Growing Up as an Ugly Dude in the Age of Social Media

By:  H.T., Website:  Rogue Black Nerd

Let’s be honest for once about an uncomfortable truth about being a man:  being an ugly man is far more difficult than being a ugly woman as at the end of the day, due to the nature of men, there is ALWAYS a man who will sleep with an unattractive woman or even get into a relationship with one.  To be an ugly man has always meant that if you wanted to reproduce or at least lose your virginity, you had to actually rely on meritocracy to get to that point.  However there are a few points at which things get very…confusing.

For one, even in the age of social media, even an ugly dude can be entitled to women, and thus cause the biggest reason for his failings with women.  Even I’m guilty of it.  But at the same time, dating can be confusing in this day and age on the grounds that after a few years, you know when you can’t rely on your looks with women, but at the same time, it’s hard to know if a woman actually likes you or if this is a slow attempt at some form of hypergamy.  People will say, “You got some nerve thinking that a woman would use you for something just cause she’s attractive!”  So no woman in the history of man has been attractive and found a guy who was ugly but was beneficial in other ways to her?  Don’t get me wrong, a woman can love an unattractive man, I see it all the time.  The problem is in this day and age, for a ugly man to find love, it really is a bit of a trek.

Let’s be honest, I peaked with her.

I don’t feel sorry for women who say they can’t find a good man as good men exist but tend to be ugly dudes, simple and plain.  It’s no coincidence that I tell my cousins who date that the simple nature of things is that men who are attractive tend to have less of a need to act right as they can get sex, women’s attention and even money to an extent.  By western masculinity standards, why the fuck would he see a need to change when being as he is gets him what he needs?  This is why the black community is full of so many men that have no act right but are the main ones reproducing, because once we got rid of the fathers in the household and raised the next generations of men to think it’s cool to be a fuck up, this is how we got the men who likely will reproduce having bad priorities and the men who couldn’t rely on the ideas of masculinity we sell black men to get them sex are the main ones not having kids in the black community.  I say main and not only because there’s a lot of fuck niggas having kids by white and non-black women out here and living it up.

Still, to be an ugly man more often than not means that in today’s era you can find love, but it will require actual hard work and it will come few and far between.

The reason I don’t lie to women about myself is because I know I can’t hold it up forever, and as paranoid as it sounds, I have this underlying fear that if I lie enough to get sex from a woman and she finds out I lied, at any point should she choose she can say I committed rape by fraud which is a real crime.  Barely anyone gets charged for it anymore, but still, it’s hard to shake that rape accusation stink seeing as I have a creepy faced white knight to this day calling me a rapist off a story that has since been proven to have been discredited.

Being an ugly man is tough because simply put, you have to learn to normalize rejection, which fucks with your head.  Note that I said ugly and not creepy.  I still stand by my belief that Elliot Rodgers greatest flaw was that he was too creepy and psychotic to get girls even when he had a stacked deck on his side.  Which leads to likely the most important thing that separates ugly dudes from the weirdos:  having a good heart.

See, contrary to how I may come off on here, anyone who knows me can tell you I have a high capacity to help people and be a good person.  What fucks me up is that I know where I stand on the issue of looks, but certain people in my life keep saying I’m so handsome and would look better if I dressed up more.  Never mind the fact that I work a kitchen job, and when I’m not at work, I really have no need to dress up other than say, a date.  Keep in mind that this person is also 47, has never been married and has 2 kids by two different men.  So her advice is dubious at best.

The fact is, by our mid 20s, the average ugly man has, if their smart, decided to just live life as is and see who we meet along the way.  Dating sites are a nightmare as truth be told, being the ugly dude means your looks enact a bias against you.  There’s not much you can do about it really.  Just live life and be the best you can be.  Best of luck to you.