Black Men Need to Stop Blaming Black Women for Their Shortcomings. Simple & Plain.

By:  H.T., Website:  Rogue Black Nerd

I think I need to start the new year with a few harsh but necessary truths about our condition.

One of the mainstays of nerdy black men is that black women don’t want us and only go for thugs.  This would be true…if you only explored your local area WHERE these kinds of women are prevalent.  If at no point you try to get out of your area where this is an ACTUAL problem, you can’t go on the internet complaining that all black women are guilty of this.  Simply put, there are black women who will date blerds.  But I think the issue for us is that we focus far too much on who does NOT want us rather than seeking out those who do.  Maybe it is a woman of a different race, maybe it isn’t.  The point being that you don’t have to be a dick about it either way.

When It comes to women in general, I think the great failing of black men is that we build so much of how we treat women, namely black women, based on the stereotypes of the media and ideas put into our head by men who give off the image of being successful with women, but really are just men who know who to toy with weak willed women.  I believe that we really should consider that maybe, just maybe, some of our masculinity needs tweaking.  We spend so much time worrying about if we’re simping or getting played or if she’s a hoe that we never stop to consider that maybe we take these offenses perhaps too easily.  We walk around with this entitlement to their affections or to the idea they owe us an explanation simply because we took offense.  Maybe it’s time we stop holding grudges towards women simply because they hurt our feelings.

When It comes to black women in particular, simply put, STOP.  PUTTING.  THEM.  ON.  AN.  UNFAIR.  MORAL.  SCALE.  Yes, I get it, there’s a lot of black women who judged you, or called you ugly, but I think fighting back has done us no good.  So far, all I see are many disenfranchised young black men throwing stones at black women.  They claim that by saying that black men are the white people of black people, they’re kicking us out of blackness.  But has anyone stopped to consider if this is true?  If you really think about it, without the judgement of other maligned black men weighing on you, you can see their point.  In the grand scheme of things, black men build so much of our masculinity around emasculating other men, controlling women, avoiding monogamy and materialism.  The very same things that white men do amongst themselves.  The difference between us and white men is that while the white man used his power to place white women on a pedestal to where now their beauty is (sadly) still the base beauty standard along with giving them the social capital to almost have more power than even white men themselves, black men demean our women, lust for any woman that looked nothing like her and then wonder why eventually black women simply move past us as a community.

I hate to say it black men, but if you wonder why black women have managed to rise up and take over culturally, the answer is simply look around at what your fellow black man is doing in the name of raising up other black men.  Sure, there are teachers and mentors, but too many black men are stuck in the past with their mindset about what it means to be a strong black man.  Too many black men are still believing that we need to still be the most physically strong and the one who gets the most women, but never consider that, perhaps, maybe it’s time we grew as people for the sake of our race.

Black men can’t complain that black women are dating away from us while trying to get us to deal with our masculinity issues when the reasoning for both is right there.  They date outside of us because too many of us seem content with arrested development and praising any women, yes even black ones, that look as non-black as possible at the detriment of black women.  The masculinity comes in at the fact that black men’s masculine identity as it relates to women is built around both A) misogyny by definition and B) the fear of looking gay to anyone, thus being stripped of your identity as a strong heterosexual male.

This, even at its most passive is, yes, toxic.  Cynthia G doesn’t help with her standards of alpha male and beta male black men as it only fuels the fire for these problems and is why so many black men and women buy into these damaging ideals.  It’s 2018 and we still judge black men by mislabeled standards for wolves.  Wolves.  And yet we wonder why black men lack growth.  I’m not saying that on the whole black men need to start going full on carefree nor stay stoic monsters.  I am saying we need to unlearn a lot.  Stop judging your cousin for not getting girls, teach your male relatives about consent, stop shaming your female cousins for how they dress.

People can call me a simp or caping or whatever, but I truly believe going into this new year we need to change this shit or face the specter of black women turning on us as a whole.  Black women aren’t leaving us behind because white supremacy is poisoning them, it’s because black men are regressing.  At this point we can no longer blame black women for fucking the “regressives” when we can see the damage.

Judge me if you must, but if we dont change soon black women will leave us in the dust as we sit around stating that they just want to practice hypergamy or want to replace us.  All these sites, whether they be Ho3busters, Negro Manosphere, SargeWP or Tommy Sotomayor aren’t leading us out of this state of things.  It’s not the hoodrats, or the white man, it’s US.

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