Face It, Blerd Men are Better Off Dating Interracial

By:  H.T. (@Gees3Howard)

In the time since my appearance on BLE, I actually have taken Gil & company’s advice and now I’m a month into a happy relationship with my girlfriend Jacqueline.  As I sit here writing this, I often think, “Why don’t other blerds just find love too?”  Fact is, I think as Asher Primus put it, blerd men are kinda shit on as far as the marketability in dating.  Damn what that incompetent fuck Jason Black or Tariq Nasheed has to say about blerds, fact is, black nerds catch shit because apparently the narrative for black men and black masculinity is still stuck in the goddamn 70s, so now any black man that doesn’t look like the cast of Three the Hard Way is now less than human.

What black men are supposed to be like in 2017.

As far as dating goes, because clearly it’s the norm now to only date a guy for admittedly shallow reasons, blerd men are kinda dicked, as Asher put it, blerd men tend to be raised to have manners, decency and generally act right in the age of dirty niggas with no jobs smacking and pulling guns on chicks being the main ones getting text backs, the shit seems stacked.  But it isn’t even as simple as just THAT.

To be fair, if all your crushes curved you for this, you’d be mad too.

The typical asked question to black nerds is, “Well why don’t you just date nerdy black women?”  Well, there’s a problem with that too.  See, first, even IF said blerd girl still dates black dudes, chances are she’s one of those weird hipsters that will very likely shit test you into submission by slowly but surely emasculating you.  It starts with your clothes, then what you listen to, then what you watch, before you know it, you’re a carefree black boy making your avi on social media be you with a flower crown and lip gloss and you’re on social media talking about how men are trash.  The other alternative is the more obvious one, but it’s also the one black nerds walk on eggshells dealing with.

The fact is that a great deal of black nerd women don’t date black men.  The excuse they make is, “But black men never wanted me.”   No….all the black men YOU wanted didn’t want you.  Get it right.  Face it, I have NEVER seen a blerd girl who said black dudes didn’t talk to her that either:   A) lived in an area where there were almost no other black people or B) was holding out for a guy who clearly wasn’t into her to like her.  The problem isn’t that it’s black women dating outside their race, the problem is that after a while you start to realize where your not wanted.  And this is where my argument comes in.

Fact is, blerds are at a disadvantage as even the so called “pick mes” don’t want us as clearly we don’t fit their standards either.  Beyond that, blerd men are faced with being not an option, emasculated or are to stuff ourselves into some hotep ass identity to attract some chick who likely has a bunch of guys telling her that the black woman is god and PayPaling her money.

This is where I say that black nerd men should date explicitly outside the black community.  Yeah, I said it.  Face it, the black community for the most part doesn’t take us seriously.  And black women in the general age bracket of most single blerd men are still in their “men are trash” phase and frankly guys like @____PantheR ,@TheodoreFusion_ , Kriss from MTR Studios Podcast Network aren’t helping that end any time soon.  Fact is, black men should view it more as exploring our options rather than as betraying black women.

Why are any of us expected to just sit on standby just because ONE group of women don’t seem to want us?  What, because some guy who claims to be a doctor says only black women will understand our struggle?  What struggle?  The average black nerd’s struggle isn’t even racism so much as it’s being ostracized from the black community, nerd communities and now even black nerd communities as now black men are attacked in women-led black nerd circles as being toxic; but let some random Asian dude with a six pack who likes black girls or some white guy with a soulful voice that can sing Frank Ocean show up, and suddenly he’s bae.

Or just tweet stuff like this.

If anything, a white nerd girl would get you more than anyone else as most nerd circles in general don’t welcome women, and black nerd women get away with drinking “white women tears” but apparently misogynoir or whatever is different and worse because “the black woman is the most disrespected woman on the face of the earth.”  No, this applied back when it was said.  NOW it’s being co-opted by women who use it to excuse shit like the annoying thoughts and antics of people like Crissle from The Read.

I simply disagree with the belief that black nerd men need to meet a certain level of attractiveness or to conform to some standard of dress, conversation, interests or personality.  Honestly anyone that demands you conform to their standards to even potentially be considered as a mate is very likely someone who was never interested in YOU, but rather what you could do for THEM.  Fact is, if someone really wants you, contrivances can be made and should be made.  The path of changing yourself for a woman quite literally ends with you giving up your dignity, integrity, and confidence for someone who can leave at anytime and leave you to have to pick up the pieces.  So I assure you, don’t listen to anyone that tells you that you need to conform.  I know too many men who kept it 100 every day and are happy.  Don’t sell yourself for someone else.

Accept that once you free yourself from the judgements of others, understand that many of the elders that taught you to forgo your happiness in dating for the sake of the black community will likely die without facing the consequences of their agendas, and that there’s really nothing peoples’ opinions of you can really impact in your life beyond what you let it impact.  The fact is that you will see that finding true love can happen.  Just remember this one thing:  everyone who will judge you for going into interracial dating will likely either be very miserable, jealous or so self-righteous to the point of being ineffective.  Best of luck to you.