Here we go with the (black) men are trash/ain’t shit campaign brought to you by MTV Africa.
I stumbled across a trailer for a documentary posted by AfroPunk. It featured the new westernized generation of young Africans debating the problematic treatment of (black) women. Even I cannot denounce that black women’s bodies are abused freely without a care. Shortly after watching the trailer a teenage black girl was stabbed 80 times and set on fire by a man she met on Facebook. As much as we (black men) want to fight against feminism and this new generation we have to hold back and actually look at our community. We see the problem amongst men alone. In my past experiences living in a black community, I noticed black boys limited their potential by only inspiring to be rappers or athletes. Getting black men to travel more important than ever because they need to see how corporate America works rather than ‘the streets.’
Older black men worried me the most because they fail their family and community. They always talk about the past as if it was yesterday, meanwhile some maintained their youthful lifestyle of smoking and loitering by the gas station. These men envy us because we live in a time where sexuality is liberal. So, it was not usual for older men to lust for women my age. As I write this piece I think of Joe from the Madea series. He is a perv and makes many sexual moves on younger women.
Anyways, as much as black men want to flex their power towards women, they fail to clean up their own streets. Before getting kicked out of a Facebook group dedicated to SargeWP listeners, I asked the group on what they were going to do to the thugs and abusers in our community and all of them avoided a direct answer. These men are the everyday topics in (black) MGTOW, Official Jason Black Group, TMI, Tommy Sotomayor videos and yet black men who claim to be ‘good black men’ are too afraid to the thugs. I, myself am also included. When I was a teenager, my next-door neighborhood was a victim of domestic violence. Every Thursday night, I had my ears to the door preparing for yelling, screaming and crying. Eventually, my mother had enough of this man abusing her, so one night when got kicked out the apartment and had to sleep in his car. My mom called the cops. Months later, I never saw the dude again. If someone asked me if I would protect black women, I would say “yes”, but my actions would say “no”.
I have seen two black girls being sexual harassed by the same man. When I was in college, I typically rode the bus from school to home because I did not have a car. One Friday afternoon, I got on the bus and noticed a drunk man. I have seen him before, usually sober and with his supposed wife or whomever. He was by himself chilling on the bus with a bottle still wrapped and in his hand. The bus made a second trip to my school and picked a student I recognized, but did not know personally. The drunk man was around and left his seat to talk to her. It was uncomfortable to bear, I wanted to say something, but I hesitated, and it was same hesitation that allowed that same man to stalk a young woman to her home.
Years ago, black activist Tariq Nasheed dedicated a year on the myth of street harassment, on how it was a white feminist tactic to lock up black men for merely talking women. I had to debate a Tariq Nasheed follower on how silly his theory was on their laws allegedly preventing men from saying “hi” to women on a street corner. As much as black feminist may come off as anti-black male, I cannot deny that black women are attacked.
Yet, the gray area is that black men abusing our own women is not patriarchy, it is a response to centuries of powerlessness and exclusion from the “real” table of patriarchy. In my past articles on interracial dating I have brought up the jealousy black men have under white men. Despite the swag, it compares to little on how (white) privilege overrides any trump card black men think they have. Slowly but surely, black men are doing their homework and will not take an “L” sitting down as they want to venture in businesses that whites dominate.
Black men are also looking for respect by black women. The problem is not just black women’s rejection towards patriarchy, I see that it is homosexual (black) men leading the feminist movements as I see in the trailer of The People Vs Patriarchy and also on The Grapevine (a discussion forum amongst black youths). Gay men for whatever reason are now giving dating advice and morals to black women towards the men they (black women) date. In theory, I believe gay men are afraid that the social improvement of black men rejecting feminism for conservatism will lead to their demise because straight black men are less tolerable in wanting a gay son (not gay people in general). If cis-gendered black men subscribed to feminism the lifestyles between straight and gay would be the same. Black men would not lead their communities or their household. I will not say that being gay is a cop out from male responsibility, but without patriarchy black women would still have no protection just like now. Black women are not calling their gay or transgendered cousin to fight Tyrone for assaulting her, so let us be real on why men need to stay in their gender lane.
Tricking straight black men into believing that feminism has more perks than patriarchy because it’s less stressful is just intellectual laziness. A girl group called Little Mix produced a song called Power ft. Stormzy. As much as I like Stormzy, he was an embarrassment to black men:
(Yo!)
(Hold up!)
(Check it!)
When them boys talk loose and tell you power’s for a king (huh?)
You just play it cool and tell ’em power’s not a thing (what?)
You look him in the eye and say, “I know I’m not a guy
But see there’s power in my losses and there’s power in my wins.”
Independent woman, look to shower in your Bimms
They call me cocoa but I’m mad, you can’t be powderin’ my skin
And you don’t need to spend another hour in the gym
You know I’m blinded by his grace but when you found me I was dim
And we’ll be countin’ down the years, yeah I’m about this
All them dirty secrets that we share, I’ll clear the browsers
We the type to build on our careers and share the houses
You can be a woman and a boss and wear the trousers at the same time
(You should know)
That I ain’t never lettin’ go
But as long as I’m alive, then I’ll be sponsorin’ your pride
You know there’s power in a couple, let me compliment your vibe, yo
The same things that women have no interest in doing The People Vs Patriarchy brought up that a village led by women was a great idea. It is true that there is an African village led by women, but it was a response to the lack of accountability of men being allowed to rape women. Again, with the allowed actions of “rogue males”, do not get mad (black men) when black women turn to other races of men or even women for comfort. When it comes to the structure and defense of a nation, it will be led by men. Come on, are you really going have me believe that this generation of women (from modernized Africa to America) are interested enough in masonry or construction? Go to your metro downtown capital of your state or major city and count the number of (black) women you see working. Granted there may be one or two, but it would not be enough to build a nation let alone one building.
I would like to debunk the feminist theory that a woman-led world would end wars. I happened to watch Miss Grand International and their theme was ending global violence. Granted, I am sure these women mean well by wishing equality was real and it may be their life goal, but hate is not going away especially when it is profitable. Our love for violence and mayhem keeps Hollywood in business. Terror keeps the prestige of the military. It annoys me that the media pimps out social justice warriors to fight oppression with free love, hugs, sex, positive energy and music. I think once black women understand patriarchy and racial survival they would understand that all other races of women are cutthroat for their survival. White women benefitted from white supremacy. The KKK valued white women as a forbidden fruit; merely looking at her ended the lives of black boys and men. Hitler’s concept of the Aryan race is now the global beauty standard.
Overall, patriarchy sounds perfect, but human patriarchy is imperfect even in the white community. Granted, we as men need to treat women with greater respect, but there is a rhyme and reason men frown upon actions of women. We are not going to champion sexual liberation when it creates a double standard on how women and men will value marriage because it shows our leadership. So women proposing to their man defeats the purpose of wanting black men to step up.
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