What Socially Awkward Men Need to Understand About Dating in the #MeToo Era

By:  H.T., Website:  Rogue Black Nerd

In the age of #Metoo and the constant ousting of high profile men in society, I think it’s time someone addressed the big question that only seems to be talked about on sites dedicated to teaching young black men, namely blerd men, into driving their feet into the sand and resisting change.  I’m of course talking about the question of “how does one date anymore when it’s clear that at any point we can be called out for making a woman uncomfortable?”  This is the usual refrain from blerd men who complain that because women are uncomfortable with them, now just saying hi puts them in danger of being labeled a sexual harasser and losing a job.

The usual memes going around is that women are made uncomfortable by things said by an unattractive man, but if those same things were said by an man they’re attracted to, it’s all good.  This is not a double standard, this is just how we are as humans.  See, I can prove the same applies to men:  if a woman who you found attractive started complimenting you, you’d feel good about yourself.  If a woman you AREN’T attracted to not only compliments you but maybe even starts flirting with you, you’d be uncomfortable.  For me, if I had a job in an office and a woman who looked like pre-surgery momma June was telling me I look good in my slacks, I’d be a bit uncomfortable.  However, if the woman across from my cubicle says she likes the way my new jacket fits on me and looks like Stephanie Van Rijn, then yes I’ll get a bit of a hop in my step.

But you ask, well why does the woman get to use HR to get me fired?  Well, it’s because come about the late 70s to the 80s, sexual harassment protocols had to get put in because frankly, the civil suits over women who refused to get felt up and their ass grabbed looked like a great deal of lost money for companies, along with bad PR.  However, this is actually a sign for the good because really there’s no benefit in going backwards culturally for male egos.

So that leads back to the question raised before:  how does one date when the unspoken status of being unattractive can possibly have one labeled a creeper?  Well, the best I can tell you is that all the game theorists, the pick up artists, and your weird uncles will not save you from the fact that some women just aren’t gonna be attracted to you, simple and plain.  You can dress better, act better, possibly even look better, but you must understand that at no point does any woman OWE you affection.  They’re not whores looking for a come up, and really you can’t complain if women practice hypergamy when as a culture there are entire companies or parts of companies that sell products whose basic reason for selling said product is “guys buy this and she’ll fuck you.”  Hell, how many rap songs are about how a guy having more money than you and will fuck your girl?  So can you really complain if a woman wants the richest or the best looking man when that’s all we praise other men for?

Dating isn’t hard, you just have to learn to accept rejection.  If it’s clear she doesn’t want to talk to you, or is busy, or you’re working and she’s not in a playful mood, let it go.  Will it break your heart when the office good looking guy walks up and she changes her demeanor?  Yes, but this is the nature of the beast.  I’m sorry guys, contrary to my past article, the fact is if you’re a man that at the least the women around you don’t find attractive, there’s very little that can be done about it.  What’s more, there’s nothing saying you can’t find someone who is attracted to you, but, yes you might have to “date down” so to speak as really you can’t sit and complain that you can’t find a date when the reality is that your date might not look like, say, Lupita Nyongo or Nia Long.

But the most important thing to understand is that even if you are a good guy, or nice, or helpful or are on paper the better choice for her, the final say goes to the woman.  #MeToo speaks to a new age where frankly we just can’t argue down if we’ve made a woman uncomfortable anymore, and frankly it’s time we learn to adapt.  No amount of complaining nor claims of cultural marxism will stop this.

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