One of the oldest tropes in dating since social media came into play was that black men, particularly nerdy black men, complain that women often reject them for thugs and the like. Let me start by saying the obvious points: all the women tend to want thugs and this is really a problem that only seems to affect people in their early 20s. That being said, both points play into why this is still a talking point.
For one, as one woman who wrote into BLE said, black men tend to flock towards the Instagram models and the like over actual “good” women. But here’s the thing: I can say for a fact that me and many men like me have stories of said good women being just as judgy, if not more so than the models. See, one of the running jokes about so-called “pick me’s” is that while the slut walkers of the world will fuck anyone who tickles their fancy, the “pick me’s” want far, FAR too much. See, as I’ve said before, ugly men are the most viable option if you’re looking for a provider and a good father to kids. A man with looks rarely if ever needs money or even a personality, and a guy who can charm his way into a woman’s pants regardless of money or looks is almost a public danger. But an ugly man HAS to develop character or at least get money if he ever wants to reproduce. Pick me’s often don’t understand this and will often give either good looking or charming men the first shot over men who are legit good men but aren’t the best looking.
Many will ask, well why don’t men just lower their standards in looks? It’s not that men don’t ALWAYS do that, though some do set the bar too high. It’s that guys can settle, we all learn to settle, but fact is settling for the average guy is usually this:
But the conventional wisdom of “woke” black women is we’re hating black women for not praising this:And because we don’t want that, they assume all we want is this:
Truth is, men learn to settle early in life. The only ones who don’t either tend to be the highly attractive or the highly wealthy. But this goes to the second point: people don’t learn to settle till it’s too late.
The reason overall that black men get mad about women’s refusal to just get with a good guy at his ascension or when you can tell they just want to play games is that we all pay for it in the end. Either these chicks stay hitting us up on social media years later in the hopes that we are at least stable & will give her a shot now that she can’t attract the usuals or hope we’re still keeping that torch lit for her. Either one is bad.
Bad because in the end, the guys who fall for this shit quite honestly lower the bar for what’s tolerable in a mate later in life. As I said before, men can settle on a woman with a lot of problems, but when it’s clear as day you’re dealing with a whore who likely will wind up pregnant as a result of getting “closure” with her ex, this is a problem. The problem being that men hate this trend because in time, the dating pool gets narrowed down to the unlikable, the uncaring or just the unfaithful. Fact is, this type of behavior is becoming the norm and guys are hip to the game these days and know this ends with some poor sap who doesn’t know your history parading you around and being the laughing stock of her peers.
So when you get that “hey big head” message in a few years, remember this article.
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