How To Know If You Are Failing As a Man & As a Father

Any man can produce a child, but that doesn’t mean that he is qualified to raise that child.  Hell, in a few years my oldest son will be old enough to father a kid (let’s pray that doesn’t happen).  So just because my oldest can squirt out some man-juice, does that make him capable of being a father?  Hell no.  Unfortunately, it’s a lot of dudes way older than my son (probably some older than me too) that are just utter failures at manhood & fatherhood.  Here’s a quick list to see if you fit the description of being a complete disgrace to manhood/fatherhood.

1.  If the only thing that you have to pass down to your kids is your Jordan & Gucci belt collection, you are a failure.

Seriously, if you actually had the nerve to impregnate a chick with the hopes of becoming some child’s father & your biggest accomplishment to date is your shoe & belt collection, kill yourself.  A man who fathers children (along with actively raising these kids) should be doing everything within his financial power to acquire assets to be passed down to his children that they can benefit from in the future.  You know…the same shit a lot of white people to do build generational wealth.  Your obsessive need for the latest footwear & belts is not about to set you OR your kids up for success.  Sure you may be the most stylish looking knee grow on the block, but what point does being stylish serve if your fetish with style produces no type of income?  Do you know who’s actually benefitting off of your Jordan & Gucci belt collection?  Jordan & his damn kids are benefitting along with the person who started Gucci; their families are benefitting off of your obsessive need to wear Jordans & skinny jeans that sag to purposely display a Gucci belt.  Not you.  “B-b-but, what if I own stock?”  Nigga shut up.  You don’t.

2.  If you “proudly” feel the need to let the world know that you take care of your kids, you are a failure.

Taking care of the kids you helped to create shouldn’t be an activity worth bragging about in order to rack up some social media likes or boy scout badges.  Taking care of your kids is what the fuck you are supposed to do.  Period.  The only people who feel a need to justify to the world that they are taking care of their kids are more than likely knee grows who actually aren’t taking care of their kids.  Out of all of the grown ass men that I know who actually do take care of their  kids, I’ve yet to recall any type of conversation where this responsible grown man felt that he had to let me know that he was taking care of his kids.  These are not the types of conversations responsible men who actually take care of their kids tend to have.  We can look at each other & look at our kids and we just automatically know.  You know how gay people have “gaydar” for identifying other gay people, fathers who actually take care of their kids have this thing called “I don’t have to prove to you that I’m taking care of my kids so I can feel like I’m actually accomplishing something in life that I’m supposed to be doing in the first damn place”-dar.  We just know it’s happening when it’s happening.

3.  If your daddy taught you that having a lot of damn kids by multiple women makes you a man…he failed you & you are a failure.

I was listening to a song the other day on YouTube called “Wat U Mean (Family To Feed)” by Atlanta rapper named Dae Dae.  The opening to the video is him giving some sort of monologue where he states:

“I’m 23 with 5 kids and I never complained once.  They were my responsibility & I got to take care of them.  My daddy taught me well, he say ‘Always take care of your responsibility, cause they didn’t ask to be here.  You got a family to feed.'”

I found that line rather interesting because I’m just going to assume that Dae Dae has multiple baby mamas.  Seriously, I don’t know of any 23 YEAR OLD DUDE that has 5 kids by the same woman.  That doesn’t even seem realistic these days.  You don’t know anybody like that either, so stop lying to yourself.  But the real issue here is one father teaching his son to basically be a serial impregnator as if racking up the most babies at the earliest age is somehow commendable man/father behavior.  What’s really sad is that when you venture off into the hood where most of these serial impregnators tend to hunt, it’s really only a handful of these dudes in every hood in America.  These serial impregnators are the main ones running up the 70% and higher out-of-wedlock birthrate in Black society.  Basically what I’m saying is, the vast majority of these babies running around in Black society that have no father in their lives, more than likely they were created by a serial impregnator who spent his early productive years jumping from woman to woman squirting man-juice up in them as if he couldn’t control himself.  Most Black men do not run around trying to impregnate every chick with a fat ass that they see, it’s really just a small percentage of Black men across the country who feel it is their civic duty to Black society to keep the population numbers multiplying.  Seriously, you know who these niggas are, so stop pretending like I’m making this up.  You know damn well you know a knee grow right now with about 7 or 8 kids by about 7 or 8 different women.  Hell, these niggas are probably your cousins or brothers or worse…your own damn sons running around doing this.  Either way, these niggas are complete failures for simply thinking that producing more babies somehow represents manhood, yet grossly failing to realize that if he feels that he MUST have a child, find 1 woman & make that shit work with her & put all of your energy into being a father towards the kid/s that you produce with HER.  I mean, honestly how effective of a father can you really be if you have a flock of kids by a bunch of damn women?  You can’t.  Some kid is going to suffer & grow up to repeat the process you indirectly taught him about becoming a serial impregnator.