I Am Sorry for “Face It, Blerds are Better Off Dating Interracial”

By:  H.T.

Let me start this by saying that I apologize on the grounds that I was wrong to assume that black men necessarily need to find love outside their race on the grounds that black women are too problematic.  Factually, this is incorrect and I’ve been shown the error in my ways.

Fact is, I wrote this article from the mindset that dating amongst my generation is endlessly frustrating.  For women it’s lying, conniving men who seek only women that look one particular way but wonder why the women who do look like that treat them like an option among the dozens upon dozens of other men who seek the same thing.  I understand that it’s frustrating to have so much to offer but only end up with subpar men.  But here’s the thing.

The reason I wrote what I wrote is because men of my ilk have a particular fear about affection.  We call it “simping” or being a gump.  The reason guys like me fear this is because it’s humiliating.  Simple as that.  Hell, if you have no intention of being with a man, you have every right to turn him down or never respond.  Just like a woman would not want me to lie to get sex or anything from them, men like me would rather take a short no than a long no after we invested ourselves in someone that didn’t want us.  All I want from each other is honesty.  Now, let me also take this time to state, yes, sometimes one can take the hint.

I got angry when I wrote that because I tire of you all abusing the movie Get Out for jokes about interracial relationships.  Again, you can only make so many sunken place, tea spoon stirring, whatever observation you choose to make about that movie before shit gets old.  Mighty old.  If you wanna make jokes about Jesse lee Peterson being a coon, fine.  But eventually the joke that is, “Ha ha, you must be under mind control to be around all those white people!”  No bruh, I’m actually kinda scared as my girlfriend’s parents live out by a lake in the middle of Bumfuck Egypt.  So I know the deal.  Real talk, every time we have to cross through the areas to get there I see mad Trump signs.

When it comes to the issue of black women, let me start by saying I hate no one and I do not hate black women.  I simply believe that honestly, I don’t fit into the standards for blackness set up for black men these days.  I’m not militant, in fact & in reality, I avoid conflict like a coke dealer avoids the cops.  The issue of masculinity amongst millennials isn’t something I’m built for as it APPEARS to be the idea that masculinity is fragile or toxic seems to be things that I was led to believe was still appealing.  But, maybe that’s where I live.

Maybe all the people I argued with in the comments come from much more progressive ends of the world.  Lansing, MI is very much stuck in 2002 in terms of values.  I’m not even asking for a full course education, just give me examples of what’s toxic masculinity and what’s fragile masculinity.  I ask this out of legitimate confusion as I’ll often see men with toxic masculinity still being popular with women.  Not a joke, can anyone explain how this is still a thing?

I’m apologizing because I’m not sure if at all I accomplished anything with writing that.  I wrote it because it feels like for blerd black men to find love in our own community, it feels like we have to put on a mask just to be seen.  For someone like me, I had to find someone just as awkward as me to find love.  But for me I don’t hate anyone.  I hate that when I was single I couldn’t be anything but who I am and wasn’t getting love from black women.  Did it mean I should have wrote what I wrote?  No.  But my message is simple:

Some black nerd men are just weird, awkward and harmless.  Honestly, not every black man is gonna be swagged out and know what to say.  And confidence?  Look, confidence channels itself in specific ways and I wish people got that about people like me.  I can dress up, I can say all the shit I’m supposed to say, but if my confidence isn’t there, nothing will PUT it there.

I’ll be real with you:  I’ve seen blerd couples get together, but I’ve never seen it outside of the internet.  I will admit my bias comes from a place where blerd men get no fucking play and if they do, rarely is it from black women.  So yes, I have a bias.  My anger comes from the fact that when I was on Twitter, a guy who was the fave of so many blerd women was caught sending dick pics to underage girls and nobody got him out the paint.  So yes, I can learn, but what happens to guys like HIM?

I’m not angry, I hate no one and no one told me to write this.  I wrote this because looking back, I feel like I made a mistake.  I’m sorry.  Take this as you will.