Your #MCM is Really Just a Bum

There’s this young dude (about 25ish) that lives in my neighborhood that I often hear long before I see him because he has this obnoxiously loud car stereo system which clearly has no Dynamat in his trunk because his trunk rattles the shit out out of his Dodge Charger like a somebody playing the drums on a bunch of aluminum trash can lids.  Anyways, outside of that, he’s a fresh looking dude.  Sometimes I’ll see him in the neighborhood or at the corner store and he stays with the latest pair of fresh J’s on.  His Gucci & Louie belt collection appears to be on point.  His tattoo game is stronger than mines.  His rims are nice; basically, he appears to be doing all of the right things a 25ish year old dude should be doing to attract the most vagina.  But the problem is…this nigga is really a bum.

To my understanding, this nigga got about 3 or 4 baby mamas, lives at home with his mama, has no real job (as in a career), and he’s out on these Soundcloud mixtape streets trying to become the next mumble rapper.  But the ladies adore this nigga.  I looked this dude up on Instagram recently and he has a rather nice following with tons of comments from the ladies typing heart emojis and referring to him as “bae”.  All of his pictures seem to display him in just the right light to cast off the image that this nigga is really more successful than what he truly is, and it appears to be working I suppose.  Who knows.

Now some of you are probably reading this thinking to yourself that I sound like a hater, I’m just jealous or whatever.  I don’t give a shit.  But, then again I do give a shit because when I was 25ish (13 years ago) I was that dude somewhat.  I had a nice car, rims, sound system (with a dynamatted trunk), my shoe game & wardrobe game was proper, my selection of ladies was proper (before I met my wife of course)….my tattoo game was ok, I’m light skindeded and I was in way better shape back then that I am now.  But the differences between this nigga & myself was, I was also a college graduate, I had an actual career, I didn’t have any baby mamas and most importantly, I didn’t live with my mama (hell, the following year I bought my first house).  I also didn’t have Instagram back then to get my flex on to show the world how I was doing it “big”.  Maybe if I did, who knows the possibilities that would have opened up for me in terms of racking up social media coochie in the form of endless heart emojis.  I can just imagine….

Anyways, I type all of this to say….ladies, that nigga that you’ve designated as your #MCM (man crush Monday for the slow people in that back), if that knee grow only displays images showing off his chest, tattoos, shoe & belt collection, and his rims on his car yet never showing you any type of asset he owns (like a house) or any type of paperwork showing you his educational/professional credentials…chances are that nigga is a bum.  But the crazy part about all of this is, most of you women know this and accept this because deep down inside, most of you are bums too.

Your favorite mulatto.
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