I’m Accused of Wanting to Be White All the Time & Truth Be Told….I Do.

Every now and then I have to remind people that I’m a mulatto.  Half black, half white.  Most of the black people who read this site, I’m fairly certain that most don’t care which is why in the almost 5 years of this site’s existence I hardly ever talk about being biracial.  Every now and then a few hotepish knee grows will make it a point to call me out on being biracial, especially when I talk about a subject criticizing black people.  Now when I’m talking about white people’s bullshit, I’m viewed as strictly just black all day (for the most part).  When I call out black people’s bullshit, my black card is magically snatched and I’m disinvited from the barbecue…but I’m still going to damn barbecue, because it’s not a real barbecue.  But regardless, none of this foolishness bothers me as evidenced by continued criticism of black people’s bullshit.

One thing often told to me when a black person wants to call me out for being biracial when I’m talking about black people’s bullshit is how a lot of black people love to tell me, “You just wanna be white.”  I used to argue this point saying shit like, “How come I can’t just be biracial?  How come if I don’t want to 100% claim JUST black then I must JUST want to be white as if being biracial is completely off the table despite that being mixed is EXACTLY what the fuck I am?”  I think I’ve now grown mentally to where debating that point is rather pointless these days and I’m just going to concede to the fact that yes, I want to be white…and I’ll give you 17 reasons why.

17 Reasons Why I Want To Be White

1.  I want to be white so I can live the remainder of my life walking around not worrying about my skin color being viewed as a threat.

2.  I want to be white so that I can have the option to move into a rundown community for really cheap and watch as the property values magically skyrocket.

3.  I want to be white so I don’t have to worry about black people accusing me of “talking white” for simply speaking proper English.

4.  I want to be white so I can casually drive down the street and not worry about the possibility of becoming the next trending hashtag on Twitter over an encounter with the police.

5.  I want to be white so I can turn on the tv and see an endless stream of positive images of people who look like me versus the constant ratchedness being force fed to me now.

6.  I want to be white so I don’t have to worry about being called a coon every other conversation for simply having a difference of opinion with another black person.

7.  I want to be white so that I can know what it feels like to do less than half the work a black person has to do and still move ahead of a black person at a faster pace.

8.  I want to be white so that I can know first hand what it’s like to be a part of a culture that doesn’t have a 77% out of wedlock birthrate.

9.  I want to be white so that I can be a part of a culture that doesn’t constantly accuse me of thinking I’m better than everybody else for simply trying to improve the overall quality of my life.

10.  I want to be white so I can be a part of a culture that doesn’t have people running around trying to prove that they are a “real nigga” every 5 minutes.

11.  I want to be white so I can hear more people saying “I’m keeping it burbs” vs “I’m keeping it hood”.

12.  I want to be white so that I can remove myself from these “We need to support black businesses” conversations that sound great on social media, but fail miserably in practical application.

13.  I want to be white so that I can remove myself from the black community’s constant complaints of being accused of being a monolith, all while demanding black people actually become a monolith on every damn subject.

14.  I want to be white so that I can completely separate myself from this toxic black inferiority complex permeating through black society to the point where too many black people honestly believe that they can’t do shit at all (even trivial shit).

15.  I want to be white because quite truthfully, I’m tired of talking about “the struggle” and going through “the struggle”.  I just want to wake up everyday struggle-free.

16. I want to be white so I can experience what it’s like to benefit off of generational wealth.

But most importantly…

17. I want to be white so that I can just be my damn self without being accused of “acting white”.

So those are just a few reasons I want to be white.  Doesn’t sound too bad to me.