After talking with the friend I wrote another article about, I think at the very least I owe a personal clarification on my article that apparently 16,000 people & counting have read.
First and foremost, I’m not anti-black women dating interracial. In fact, I’m a proponent of it. I think that the politics of the black community kind of kills love between us. Basic love for one another has transformed to worship of one another, black men as being so-called builders and women demanding we worship them as deities. Frankly, the lack of humility in dealing with each other makes it so I think only a select few can work in terms of personality.
I wrote this article BECAUSE I see that blerd men are expected to essentially worship women in the community, and any individual critique of a woman in it is viewed as an attack on ALL women. We have to be pro the idea of race bending, especially if it’s bending to a black woman, and above all men are expected to make blerd spaces a “safe space” which feels more like watering down discussions to not hurt feelings, which is why I feel many blerd spaces (much like social justice) has resorted to promoting censorship, obtuseness, and ultimately hypocrisy which has lead to valuing emotion over comfortable facts.
But many of you say, “Oh, you must be unlikable, insecure, you’re just mad black women don’t like you.”, and my personal favorites, “Well I’m married to a blerd.” or “None of the blerds checked for me.” Well let me address them. First thing to understand about me: in my hometown of Lansing, MI which has about 114,000 citizens give or take, black people make up at least 20% of the population, and of that percentage about 8% are mixed race people who identify as black. So it’s safe to say I’ve grown up seeing interracial relationships as just a normal part of life.
“You’re unlikable.” Fair enough, but I can tell you all first hand that there’s a lot of unlikable people out here both male and female that get by off of being attractive or politically aligned with said people. Seriously, as I said before, a lotta social justice vloggers and Twitter figures are gorgeous, but have the personality of a trench knife. At the same time, they have a right to be unlikable. Just as I do. My grandfather told me that when you change yourself just to attract a woman, always remember that anyone that loves you for what you became and not what you actually are doesn’t actually love YOU. This was echoed by my grandmothers, my aunts, my great-aunts, my uncles, my great-uncles, & my godfather. Literally the only person who told me I needed to change was my mother, a woman with 2 kids and has never been married. Most of the people telling me to be myself were either popular with the opposite sex or were married for at a minimum 20-30 years.
“You’re insecure and black women don’t like you.” Look, I’ve dated black women. One tried to kill me. Another was a sweet girl, but fact was in terms of roles in the relationship, expectations for a future together (I wanted to eventually move out of this godforsaken state, she wanted to stay here with her family) and religious reasons (she’s southern baptist, I guess I’d be called a skeptical agnostic) it wasn’t gonna work. The rest just either started fucking my friends.
“Blerd men didn’t want me.” Look, speaking as an ugly dude, chances are you just weren’t attractive to them. Sorry, be mad if you must, but that’s likely what happened.
I should also take this time to point out that most if not all the dudes who back up all you hating blerd women are huge losers that you found use for by way of echoing your opinions. Fact is, the only difference between me and them is that I refused to CONTINUE drinking the Kool-Aid and making excuses for the lot of you who create the mental gymnastics to excuse the hypocrisy that is your stance on interracial relationships (I’m the bad guy for my article, but white guy Spider-Man and Zendaya is so cute) and the fact a lot of you just make bad pussy decisions but write it off as “loving the arts” or being carefree. But of course sad men like Johnny Simps-A-Lot in the comments will always jump to defend you.
The reason I wrote that blerd men should date everyone except blerd women is based on the perception of blerds to potentially find mates. In short, blerd men are expected to almost divorce ourselves from our nerdiness in any readily noticeable way to be appealing, or it at least appears that way in the advice we constantly are given.
I think the ultimate point I think I could make is that I said blerd men, ALONG with blerd women should consider interracial dating as these occurrences are the cause of the narrow paradigm of blackness. Blerd men are ostracized because black men are expected to walk around with a, dare I say it, hypermasculine persona, which is why black nerdy men are often limited in dating. This paradigm affects blerd women as online dating has been proven to have bias against black women, but add the fact that yes, black nerds are viewed as less aggressive and thus more appealing to white, or at least anti-blackness sensibilities, and this is why it at least appears blerd women have it easier.
I wrote what I wrote because frankly the deck seems stacked against blerd men. Between annoying little shits like Jason Black labeling us traitors for being happy and not overly obsessed with what racist white people think, black nerd spaces where we’re expected to never debate ideas being thrown about or be labeled “gatekeepers” and “ashy”, and the black community’s need to at best make blerds conform to the image of blackness that ironically white people profit from perpetuating; I think it might be best if blerd men at least sought love in environments that weren’t already hostile to them.
At no point are any of us required to adhere to your standards about what black men should be if we want to be appealing, and yes me and many men like me will continue to voice our opinions. No amount of derelict activism AKA “wokeness” will shut me up. If this offends you, then consider yourself offended. I at no point owe anyone an apology for what I said or think. Life does not work like that on social media where some overarching nanny state can come in and amscray me because I hurt your feelings.
God bless America and the First Amendment.
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