The Great Black Nerd Fallacy on Gender Wars: The Uncomfortable Truth

Onyx Contributor:  H.T. (@517NightHawk), Podcast:  Lansing Anti-Hero

After saying both perspectives on men & women’s love lives within black nerdom, I think the big question needs to be answered:  why don’t black nerd men & women just get together?  Well, the answer is simple, though not very woke and mighty problematic.

The truth is, black nerd men seek more traditional relationships as opposed to a lot of our peers.  As much as it sounded like I was shitting on black men in my first article, truth is I do kind of see where the motivation is coming from.  As I said in the second, we have to honestly contend with an image of men that really only exists in our heads.  Fact is, the REASON so many black men go after non-black women for relationships more often than not is because all we want is a relationship that’s not complicated:  we’re monogamous, we spend time together, we indulge in our hobbies together, we grow together and hopefully we stay together.

Now you’re asking, well don’t black women want this?  Well, keep in mind that as far as black nerd men have seen, this is becoming the norm amongst us:

Fact is, as flawed as men in general are, at least some of us aren’t buying into this new age BS of let’s leave men with no real purpose in a relationship.  Frankly because the guys that do tend to sound like this:


Fact is, nerdom in general has always been filled with anti-blackness, but when people realized that there was money at the intersection of social justice and nerdom, this is how we got to where black men became the bad guys.  We became the villains in black nerdom because as time went on and masculinity was viewed as fragile, this is how we got these moist ass motherfuckers like the one seen above.  People wanted to make it in black nerd culture who are men.  But because the perception is that black men have the most privileged in the black community and the only men who are getting ahead are basically dedicating a section of their content to how black men are so awful and that we must become better humans for our women, this is how the divide between men and women in black nerdom grows.

When it comes to black nerds like myself, we choose to follow the unpopular opinion that you can’t generalize black men on the whole as frankly these are issues bigger than any of us.  People really do expect us to right a wrong with human nature because some blog on Tumblr said it needs to change.  Speaking of Tumblr, this goes into why black nerd women don’t tend to date black nerd men anymore.

See, log onto Tumblr and look at what most blogs tend to post:  K-Pop stars, artist renditions that tend to show black female characters with non-black male characters, and blogs that probably support the idea that black men are bad because we have the most privilege amongst black people.  Never mind that as far as police brutality goes, WE die more.  But sure, WAY more privilege because white men relate to us more.  Never mind that at any point we can wind up dead or in jail if he or any white woman around us feels threatened by me.  Never mind that smart black men have HISTORICALLY scared white racists.  But yes, WOW so much privilege.

Which is how Asian men became the unsung champions of black nerd women.  Asian men traditionally are conditioned for aspiring to be family men, to support families and in the age of #MasculinitySoFragile, that nasty little tendency of the west to kind of emasculate Asian men plays right into people who think regular stuff that men think and do is #ToxicMasculinity.

Look at the media black nerd men & women tend to consume.  It’s always a giant power fantasy for men and a middle finger to some guy for women.  Truth is, black men and women within black nerdom will likely never on a grand scale come to terms with the fact that we want two different things at once.  We want to be like our fathers and lead the household.  They want to be goddamn Misty Knight.

Sure, no one OWES anyone their hopes and dreams, but you can’t with a straight face sit here and tell me that the great discourse between black nerds by gender is that we’re basically dealing with one side living out their middle school girl power fantasies on social media while blaming everything on a few shitty men and getting mad when we point out that they’re focusing on a vocal minority while forcing another vocal minority to be their yes men?

The uncomfortable truth is that black nerd men and women frankly just need to come to terms with the fact that once they decided to sell black men down the river for some sad Tumblerinnias manifesto, this is how we got where we are.  I’ll say it once, I’ll say it again:  these simp ass black nerds calling themselves trash won’t last forever.  Let even ONE of them start getting love from a woman who’s not one of ya’ll, they’re gone.  Watch.  You’ve basically set up a subculture of men with no sense of history.  And this is what you’ve gotten.

Congrats, black nerd women.  You got your wish.  This is the arbiter you created.  Bon Appétit.

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