Black Nerd Men Have a Problem with Shallowness, Colorism & Egotism

By:  H.T., Website:  Rogue Black Nerd

Let me start by saying that if this does not apply to you, then please don’t go on and on about “not all black nerd men!”


As it closes in on the year anniversary of said article that had the entire black nerd community on my ass, I had time to think and to change.  My girlfriend I was with at the time when I wrote it broke up with me, my great-grandma and great-aunt died, I changed jobs again, I started to try and make peace with my mom.  But reading the article I wrote almost a year later, I think it’s time I said what needs to be said but from an honest place.

Dear black male nerds, you can’t keep complaining that black women don’t like you when you don’t do enough to maintain basic tenants of hygiene, self-respect, and good personality.  Yes, you all complain, “But black nerd girls get with Asian and white guys!”  Yes, and you know why?

It’s because those guys at the very least have the bright idea to (surprise!) act right, dress right, and treat them right.  You can’t complain that all black women want is a yes man or a thug when it’s clear as day you’re one of those guys who only goes after Instagram models that only date thugs and complain that they don’t like you while ignoring the fuck out of every black girl that ACTUALLY likes the same shit as you.

It’s why looking back I have to admonish myself and others for when we complained about women like Ciara, Lauren London and Christina Milian for having kids by so-called “thugs” but not getting with so-called “good black men”.  Look, I get it.  It can be annoying as fuck to have your eye on the PYT of your class and you hear her talk about how one day she wants a house, kids and a loving husband but dates nothing but certifiably bad guys.  But here’s the thing:  it isn’t our job to either rescue them from their fate nor exact punishment for ignoring us.  If she wants to keep dating guys that we KNOW are bad while ignoring you, then guess what?  Life itself will learn her better than any Facebook post about how black women only want thugs then wonder why all the good black men go to white women.

The reason people don’t feel sorry for black nerd men about our dating woes these days is because if you break things down to their base point, it’s really just a matter of shallowness and stubbornness.  “But no one tells black women to improve.”  Actually that’s bullshit.  The entire beauty care industry exists because of societal beauty pressures.  The difference between what we ask of women vs what we ask of men aren’t the same.  A man just has to dedicate his life to a career that will pay well, or get in shape, or to just believe in himself.  Women?  We expect them to have a black woman’s butt and thighs, huge tits, skin fair enough to look racially ambiguous or “exotic” while also being a domestic goddess.  All things that in the end only benefit a man really.

This goes to why people didn’t feel sorry for me when I said to go date outside our race and why I stopped believing that doing such a thing will make us happy as men.  Honestly, I know plenty of nerdy men of all races in happy relationships, marriages even, that are with women that aren’t the ideal we hold black women to but are happy.  The reason so many people don’t feel sorry for us is that clearly a lot of us (me included) have no problem dating white women who are basically a huge downgrade from most of the black women who curved us, but will hold a grudge against top tier black women who keep shooting us down.

Black women don’t owe anyone affections, not because of any reason other than they are people.  And frankly believing that you’re the better choice because supposedly black women only want thugs says less about them and more about the fact you are led more by your blue balled fantasies about women.  I can’t feel sorry for my fellow black nerd men as fact is it’s clear as day our gripe is less a matter of rejection and more a dream deferred.

Some of you will call me a simp or that I’m caping for e-pussy, but you know what?  I don’t care.  I don’t care because quite frankly speaking as one, black nerdy men are some of the most hypocritical people I have ever met.  We complain about so called “thugs” taking all the “good” women, when in reality said women are just women who make your dick twitch and likely have nothing in common with you.  You complain about the thugs, but then try to use the same tactics in interacting with said women that they use because, hey, if it gets the girls you want and not the ones that actually have something in common with you, it must work!

Nevermind that some girls like it when you (respectfully & appropriately) compliment them, or dress nice, or bathe, or buy them flowers.  No, for the shallow reasons of getting the attention of equally shallow women who are aesthetically pretty, this is why so many black nerd men go to MGTOW and Red Pill Pages to learn how to be the very morally debased men they claim to hate because in the end it gets them the object of their lust.  And you know what?  I don’t feel sorry for any of you any more as truth be told there are plenty of nice nerdy women who would like us for who we actually are, yes, many are black.  But within the black community we as men think things like misogyny, flippant violence, manipulation and open objectification are signs of strong masculinity.  There are a lot of very attractive black women in the blerd community that a lot of the men shit on the appearance of not even always because they’re unattractive but rather their skin tone, or their hair, or…something.

I say all this because frankly when I said this the first time years ago, all anyone did was jump in the comments and called me a simp, which proved my point really.  Now I say it again with renewed vigor as frankly somebody has to call out the men of our community for openly sticking a stick in the spokes of their bike on the road towards happiness.  I say this not because I want anything or because I got anything.  If anything, the black nerd community treats me as a pariah more than anything, so really I have absolutely nothing to lose, and will likely gain nothing.  I say all this because quite honestly I realize the problem and I think it’s time we as a community fixed it as it’s not helping to sit and bitch.

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