Black Boys Are Told to be Builders When It Is Too Late

Onyx Contributor:  Asher Primus

For those into the black sector of YouTube, terms like ‘builder,’ ‘patriarchy’ and ‘infrastructure’ would sound familiar.  For decades the conscious community has broken down on why African Americans are behind compared to other races.  Some theorize the destruction was an end to the invasion of feminism, drugs, preachers and of course all under the control of white supremacy.  Others blame ourselves as we watch Asians and Middle Easterners set up shop in the black community, while they live in the suburbs as far away from black people.  This leads to the finger pointing on who is to blame for the lack of leadership:  black men or women.  Men should be leading in the household and controlling the economy of their district.  It sounds easy in theory, but zoning and districts are mostly black and white.  Black neighborhoods are generally poverty-stricken, while we envision white communities as heaven and a retreat from the outside reality.

Today’s black boys are the last hope for the ideal black patriarchal community that bother black men who claim that they want it (according to the complaints on YouTube).  Yet, in the real world, no one wants patriarchy or knows what it is.  For starters, black boys hate the black community as it is a cesspool of pain and misery from the violence that is fueled by ignorance and the hatred of blackness in general.  Street dudes may want to live a ghetto fabulous lifestyle, but they are too comfortable with the slow and easy day-by-day atmosphere.  When they do get money, they rather flaunt it around in hopes to get robbed by another angry black man.  Black nerds are not pro-black either and could care less about what is going on in the hood.  They did not forget the bullying and isolation that they faced.  What bothers them the most is that they are never an option for black women, even though they are hyped up to believe that they are the alpha males because they are new, have a clean record and educated.  No one is inspired to live there.  Most people want to leave.  Building a community requires both tangible and intangible things.  They need to understand that they are their brothers’ keepers.  Sadly, black men are not seen as protectors as also black women also lose truth in their own men.  So, what are black men are going to do about it?

This generation of black boys are not a lost cause, but I have noticed that women keep them in a stagnant state.  Women, now hold on, I am not saying they are to blame entirely for the state of black men and community, but hear me out.  The problem is the concept of women.  Black men seem to only live for women and sex, even those who are single and not sexually active; women are the only motivation.  We put too much too much energy on getting the baddest bitch on Instagram.  There are a lot of talking heads on the ‘Black Manosphere’ of YouTube who waste hours debating and shadowboxing women that they are not attracted to and opting out dating norms like who is going to pay for the date.  Sorry brothers, the topic has been talked about enough, it is not worth an 8 hour Google Hangout.  Black men get too emotional over women whom they do not like, know or care.  I have to question black men because they talk about ‘building’ too vaguely or that they feel they have mastered their trade and now they have privilege to ramble about gender-baiting nonsense.

Now women in general are not perfect and they did a good job in contributing to lack of productivity of black men.  The ‘thug’ image is the most hated, but it is a guilty pleasure to embody because it works.  We have gotten accustomed to the sagging pants, fake chain wearing bad boy who could give a less of a damn about school or living up to a respectable standard.  They are chosen by black women because bad boys are edgy and have the confidence to disrespect them knowing that women will like them no matter what they do or say.  On the flip side, they bring drama and pain or do not bring anything tangible to the table.  Unfortunately, black women’s curse of failed relationships have become a trademark of black womanhood.  Instead of dating better, they just want to re-invent the bad boys or expect well-to-do black men to be quiet on why they are not choosing them.

I am not implying good black men should be treated as kings, but we deserve respect into the work that we put in our crafts.  There is going to be a breaking point where black women will have to make dating decisions based off of finding the best of black men on the standards of intelligence, finances and power.  I am tired of women on television telling black men to ‘man up’ when they are raised by matriarchs who teach their sons that education means nothing and that their focus should be on sports, sex and swag.

At times, I do get heated at black women like Sophia Nelson who are not completely honest on the gender problems in our community.  It is good that she acknowledges that mothers are coddling their sons intentionally to fail in life & black fathers should have fought harder to gain custody for their children.  Now this is where Sophia Nelson and other black women on YouTube get wrong; they fail to teach their daughters how to date black men or they bait their daughters to date non-black men.  Like I said earlier, the bad boys know they are winning so they are not going to change up for women when the formula is perfect.  Dating a black men when he is broke is not revolutionary or black loyalty, it just makes well-to-do black men feel even more unwanted.

The solution for black boys is to tell them that they have a responsibility for not just their family, but community.  No more pipe dreams of being a pro-athlete or the next black Scarface, we need businessmen and positive leaders in the community.  Not these old geezers who only show up in the streets because ‘Jamal’ got shot and killed.  The new black leaders need to be able to provide jobs and better living conditions.  Overall, the real reason why black boys are not ‘building’ is because we were not told that there was a problem in the first place.