Post Malone “Psycho” Lyrics Translated Into English

[Chorus:  Post Malone]

Damn, my AP goin’ psycho, lil’ mama bad like Michael
Can’t really trust nobody with all this jewelry on you
My roof look like a no-show, got diamonds by the boatload
Come with the Tony Romo for clowns and all the bozos
My AP goin’ psycho, lil’ mama bad like Michael
Can’t really trust nobody with all this jewelry on you
My roof look like a no-show, got diamonds by the boatload
Don’t act like you my friend when I’m rollin’ through my ends, though

Translation:  Austin Richard Post

My ridiculously expensive Audemars Piguet watch is very ostentatious and full of diamonds.  In addition to that, this young woman that I am eyeing is very beautiful…not beautiful to imply that I think she looks like the late legendary king of pop Michael Jackson, but beautiful as to where I’m using the title of one Michael Jackson’s songs/albums “Bad” and using it as a positive descriptor for how beautiful she is to me.  I just want to let you all know that when you wear a bunch of jewelry, you have to be extremely cautious around people because they might wish to do bad things onto you.  Also in case you haven’t noticed, I’m driving around in a convertible car that currently has the top let down so that I can show off all of the diamond jewelry that I am wearing from my teeth, to my earrings, to necklaces, to bracelets, to my watch all the way to my rings.  Now when I say “come with the Tony Romo” that is in reference to professional football player by the name of Tony Romo which people apparently like to use his name as a sort of synonym for denoting that something bad is about to happen.  Now that we have that understood, I just want to put all of you clowns and bozos on notice to not approach me with bad intentions, i.e. Tony Romo.  Once again, I want to remind you about my ridiculously expensive watch and this very beautiful woman whom is more than likely attracted to my watch instead of just me because I probably wouldn’t have been able to get her attention if it wasn’t for this watch.  But then again, as I’ve already stated, I probably can’t really trust her at all because of her attraction to my watch and all of my other ridiculously expensive gaudy jewelry.  But hey, who cares, because I’m here to remind you that I am driving around in my convertible car letting all of my gaudy jewelry been seen so that I can come up with another excuse not trust people around me when I’m wearing all of this jewelry for no other reason than to be seen because let’s face it, none of you are my friends.  If it wasn’t for this money and jewelry, I probably wouldn’t have a lot of people trying to be my friend.

[Verse 1:  Post Malone]

You stuck in the friend zone, I tell that four-five the fifth, ayy
Hunnid bands inside my shorts, DeChino the shit, ayy
Try to stuff it all in, but it don’t even fit, ayy
Know that I been with the shits ever since a jit, ayy
I made my first million, I’m like, “Shit, this is it,” ayy
30 for a walkthrough, man, we had that bitch lit, ayy
Had so many bottles, gave ugly girl a sip
Out the window of the Benzo, we get seen in the rent’
And I’m like “Woah, man, my neck so goddamn cold”
Diamonds wet, my t-shirt soaked
I got homies, let it go, oh
My money thick, won’t ever fold
She said, “Can I have some to hold?”
And I can’t ever tell you no

Translation:  Austin Richard Post

So apparently you are stuck in some woman’s friend zone.  Meanwhile I’m just saying a bunch of random numbers that really don’t have a real meaning in regards to the context of me informing you that you are stuck in the friend zone.  Anyways, in case you haven’t noticed, I have 100 bands of money (the equivalent to $100k) somehow magically stuffed inside of my shorts because I’m not a fan of depositing my money into a bank account and just carrying a plastic debit/credit card around.  The reason I do this is because I want to help my alter ego by the name of Leon DeChino feel like he is important and not forgotten as I travel down the road to riches and fame under my present stage name of Post Malone.  But the reality is, I can’t actually physically put that much money inside of my shorts for what should have been very obvious reasons.  But moving on, I want to let you know that I’ve been acting like for quite a while now ever since I was little kid when I used to try to stuff as much Monopoly money inside of my shorts so I can appear to be more successful that all of the other kids on the playground back where I’m originally from.  But when I finally got older and made my first $1 million dollars, that’s when I really knew I was onto something big and life changing.  A part of that life change was when people started paying me $30k just to walk through a club to be seen and as I was walking through the club, people began to celebrate really hard just because of my presence in the club.  A part of my deal for walking through the club was the club owner giving me basically an unlimited supply of alcoholic beverages by the bottle to where I would have so many that even the women that I didn’t consider attractive could come over and indulge in the free alcohol that I would normally reserve for only women I consider beautiful.  What would normally happen after we left the club we would purposely jump into our rental Mercedes Benzes and hang out of the windows under the influence of all of that alcohol just to be seen even more.  And as people are looking at me, they would always take notice of my gaudy expensive necklaces that happened to have some diamonds in them.  In the hip hop world, we like to refer to diamonds as “ice” because they often times can look like pieces of ice.  So as people are staring, I just remember thinking to myself, “Wow, my necklaces have so much ice on them, I can almost envision myself getting hypothermia as if my necklace had real ice in it”.  Not only is my neck really “cold” but since we all know that ice left outside of a freezer starts to melt, so the fact that my necklace extends beyond my neckline to my shirt, in theory my necklace full of ice would actually begin to “melt” thereby causing my t-shirt to become soaked.  As I’m thinking about all of this under the influence of alcohol that was given to me for free at the club, my friends obviously think that I am thinking too hard on this and encourage me to just drop the subject.  I oblige, then proceed to remember reflect back on all of this cash money that I like to attempt to stuff into my shorts just to remind myself that I have so much of it that I will never be able to fold it like most normal people who walk around with very little cash money on them.  As I’m reflecting, that very beautiful woman I described as “bad” earlier that is only attracted to me because of my jewelry and money decides to ask me if she can borrow some money.  And because I’m such a nice thoughtful and unselfish guy, I allow for her to have some of my money that I can’t fold nor stuff inside of my shorts.

[Verse 2:  Ty Dolla $ign]

The AP goin’ psycho, my Rollie goin’ brazy
I’m hittin’ lil’ mama, she wanna have my babies
It’s fifty on the pinky, chain so stanky
You should see the whip, promise I can take yo’ bitch
Dolla ridin’ in an old school Chevy, it’s a drop top
Boolin’ with a thot-thot, she gon’ give me top-top
Just one switch, I can make the ass drop (hey)
Uh, take you to the smoke shop
We gon’ get high, ayy, we gon’ hit Rodeo
Dial up Valentino, we gon’ hit Pico
Take you where I’m from, take you to the slums
This ain’t happen overnight, no, these diamonds real bright
Saint Laurent jeans, still in my Vans though
All VVS’, put you in a necklace
Girl, you look beautiful tonight
Stars on the roof, they matching with the jewelry

Translation:  Tyrone William Griffin, Jr.

While everybody is focused on Austin Richard Post’s expensive Audemars Piguet watch, I just want to remind everybody that I am wearing an expensive Rolex watch that I like to describe as “brazy” which is gang terminology used by the notorious Blood gang that originated out of Los Angeles, California to where words that start with the letter C, they replace that letter with the letter B because the enemy of the Blood gang is another Los Angeles based gang known as the Crips and well, their name starts with the letter C.  So to demonstrate just how much we Bloods do not like Crips, we’ll purposely mispronounce words in the English language sounding like complete fools.  Anyways, thanks to my expensive Rolex watch, this watch has afforded me the opportunity to sleep with a woman who apparently wants me to get her pregnant.  But I can’t be concerned with that right now because I want to let you all know that I spent $50K on a pinky ring and my necklace is so damn cool that I choose to describe it as “stanky” because most people’s face frown up when they look at it.  In addition to my pinky ring and necklace, I would like for you divert your eyes to my automobile which is so fancy that it is guaranteed to cause your woman to leave you for me.  In case you are wondering what type of vehicle it is, it is an old-school Chevy convertible.  Often times I like to ride in this Chevy “boolin” (more Blood gang pronunciations for the word “coolin” because once again, we don’t like Crips or the letter C…except for the word Chevy) with a woman who likes to perform oral sex on me as I’m driving.  When she’s not performing oral sex on me, I have a hydraulic system installed in my car to where I can literally hit a switch and that will cause my hydraulic system to drop the rear end of my car very close to the ground so that I can be what we call out here in California a “low rider”.  After I lower the rear end of my car, I take this woman who was giving me oral sex to the local marijuana dispensary shop so that we both can get high off of marijuana.  After we finished getting high, I then take this woman to one of the most expensive areas in Los Angeles called Rodeo Drive to either be seen or to buy stuff or a combination of both.  After our trip to Rodeo Drive, I’m gonna call somebody named Valentino (maybe R&B singer Bobby Valentino) and then go to some spot named Pico.  Then after that I’m going to drive this woman to ghetto where I come from to serve as a reminder that all of this success I’m currently experiencing in my life didn’t happen overnight.  This success has afforded me the opportunity to wear real diamonds unlike so many other people in the ghetto I come from that are more than likely wearing fake diamonds trying to pretend like they have money and are successful like me.  Even though I am wearing ridiculously expensive Saint Laurent jeans that cost anywhere from $300 to $2500 for some jeans, I still wear Vans shoes which are rather affordable that a lot of white kid skaters were originally known for wearing because I’m not too caught up in fashion beyond my expensive jeans.  As an act of appreciation that I have for you giving me oral sex in my Chevy and allowing for me to drive you from the expensive part of Los Angeles to the ghetto I was raised in, I would like to offer the opportunity to wear a VVS necklace (stands for “very, very slightly” denoting a diamonds near flawless status).  If you wear this necklace, you will look so beautiful this evening.  If you look up at the night time sky, the twinkling of the stars match the twinkling of this diamond necklace I am letting you presently wear.

[Chorus repeated]

Your favorite mulatto.
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