I write this to admit that, simply put, the Jamilah Lemieuxs, the Nettas and the Feminista Joneses are going to win in the cultural war of who decides the narrative for black millennials. And I hate to say it but, it’s our fault men. It’s all our fault. See, the millennial man since elementary school has been groomed to be vain, egotistical creatures that focus more on swag and “clout” than substance and integrity. When nerdy black millennial men state our grievances, it’s not simply that men feel entitled to black women’s bodies because we were told we would be the new scions of hope for the black community, it’s because we believed we were taking a far better path than the mindless but well dressed men that women flocked to. What drove us up a wall was when in black spaces, the war between black feminism and pro-black patriarchy commenced.
The reason so many blerd men walked away from the hoteps and their need to “restore the black family” was that they offered a world that for the blerd meant we were no better off than before. The super duper pro-black types can claim that they are for black men, but the reality is that if you a nerd, are gay, are of mixed race or simply believe that a woman should have the same rights as a man, you are not welcome. But for blerds, the reason you see so many going over and aligning themselves with black feminists is because it’s really not hard to go along with their ideology. Just praise black women and do no harm. Simple as that. The hoteps, or ankh-right as they are called, call for almost a Handmaid’s Tale situation with black women while claiming that’s what they want for men.
No, the answer is actually quite simple. In hindsight, my perspective on She’s Gotta Have It was misguided. The reality is that men these days can’t complain that women are being “hoes” or being in polyamorous relationships when black men’s very masculinity fosters the environment for these things to flourish. The modern black man builds so much of his masculinity off promiscuity, avoiding commitment and by definition misogyny:
Misogyny, n. : dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.
So many memes and tweets about how women are hoes and jokes about avoiding labels. You can’t be shocked when women adapt to this and just glorify side chicks and sharing men. You, the black man, are why this became the norm. You all wanted to dress and act like you were the next Bryson Tiller, Trey Songz or Chris Brown because it got you sex, but few if any of you decided to learn what it takes to keep a woman as you worried more about what other men thought of you than what a woman thought of you. So, in reality, you can’t complain that black women didn’t shape into the people you needed them to be when you weren’t what they needed.
I say black women will run this generation because they seem to be the only ones making any real strives to build within the black community. Sports, business, science, politics, entertainment. Hell, when Barack was in office, I saw more black men shitting on him for not “giving us our own nation” (which would likely turn into a fascist regime if the hoteps are in charge) or because he clearly loves Michelle so much, which many black men have decided that it’s a sign of weakness, simpin’ if you will. Black women are running things because black men, for the most part, have set our sites too short. We believe that if we can at least attract women for whatever means to an end we need, were good. Black women, on the other hand want more. They want businesses, they want trophies, they want to invent cures and to teach other little girls how to make the world a better place.
People shit on Damon Young and men like him, but the fact is men like him will soon become the norm as the men who claim themselves as the “alpha males” will soon be put out to pasture. If you weigh a man’s success in life solely on his ability to get sex from women (consensually) then the truth is in time that man’s success can only be maintained if he works on other aspects of his life, such as finances or personality, or…no that’s it, finances. See, men like to buy into the myth that as a woman gets older her sexual value goes down while a man’s goes up because we assume he’s making more money. This does not apply in the black community. Amongst us, black women get older, but also age far better depending on how much time they invested in self care. Black men, believing that we’ll always look like our prime, often neglect our looks and even health. As for finances, while they pay gap still edges out black women from white men, they still make more than black men. And of course, this is where black men get upset and claim that it’s a white supremacist conspiracy to emasculate the black man.
Black men can’t complain about years of black women creating lives without them or with non-black men when we LOVE to make every other post be about how we don’t love these hoes and how we don’t let our girls go through our phones. This. This is what you’ve gotten as a response. And I must in a way thank this failing generation of men for inspiring the women to fight back. Bra-fucking-vo. You can complain all you want than men aren’t going to get pussy following these women, but what if that’s not why they’re following them? What if they are the ones who will make the world black people have sought out for years? What if your non-stop pussy hunt was truly what stopped progress?
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