Yes, Millennial Black Men are Trash…And It’s Your Fault Black Women

By:  H.T., Website:  Rogue Black Nerd

In the quarter of a century I’ve been alive, I can say for a fact that no matter what Armstrong Williams or Larry Elder says, there is oppression of black people.  The problem is, the oppression is more in the line of mental conditioning to keep black people, on the whole, from manifesting into a cohesive unit as a culture.  Simply put, every which way the powers that be, whether it be outright white supremacists or just greedy opportunists, seek to keep black people kept in line for gains in any way.  For any race of people, to effectively start controlling them, you must first affect the men.  It’s just a part of history, when conquerors would take over cities, the men were slaughtered while the women and children were kept alive to add to the reproductive numbers of the conquering army.  The fact that this was typically not consensual impregnation is a valid point and serves to explain the state of things now.  Simply put, because it’s clearly harder to wipe out an entire minority population of men, it’s far easier to teach them to hate each other, themselves, & their women while lusting for any woman that looks nothing like them then giving them the means to destroy themselves.  For my generation, the aim has been less to destroy and more to relegate.

There once was a time when even criminals had morals and ethics.  There was a time when even they didn’t murder on the sabbath or at least not in front of a church.  There was a time when family was off limits in a feud.  And when men stepped outside of their marriage, they kept it from embarrassing their wives and still took care of her despite carrying on with another woman.  Did this make them good people?  No, by no means.  But on the grounds of practicality, it’s better than a cheating husband that’s still taking care of his children and at least attempt to maintain the illusion of stability for their children than to completely shirk all responsibilities.  This used to be the norm back in the day.  My father has many siblings, but a great deal of them are not his mother’s children.  Still, my grandfather never stopped being there for my father or his other kids and this was the code of things back then.  It’s true, back in the day when men made damn good money to where you could take care of your wife’s family and a secret family on the other side of town, men also had gambling problems and even drug addictions.  But their families were taken care of.  This doesn’t mean what they did was right, but it is to say that at the very least there was a time when even when black men were mired in vice, we still had enough honor to take care of things far more important than us.  Over time, that was lost.  By the 80s, the crack epidemic not only made parents unable to raise their families, but caused many young black men to lose great swaths of their lives in the prison system for selling drugs to try and take care of themselves or their families in a time when many factories where black people often made a great living were being shut down.  By the 90s, the children of the Reagan years were sadly starting to have their own kids in the ashes of the crack epidemic, but by this point, the dangers of drug addiction and crime were quite ubiquitous as I can remember that really no black family was without an openly addicted member or someone in their family was incarcerated due in some way to the crack eras spike in crime.  So it was safe to say that we could have been a generation ripe for building a better world.  What we got instead was teaching us that arrested development was cool.

What sets all this apart from childish naivety is that the media started to HEAVILY downplay the concept of intelligent black men and built up the ideal image of black masculinity around vanity, charm and posturing.  Things that in the end, don’t actually serve to make black men better men but will make them popular.  I say this because if these things were being promoted while also, say, pushing black men to get more into STEM or business, I could see the point.  But by the turn of the century, it seems like every black man wanted to be the next Joe Budden or Pharrell Williams rather than make the next Myspace or Amazon.  But most notably, the damage came with how black men were socialized toward women.

Black men on the whole didn’t help by buying into the idea that masculinity meant we needed to be a thug or some sort of swagged out jackass with his pants sagging.  The fact that I know people will scream respectability politics at me for thinking that maybe black men should embrace a more contemporary style of dress, but this isn’t about stopping racism.  This is about not dressing like a teenager well into your 20s.  But alas, this is the norm now.  And this is why so many black men are unable to grow in this day in terms of age maturity.  Black men on the whole grew up thinking that when it came to women, all you needed to do was say the right things, wear the right things and act the right way and women would be all over you.  Sadly this is true as fact is to this day many women still demand men be better people but clearly still give attention, if not their bodies, to men who literally value style over substance.  Fact is, the powers that be benefit more from men who are consistently kept insecure and focused more on appearance than substance as they’re easier to sell to and hold no real power in the genetic lottery that is dating.  Black men through the “savage” culture in relation to women value their sexual viability to women more than they do character.  The problem is that for as much as black women say they want good men to show up, they can’t encourage more to surface when it’s clear that the main black men getting sex and ultimately the opportunity to pass on their genetics are the highly problematic ones.  So, in turn, a new fate is decided for other black men.

When Jesse Williams made his speech stating how black men had failed black women, he wasn’t wrong, the problem is that no accountability was held for how black women played into the continuation of black men’s failings.  Simply put, as Mr. Gates of the Haterazzi Podcast pointed out, women have more power over men then they realize just with sexual preferences.  For every black man not born a thug or a savage, there are far more who attempt to go that route seeing as that’s where the majority of women go for sexual partners.  Feminists may not want to be objectified, but sexual attraction in itself is objectification, so I’m not sure what they plan to change.  Even my late grandmother called it when she said that the behaviors we were just letting young men get away with as teens and normalizing into adulthood would come back to bite us in the ass as a community.  Because no one wants to be on the bad side of the senior editor of Ebony or a blogger complaining about the lack of diversity in the Oscars, entire social media platforms and artistic institutions will fall to their knees before black women.  And this should tell you how much power black women have over the black community as a whole.

Simply put, if black women wanted to stop black men from being trash on a major level, they will have to understand that their sexual desires will block them from accomplishing that.  Yes, an awful man is great in bed, more than likely he’s gained experience from years of being told that was the main trait he had to develop more than say knowledge or integrity.  Again, I do not hate interracial relationships, but one can’t help but notice that of the cultures of men often seen dating black women, it’s usually men who come from cultures who on some level factor family and responsibility into masculinity.  The mistake black people make is that we made the concept of the family unit a political issue more than a utilitarian issue, thus making the idea that the black community didn’t need families or even fathers to raise children, further dooming us.  When black women complain that straight black men have no sense of act right, please remember what you encouraged in him, and I’m speaking to the mothers especially.  You dressed him up in designer clothes, you let him learn about what it meant to be a man from both women with unrealistic desires and men who told him that he needed to be a player to be a man.  When you decided that you would ignore every man who was serious about a relationship or marriage so you could go be “sexually liberated”, you drove away good men into being angry bitter and confused as when they found black women who wanted those things, you labeled the women “Pick Me’s” and made them seem like they were the bad guys for having standards.  In the end, “She’s Gotta Have It” became a mission statement for a community and men who wanted monogamy and women who nurtured and cared beyond sex was seen as heresy.  In the end, black men were herded either into the stable of sexually viable, the “good man” who is likely the backup plan for when you all realize this can’t last forever and the ashy collective that in the end will likely prosper more than the few voices that have made a living saying men are trash.  But in the end, you’ve doomed us all as now black men are faced with either being hyper masculine and being nothing more than a sex object or highly effeminate and almost asexual, if not bisexual to appease the idea that we be woke enough.

Congrats, you won.  You’ve doomed us all.