5 Ways Women Contemplating On Entering The Porn Biz Could Make Real Money Besides Doing Porn

This past weekend I was home alone.  No wife, no kids.  Just me and a big ass yard of grass that needed to be cut.  So after cutting this half a football field worth of grass during the hottest part of the day like a jackass, I decided to reward myself with a shower, a six pack, and some Netflix.  Upon perusing the endless void of titles in Netflix I found myself in the documentary section.  If you do not have a Netflix account you seriously need to slap yourself.  If you can’t afford to pay the $7 or $8 monthly fee, slap yourself 7 or 8 times in a row.  But I digress.  The Netflix documentary section is probably the most entertaining thing going on because it literally opens up windows to worlds you didn’t even know existed and you find yourself watching this randomness of life wondering how in the hell did you not know shit like this was happening.  At least that’s how I feel when I come across something new up in there.  So behold here I am home alone, a six pack, pizza, the couch, cool AC, & Netflix documentaries.  Cruising through the documentary titles I come across one titled Hot Girls Wanted.  Hot Girls Wanted…oh really (let me make sure the wife & the kids didn’t secretly pull up in the driveway real quick).  Press play?  Sure, don’t mind if I do.

O………..K………this is……….interesting.  Not interesting in the West Coast Productions way.  If you are unfamiliar with West Coast Productions, google them.  But interesting in the “why in the fuck would any female want to be a porn star when they could probably make way more money doing shit like this” type of way.

If you haven’t watched the documentary Hot Girls Wanted, I suggest you do.  Basically the documentary gives you a look into the life of the average porn star.  We all have seen some type of porn where chicks are getting smutted out in video after video & most of us have all been lead to believe (thanks to social media) that these women are getting paid the big bucks to let guys turn them them into human Krispy Kreme donuts.  But the sad reality is, the overwhelmingly majority of these women in the porn industry are allowing themselves to get jizzed on day after day for what equates to probably less than an unemployment check.  Seriously, according to this documentary “the money shot” pays on average $50.  Hell, an entire ground & pound sex scene with Wesley Pipes might pay only $200 or so.  Equally sad is that these women subject themselves to this day after day before most get burnt out & quit the porn industry at around 2-3 months and be just as broke as they were before they decided to start slobbing knobs on camera.  But by the time 2-3 months have come by, they’ve probably shot at least 20-30 movies that will make the producers of these films richer & these films will be on the internet forever.  Forever ever ever…forever ever ever.  So the dreams of becoming the next Pinky (whom I actually know by the way) or the next whomever is really the equivalent to some kid on the playground basketball court growing up to become the next Lebron James.  The odds are just not there.  Plus the “talent” pool is never ending in the porn industry.  You wouldn’t believe how many females are anxiously awaiting till the day they turn 18 so they can pack their shit and escape from their country ass never-going-anywhere-in-life town to move to Miami to get some penis slapped on their cheeks all so they can try to attain the high life.  So instead of taking jizz shots to the face for $50, here’s a list of things women can do to make real money while being partially or totally naked bucked.

5 Things To Avoid $50 Jizz Shots To The Face

1.  Work at Hooters or Twin Peaks:  Seriously, you can dress scantily all day long in the presence of middle-aged to older perverted men and the occasional family of 4 while serving them breasts, thighs, legs, & actual food.  Not sure what the pay is, but you can probably earn enough decent change in tips without being on your knees with your tongue hanging out your mouth like a dog.

2.  Hit the Pole:  That’s right.  Nothing says success like clear heels and booty meat sliding up & down a pole.  Do you know how much money even the bottom of the barrel strippers make?  I don’t, but I’m sure it’s more than $50 worth of jizz to the eyeball.  Go watch the movie The Player’s Club for an in depth lesson on how to get paid for shake…shake…shakin’ that ass.

3.  Bikini Car Washes:  You know what men love more than their cars?  Making sure their cars stay clean & fresh.  You know what men love more than making sure their cars stay clean & fresh?  Sitting in their cars while watching a bunch of breasts press against their windows from a bunch of women dressing in bikinis lathering up their car with suds.  All you got to do is post up on a busy street at any auto parts store, put your bikini on, hold a sign stating you’re doing a car wash for some bullshit ass charity you just made up, round up a couple of your homegirls & get it popping.  You can probably run that hustle all summer long if you wanted to every weekend and take home lawd knows how much money.

4.  Join some type of escort service:  I wouldn’t know much about this business beyond what I’ve seen on tv, but it looks way more profitable than $50 jizz shots to the forehead.  I mean, if you want to get paid for having sex, why not actually get paid.  I once knew a person who had a friend who knew some people that knew a person that knew this one person who was selling that thang independently out of her house.  From what I heard from the person I once knew who had a friend who knew some people that knew a person that knew this person…she was doing pretty damn good.

5.  Start a live video chat site:  Get you a computer & a web cam, find some nerd to build you a website for the low low, and start entertaining dudes via the internet.  I once knew a person who had a friend who knew some people that knew a person that knew this one person that was doing exactly that.  She would get online during certain times of the day to entertain a bunch of dudes all over the country via the internet & the more money they deposited into her PayPal account or whatever payment system she was using, the more clothes she would take off and the more freaky deaky shit she would do on camera for these men.  From what I heard from the person I once knew who had a friend who knew some people that knew a person that knew this person…she was doing pretty damn good.  Sure beats $50 worth of jizz to the earlobe.

So in the end ladies, I know the allure of being the next porn star seems like the life.  You getting paid to do an activity you were doing for $FREE.99 seems like the ultimate dream come true.  But I highly implore you to watch the Hot Girls Wanted documentary on Netflix so you can thoroughly educate yourself on why $50 jizz shots to the back of throat probably isn’t the best financial move you can make.

Your favorite mulatto.
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