2017’s “Black Girls Rock” is More Important Than Ever

By:  Asher Primus

On August 2, Taraji P. Henson teased the first official promo for 2017’s Black Girls Rock.  The scene depicted a carefree house party where black youths were dancing and having fun.  Henson narrated the theme as a space where black women and girls need to love and be loved through “real love”, “tough love” and “black love”.

She defines black love as revolutionary and that it could be used to combat fear, lies and hatred.  I know the Hoteps will rebuttal in saying, “How can you be in support of Black Girls Rock, it’s a feminist agenda?!”  Yes, this may be true, but I cannot deny that black women need constructive dialogue, even if we are not in the room.

2017, has been a rough year for black women.  It started bad once Serena Williams announced her engagement to Alexis Ohanian.  Black men attacked her for betraying her black supporters.  Unlike white males, we never called out her name in comparison to a man or ape.  Then there was the controversy with Ricky Smiley’s son and the viral comment claiming that black women are “uncoachable”.

The Bachlorette featured its first black love interest and multitudes of races battles to win Rachel’s heart.  Despite how broken, black people feel rejected by their own; we all just want love.

I do not want to see fucked scenarios where black women throw and sacrifice themselves for a man that does not love her back.  White reality shows put black women on front street as oversexed and still not finding love in the process.  Yet, when  2017’s Black Girls Rock premiers, that does not mean I am going to go easy.

For starters, I want to know if black women really love themselves.  I do not need to go all “Tommy Sotomayor”, but how important is fake hair and other add-ons that are disposable.  It bothers me to see black women expose their assets for likes and followings.  Most Instagram models are not their own followers.  It gets old and even pathetic because despite seeing a grown woman pose half-naked there is a shattered girl inside who tells herself that she does not deserve love.  If this is feminism, then we do not need it for black women and girls.  Therefore, I am not a fan of black culture.  It is toxic.

Black men are expected to have swag, muscularly built and savage AF.  As for black women, black people expect the them to have big asses and thighs.  Since we watch so much television, we forget what is real and plastic.  Black women pressure themselves to be the jezebel as many black women alternate their bodies.  Some would argue that body alterations like having a big butt attracts high status black men, but there is more to the insecurity.  I do not care of the perception that black men are picky in choosing women.  Black men have always had open arms for women (not just black) who are short, tall, plus-size, disabled, skinny or whatever phenotype.  Black men are the most open, receptive and forgiving.  We been singing and rapping on how we valued natural bodies.

Tough Love

When it comes to tough love, this means we have to open Pandora’s box and reveal the skeletons in the closets.  Unlike black men like Tommy Sotomayor, there are those who critique black women in hopes that they will learn from their mistakes.  When we (as in black men) say we do not like the attitude and the belittling of our manhood that does not translate to “We are going to white women.”  Black men and even grandmothers look in disgust with how the black community has fallen.  We have taken their sacrifices for granted.  Tough love is getting our daughters back, but most importantly, understanding what this type of love looks like and it should never be used in disguise for abuse.  We all need a talk and to take note of our experiences, even the black man’s analysis is imperfect, but we do know what we want.  As much as we hassle our sons to pull up their pants our girls need a lesson on dress codes.  Leggings and tights are not pants.  We need shame in the community again.  We allowed white people and black celebrities to augment parenting as to where kids are running wild.  Our parenting skills suck.  Single mothers need to date based off of substance and class so your daughters could at least have an idea of what a responsible man looks like.  Stop worrying about your sex life being boring.  Do you think Indian women are hung up over sex appeal because their men are nerdy and not wearing the latest fashion trends?  No, their community and family are important and this is why other races are light-years ahead of us.  They practice shame and tough love.  Despite the need for it, African Americans have a god-complex that they are beyond reproach based off their gender.

Black Love

Let’s be honest, black love is not rewarded to everyone even if they feel deserving of it.  I am aware that I am not attracted to certain women, but that notion does not mean those women do not deserve love.  As I have stated before, black men are the most accepting in dating.  We can look past almost anything.  Black men were raised to accept black women’s imperfections to grow with them.  The issue is that black men do not get the same treatment.  On television, we see black love as both positive and negative.  We big-up the Obama’s as the perfect black couple, but how many black women/girls are even attracted to a Barack before the title of becoming President.  The reality is that black love is the edge drama depicted on Love & Hip-Hop as we see black men manipulate women into falling love with them.  These men play on the heart strings that being a “ride or die” chick is a real woman, meanwhile black men who are doing good from the start and are not players are called lames who cannot handle a woman’s sexuality.  Black women then go on talk shows hosted by white men airing out their dirty laundry and pleading for a “good” black man to appear from the sky, otherwise she will have to stay with the “bad” guy because no one will love her and her man needs someone to keep him off the streets to become a father.  I hate seeing black women fall for this because black men end up becoming a charity case.

Real Love

The reality of black love erases the blerd.  We do not hate black women for the 100th time.  The issue is that our mothers and female teachers lied to us in saying that we were the new definition of black manhood and that the good black man has finally arrived, when in reality this “new” black boy was the exact opposite in what black women are attracted to and now we have the problem of “good” black men running to the arms of Becky.  If Black Girls Rock is serious about black love then teach black girls to be inclusive to direct them in loving boys who have a potential to contribute to society, their race and family.  We need to destroy the image of the black man as a thug, player and deadbeat and do the same for our daughters.  Black girls should no longer search for love in the bed that they do not know.  I have seen black feminists present incomplete solutions on how to save our girls from destructive programming that entertains violence and obscene sexuality.  If you do not want your daughter to be the next guest on Maury or become a reality star on Love & Hip-Hop then we need to provide jobs that are desirable and pay more than sex work.  They need careers that highlight their minds over their bodies.