How Old Were You When You Got Your First “Ni@@er Wake Up Call”?

Somebody posted an interesting status update that popped up on my Facebook timeline today.  The status update read…

“I’m 39 years old and I got my first Nigger wake up call when I was 13 and I didn’t listen.  I got my 2nd call at 18, and woke up my ass up.  At what age did you wake up?”

At what age did you wake up?

Interesting question.  Interesting question indeed.  As much as I discuss race on this site & have used the phrase “nigger wake up call”, I don’t believe I’ve ever addressed when I experienced my first nigger wake up call.  Truth be told, it’s probably countless Black people who don’t ever really talk about their first time encountering racism.

In my situation, I’ve never had an official “nigger wake up call”.  My very first lesson about racism that I can remember (aside from being constantly told that no matter how light I am, I will always be viewed as Black) happened to me when I was about 4 years old & the lesson just happened to have come from my late grandfather.  Now I don’t really remember much about my life at the age of 4, but for some reason this memory never left my mind.  I was sitting on my granddad’s bed eating snacks & watching cartoons.  That was sort of our ritual back then.  All of a sudden out of nowhere my granddad says to me, “Even though your real daddy is white, you still can’t trust them crackas.”  The reason I remember it so vividly is because I turned and looked at him funny & said, “Even Gil?” (Gil was my biological dad’s name, same as mine.  I never called him dad even at that age).  My grandfather just looked at me & never answered my question and I resumed with watching cartoons. (Side note:  even at 4, I knew what the word cracka meant).

That “lesson” stuck with me for damn near my entire life.  All throughout school that lesson was there.  Now keep in mind, I didn’t go to all Black schools.  The schools I went to were fairly mixed for the most part, but most of the students self-segregated themselves whether they realized it or not.  You go into the lunch room, majority of Black folks sat around other Black folks & white folks around other white folks.  Of course there was the occasional “cool ass white boy” and the Black kid who hung around with mostly white people.  It wasn’t a big deal as far as I was concerned.  But looking back, maybe my first lesson in racism played a bigger impact on why I chose to self-segregate than I realized.  Even though I’m half white, I only felt comfortable around Black people because I was raised by Black people only.  My biological dad & I never had any relationship outside of the once every 10 year phone call.

Anyways, I mentioned earlier that I was always told by my family that no matter how light I am, society would always view me as Black.  Now add my grandfather’s lesson about not trusting white people plus sprinkle in some stories from my uncles, who are Black, about how they’ve had to deal with racism…what you ended up getting was a kid who grew up highly aware of how racist society can be at a very young age, even though I personally never received an official “nigger wake up call”.  Did I hate white people?  No.  I wouldn’t say I hated white people, but I damn sure didn’t trust them.  I didn’t trust white people so much that for the longest I didn’t even like to let people know I was half white…that’s how deep I didn’t trust white people.  It wasn’t until I joined the military at the age of 22 that I was actually forced to interact with white people beyond just being classmates at school is when my perception about them started to change slightly.  My perception didn’t change to where I just completely let my guard down, but my time in the military exposed me to another side of white people as to where I HAD to rely upon them simply due to the risk of situations involving life or death.  Even still, my grandfather’s lesson never left to where I was completely trusting white people due to macro society proving time and time again that racism was & is still a very real problem.

So I say all of that to say this…

It’s a lot of white people who read this website that swear up & down that I’m just a full blown racist because I talk about racist white people so much.  Truth of the matter is, the white people who get offended by me talking about racism so much are more than likely the white people who harbor racist views deep down inside & when they read what I write, they see themselves in my descriptions of these racist white people.  That’s really all it is.  Now for the white population that’s offended who refuses to acknowledge that aspect about themselves & they want to hold on for dear life to the false narrative that racist Black people actually exist simply because somebody called you a name…ask yourself, why do these so-called “racist” Black people exist in the first place?  What would make a Black person in America decide to just up & become racist towards white people?  Exactly what does a Black person stand to gain from being racist towards white people?  I mean, when it comes to racism, why are people racist in the first damn place if there is nothing to gain?  There has to be something of value to potentially gain if one chooses to believe their race is superior to another race.  Exactly what is it to gain for a Black person to be racist towards a white person?  What is it?  I can run down a list for days on what white people HAVE GAINED & continue to gain for being racist towards Black people, but…y’all aren’t really trying to hear all of that.  Real talk, somebody in white America who honestly feels Black people are racist, tell me exactly what does a Black person stand to gain for being racist towards a white person?  Leave your answers in the comments or just email me.

But anyways…most people in Black society learn early on what racism is.  Most of us have no choice but to learn it.  Most of us will get that “nigger wake up call” in some form or fashion before we die.  Those in Black society who deny that racism exists are nothing more than a bunch of Black people who choose to live in fantasy land simply because they haven’t had their nigger wake up call moment, but it shall come.  For Black people there are 3 guarantees in life:  taxes, death, & that nigger wake up call.  Admittedly I’ve never received mines, but I know it’s coming unfortunately.  I’m just fortunate enough to have been hyperaware of racism at an early age so that if it did come early on, the reality check wouldn’t have been as harsh simply because my grandfather told me to never 100% trust white people.  I know some white people are reading this with anger, disgust, & with a face full of white tears.  I also know a bunch of white people are reading this thinking “B-b-but I’m not racist!  This isn’t slavery or Jim Crow!  I have plenty of Black friends!  Gil, you just hate white people!!!”  I know that’s what you’re thinking.  And guess what…I don’t care.  I don’t hate white people, but white people do have a long documented 500 year minimum history of being complete savages against people of color (especially Black people) so much so that my elders felt it was necessary to warn me at the age of 4 so I don’t venture off into life under the illusion that everything is all okaley dokaley.  Seriously, can you blame my grandfather?  Dude was born in 1940 in Alabama for crying outloud.  As far as I’m concerned it would be child abuse to NOT warn his kids & grandkids about how white society can be simply based off of only HIS life experiences.

Back to the original question...

If you are Black, I’m interested in learning about your first “nigger wake up call” experience.  If you are a part of another minority group, I’d like to learn about your experience as it relates to your culture.  I’ll even go a step further, if you are white, share with me the first time you came to understand what racism is & let us know how it made you feel along with how it shaped your perception of the world.

Everybody claims none of us understand each other, well here is an opportunity to shed light so that maybe white society can develop a better understanding as why some of us in Black society view white people a certain way.