I Am a N!gga Nerd. Deal With It.

Onyx Contributor:  H.T. (@Gees3Howard)

A lot of you since my appearance on Jason Black’s broadcast seem to think I, like many nerds like me, seem to need to feel bad and apologize for being a nerd because, as Jason and his fans put it, black nerds are just coons for identifying with white heroes over black real life activists.

Let me start by saying that most of the heroes I look up to few and between are white.  Beyond that you get heroes like Storm, Black Panther, Blade, John Stewart (Green Lantern), Connor Hawke, Night Thrasher, Black Lightning, Amanda Waller, Bumblebee, Aqualad, Misty Knight, Miles Morales, Cyborg, Static shock, Blue Marvel…

My point is, you all THINK I only like comics to worship white heroes, but that’s all you SEE upfront.  Fact is, there are plenty black heroes that “nigga nerds” like me love, but of course, y’all can’t just have fun.  To y’all “super woke” black people, black men & women who enjoy nerd culture are coons trying to find a niche place for themselves and all the black women are bed wenches looking for a white daddy.

You all have this honest to god narrow idea of what being a functioning adult means that you really are convinced that the stereotype that all nerds must live in our moms basement and have a nonexistent sex life is universal because everyone YOU know wouldn’t suffer such people to live.

Which kinda ties back to what I said about many of your stances on Black Panther.  By all accounts and observations, to people like Jason Black, black empowerment must still fit within western ideals, meaning that even if it’s a black face on it, it must still be something that white westerners can appreciate but still feel no real threat by.  Face it, a guy like Black Panther scares white people far more than Luke Cage as a super strong indestructible black man as at the end of the day, a rich white man can buy himself out of his omnipresent issues and even pay to have him labeled the bad guy if need be.  Black Panther scares white people because he answers to no white power structure and never will.  To the powers that be, Black Panther IS a black power fantasy as he is not contained by white western society’s economic, political or social demands.  He is what black freedom TRULY looks like.

I know plenty about black history, which is why I became a fan of Black Panther.  I know of Muammar Gaddafi before his country was plunged into chaos by the CIA attempting to centralize Africa’s wealth AWAY from the west.  I know that the Black Panther Party for Self Defense went through a period where Huey wanted to be peaceful while Eldridge was in Algeria teaching guerrilla warfare.

I know Mutulu Shakur, stepfather to Tupac, went to prison for fighting to get, at best, would keep his free clinic open that helped black men and women get off drugs.  I know Freeway Ricky Ross, the ACTUAL drug dealer, was used as a pawn by the CIA to deal drugs in South Central despite numerous press reports showing what the influx to said communities did to us in an effort to support a proxy war in Nicaragua.

I know that every black armed revolutionary organization that has EVER existed was systematically disassembled by the FBIs COINTELPRO, but to this day, I live in a state where both the KKK and COUNTLESS white supremacist militias exists unencumbered by the federal government.

Black people have gone missing because of these people, black people refuse to go to parts of AMERICA, let alone my state because of these people.  It literally takes them not paying taxes or selling guns illegally for the government to break them up, even after Oklahoma City happened.  But they expect us to fear Islamic terrorists more than the ones that exist and hour from me.

Yeah, but I’m a coon for not knowing where Malcolm X was born.  I can find that out anytime, but as the days go by with Trump as President, it becomes harder to truly know what dangers black people face TODAY.

I read comics, play video games, watch TV shows and movies within nerd culture because I need an escape that makes me feel strong and gives me hope that despite all that stands before black people and just myself, there’s always a chance to win.  Even just a little bit.

Fact is, people like Jason Black and Tariq Nasheed have this idea that black nerds can only get fat white girls or no one at all.  But I ask, SO?  So what?  So what we’re not out here swimming in pussy and winning the adoration of a bunch of random women we won’t remember in a few years?  Again, this goes to what I was saying:  the idea y’all have for what black men are supposed to be isn’t EVERYONE’S ideal.

As I said myself, I think even the so-called “woke blerds” are shitty too as they have the idea that black men are supposed to hate and emasculate ourselves to make up for the injustices to women.  But you all think were supposed to just give up what we enjoy because it’s viewed as “childish”.  Look, as long as I can pay my bills, have my own place to stay and take care of myself, no amount of pressure or being labeled a coon will move me from what I enjoy.  For as much as you all love to rail on about how we really aren’t about that fight against white supremacy, you all act as though it’s a fight that can be won.  At best, we could get legislation about the cops, but y’all really think shit will one day look like France in 1793; it just won’t.  Let it go.

In closing, I will simply say this:  I owe none of you an apology.  I owe no one an explanation.  No black nerd does.  To believe I’d be “woker” if I just repeated the same talking points as all of you and fell into the same hive mind tells me that all of you are more worried about the threat to your collective thoughts than some black dude reading Batman comics.

You’re all miserable, angry and too woke to function.  I am at least happy.