Man Law: The Rules Of The Public Restroom

So this meme appeared on my timeline today…

And to be honest, I think this meme addresses an important fact:  When it comes to boys learning proper restroom etiquette, only a father or father figure is truly qualified to teach a boy how to properly conduct himself in a public restroom.

So let’s go over the rules of engagement when a male enters a public restroom.

1. There is to be at least 1 urinal of separation between the parties in the restroom.
2. There is no talking while at the urinal.  You are there to just piss.
3. All eyes are to remain forward on the task at hand.
4. The only time talking is permitted is at the sink when it’s time to wash your hands.
5. In the event there are more stalls than urinals, the 1 stall of separation rule is in effect if possible.
6. If taking a dump, there is absolutely no talking whatsoever.  Full uninterrupted concentration is required when taking a dump in a public restroom.
7. If you are above the age of 5, you will not drop your pants to your ankles to expose ass cheeks while taking a piss.  If you must do that, go to a stall & then apply rule #5.

Exceptions:

1. The only time you can officially break the 1 urinal of separation rule is ONLY if all of the stalls are full and you have to piss badly to the point where you risk pissing on yourself.
2. The only time you are permitted to engage in urinal talk is ONLY if there is at least 1 urinal of separation & you know the person you are talking to.  You still must maintain eyes forward at all times.
3. The only time you are permitted to break the eyes forward rule is ONLY if another guy breaks the rules somehow in the restroom and you need to check him.
4. The ONLY time you are permitted to drop your pants to your ankles and expose butt cheeks in a public restroom is ONLY if you are being observed during a piss a test.  If you’ve ever served in the military, this rule is heavily “enforced”.

You would think that there should be no need to go over the code of conduct for how to properly use a public restroom, but unfortunately we now live a world where it is becoming unacceptable for men to teach little boys how to basically be men.  There is a real agenda out there which is going hard to push for a gender neutral society to where gender roles are no longer acceptable across all facets of life.  I’m not lying…it’s getting real moist out in these streets.

BUT…if you are like me who 100% believes in upholding the sacred unwritten rules of Man Law because you understand that these are codes we as men live & die by in order to preserve what’s left of manhood these days, then do me a favor:

Teach your young son how to properly conduct himself in a public restroom so I don’t wind up walking into the the men’s room and seeing a grown ass man pissing with his pants wrapped around his ankles and butt cheeks just hanging out like it’s normal.