Cardi B’s Past as a Stripper is Poetic Justice for Toxic Masculinity

By: H.T., H.T.’s Blog

Now you understand
just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
the need for my care.
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

by Maya Angelou, Phenomenal Woman

I’m just gonna say it: I’m on Cardi B’s side about her past of drugging and robbing men because frankly this is what you all get for years of thinking that just because you have cash that a woman owes you sex. I can’t draw a comparison between Cardi drugging men and say, Cosby because frankly there is a bit of a difference in power dynamics between victims of Cosby and victims of Cardi.

Cosby dealt solely with women that even without drugs he could upend the lives of just with his power as a star alone. The main reason Cosby got away with his crimes for as long as he did was because he held more power than virtually all the women he raped. And as far as what Cosby did, a rapist far outweighs a thief. For Cardi, frankly this is why I’m pro-sex work and why regulation is needed. Both because women like Cardi exist in sex work because due to it being illegal things like drugging and theft happen, but for the men, the fact that they felt entitled to Cardi’s body and thus likely would have been a bigger physical danger to her than she would ever be to them is why I can’t say Cardi should be likened to Cosby.

If anything, Cardi was more of a victim and more sympathetic than any man that tries to pay to fuck a stripper. Strippers are people too, and as someone who knows strippers, let me tell you that the ones that WILL fuck don’t WANT to fuck the kind of men that think a stripper is also supposed to be open to having sex with every man with a wad of cash and a hard dick. I’ve met women like Cardi, had coffee and dinner with them. No, I did not have sex with them and that’s perfectly fine with me. But I view them as people and frankly I see why one of them would drug and rob a man that relentlessly propositioned them for cash.

Fact is, strippers aren’t all cynics with the body of Victoria Secrets model. A lot are just women with everyday jobs and lives. School, kids, bills, family. Honestly, it’s hard to go to strip clubs because as far as sex workers go, strippers tend to have the most pedestrian lives but have to deal with the most shit because, yeah, guys are dicks when we’re horny, and unlike prostitution which wholesale knows it’s dealing with far more dangerous clientele, strippers on average deal with a far ranging spectrum of issues. I’ve heard stories from strippers how they made money off men that had wives of 40+ years die or men who suffered from severe depression but live in a culture that tells them that getting help is a sign of weakness, so in turn, strippers wind up having to fill a void of physical intimacy that some men can only afford to pay to temporarily fill. At the same time, there are men at these same strip clubs who make life for strippers almost unlivable. Honestly, every stripper has dealt with a guy who thought he was in love with her, and yes, SOME do take advantage of said man, but I believe men like that need to learn, not that strippers are bad people, but that you can’t think with your dick. She strips to pay her bills, not play into some savior complex you have.

But I can tell you that the kind of men, the ones that press strippers for sex, DESERVE to be robbed and DESERVE all the ridicule they get for it. I’ve known strippers, and I’ve known the kinds of men that try to fuck them, and I can tell you first hand that these kinds of men are not the same as a rape victim because someone who is drugged takes drink after drink to fit in, but a guy who gets robbed goes step after step to get robbed because he’s dumb and horny and thinks further compliance will get him sex with a woman that likely wouldn’t do if it were all up to her and no money was exchanged. A rape victim is a victim of the desire for acceptance clouding judgement, these men are victims of entitlement and narcissism and just not thinking “what gives me the right to bargain this woman for her body? If she said no off break, why push it?”

I’m glad Cardi has a successful career. I laugh at these guys because I know men like them and they’re all fucking morons, horny dicked dumbasses that legit think they’re owed a woman’s time and bodies because cash. And to that I say, if you never wanted to get drugged and robbed, maybe don’t badger her FOR sex, maybe don’t be such a sad horny son of a bitch that only thinks about himself. I’ll admit it, I have much less sympathy for the follies of the male libido, especially black male libidos, because I’ve been there, I’ve learned to be better, I have work to do, but you niggas keep making rookie mistakes because none of you think “but what if I DON’T fuck her?”

No, you all have to be horny little trolls that decide that once you see a woman you want, nothing will stop you, and this is WHY Tarana Burke started #MeToo. Honestly, women like Cardi only get to rob you sad knee grows because you already don’t keep your dicks to yourself, so frankly I see her and women like her that come for men’s pockets as just desserts. My whole life, I’ve had to watch and in ways suffer because you test tube baby ass motherfuckers did some shit like press women for sex, stalked women, assaulted women, raped women, even nearly murdered a few around me. And you know what? I hope they rob all of you. I almost got fired, got harassed by police, guns pulled on me, punched, kicked, jumped, tased, maced, cut, hit by cars, almost went to jail, all because you DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS wanna do shit like follow behind some random woman in a two piece and fishnets with a fat ass all night, but you never think about how this shit affects people beyond you.

I’ve met women who’ve done things like this to men, and I can tell you, these men are not sympathetic. They deserve to have their shit stolen in exchange for all the wasted time from dealing with these men’s blue balled bullshit, the stripper lost stage money with their bullshit, security is pressed harder over fuckups like this, other law abiding patrons are treated more hostile due to these kinds of fuck ups, and god help if he has friends that have to clean up after him. Seriously, I don’t feel bad for these men and I hope they learned their lesson. Fuck em.

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