Your Momma Was Probably Getting Her Back Blown Out To A Busta Rhymes Song

I hate young people between the ages of 15 through about 25.  Well, I don’t really hate them, I just hate their views on all things involving hip hop.   You know why I hate young people’s views on hip hop?  Young people honestly think that old heads like me (I’m in my mid 30s by the way) don’t know anything about hip hop music.  For some damn reason young people think that hip hop was born yesterday.  They think because I can’t relate to Young Thug, The Migos, or whomever the latest “hot nigga” type of rapper is out that I don’t know anything about hip hop.

Hey young person reading this….Fuck you.

Think about this young person reading this:

  1. I was literally born into hip hop.  Literally.  I’m an 80s baby.
  2. My earliest memories of music was hip hop period.  My uncles stayed playing Run DMC, Doug E. Fresh, LL Cool J, & others when I was at that stage in my life when I was still pissing on myself in the middle of the night.
  3. I was wearing high-top fades back in the late 80s.  Going into the early 90s I was wearing my hear faded with the high-top portion twisted up.  Meanwhile you’re just now discovering this.
  4. I was actually a full conscious human being going through puberty when Nas dropped Illmatic.
  5. My very first rap CD I ever bought with my own money was Outkast’s Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik.
  6. I remember the Wu-Tang Clan when they were truly nothing to fuck with.  Like for real for real.
  7. I remember the first time I heard Master P’s Ice Cream Man & said to myself, “This super country ass nigga is about to take over rap.”
  8. I remember when Biggie Smalls had gold teeth.
  9. I remember when Tupac was just a no name background singer/dancer for Digital Underground.
  10. I remember what Lil’ Kim looked like when she actually looked like a Black woman.
  11. I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news of Tupac being killed.
  12. I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news of Biggie being killed.
  13. I remember when Snoop Dogg could actually rap.
  14. I remember when Jay Z’s career skyrocketed after Biggie died.
  15. I remember when Akinyele was telling your momma to just shut up & put it in her mouth.

Point is young person, don’t ever fix your mouth to tell me that I don’t know anything about hip hop.  I lost my virginity to Busta Rhymes’ “Woo Ha” while it was playing on Rap City.  Matter of fact, if you were born in 1995 or later, there’s a chance a nigga around my age had your mother bent over in doggy style beating them guts away while the great summer anthem “You’re All I Need To Get By” by Method Man & Mary J. Blige was booming in the background.

Your favorite mulatto.

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