Can This Be the Year That Men Stop Being Creepy to Women on Social Media?

By:  H.T., Website:  Rogue Black Nerd

I am not a prophet nor a guru.  What I am is a man who has lived long enough in the modern age of social media to know that there are things that we as men need to just understand.  See, I say I’m not perfect because I got to the point that I’m at of not being an annoying presence on women’s social media that I know by a few times back in the Myspace era of, unknowingly pestering a girl I liked or thought was pretty.  A few blocks here, a talk with the principle there and my dad just sitting me down and explaining that you just can’t message a girl you like multiple times in a week with no response.  Nevertheless, I learned but I fear that this lesson is lost on this generation of men.  For me, I know plenty of women who are the kinds of attractive women that these guys are rejected by.  And of these women, I’m on good terms with them as I really don’t comment or like their pics or say anything on their statuses.  Now is this because I don’t find them attractive or like them?  No, I do but I also pay attention.  I read their statuses and see their selfies and it’s easy to figure out if they’re dating someone, if they’re busy, if they are stressed, or if they’re happy.  I also know that some are either married, are in a relationship, are busy with kids or just have a steady amount of casual sex partners or a steady sex partner.  So for the most part, I’m interacting with women that I take some interest in their lives but it’s unlikely I’ll be with them.  And that’s okay as for the most part, I’ve lost my sense of entitlement to women simply on the grounds that it never ends well to think your owed a woman’s affections.

This is written not simply because women are harassed by well meaning but otherwise creepy guys online, but more because now there are corners of the net dedicated to justifying the anger from rejection that they feel.  MGTOW, Red Pill and countless others have dedicated themselves to standing up for the “nice guys” who get rejected by the so-called “whores of social media.”  These groups justify men’s entitlement by stating things like, “Well she only keeps you around for her ego. She’s talking to like 10 other guys at once” or “She only posts those selfies to get attention.”  Ok, and?  What’s your point?  The belief that a woman cannot publicly display her beauty without it being for the male gaze is a dying, if not already archaic view of the world.  Ok, so she responds to other men that aren’t you, what’s your point?  Why does this generation of men believe that just because a woman is a public figure or public in some way that she’s required to put up with them?

“But they only do it for attention!”  And you have the ability to not indulge them and move on with your life, but because you have chosen to let lust be your lord and master, this is where you are.  Fact is, this has always been the woman’s decision on if and whom she chooses to interact with, but the angry, horny masses of men out here are attempting to force their way into a woman’s heart.  Seriously, it’s been almost a decade since social media became a part of our lives, years of men getting in trouble over cyber-stalking and harassment for years, and yet no one has learned the lesson.  If she wants to talk to you, she’ll talk to you.  If she doesn’t, she doesn’t.  The reason I say this needs to change is because it’s becoming a self fulfilling prophecy in that these men complain that society is giving all the power to the “whores” of the internet and casting men in a bad light.  This is not because men are bad, but rather men like THEM are a problem.  “Oh, but if they don’t get a bunch of likes for their pics, they get angry.”  No, your conflating a very small minority with a great deal of women who are tired of posting pics of themselves in sweats at a bonfire with friends and have some weirdo from work say they look beautiful and flirting with them.  Geez, have some restraint.  And for the record, she flirts with the good looking guys for two reasons:  one, she’s actually attracted to them or at least wants to talk to them and two, these men know the deal and don’t have the ego the “nice guys” have.

Social media sites along with dating websites are being forced to crack down hard on harassment to the point that the sites are starting to lose some of the fun openness of it all.  Women shouldn’t have to never post a pic of themselves on social media, not simply because it’s wrong, but because when it gets to the point that a woman could post a pic of herself in overalls or sweats and still have guys in the comments being uncomfortable to her, eventually the site will have to rework itself over and over again just to deal with what should be a minor issue.  In short, men have to realize that yes, having a flood of men that she’s not attracted to bothering her is uncomfortable for ANY woman, and we should stop this borderline John Hinckley level stalking of women.  It’s creepy, plain and simple and if it’s not stopped, soon social media WILL HAVE TO police how men and women interact because they too tire of the complaints that their platform can’t make them feel comfortable or safe.  And men, for the love of god, no amount of bitter mumbling and ranting will get women to find this shit ok.  Just.  Fucking.  Stop.