Three Secrets to Keeping People


To approve means to judge favorably or to agree with.  To approve means to go beyond the original acceptance.  Acceptance technically can be held at the low standard of “tolerance”, and there are reasons why you shouldn’t like the concept of mere tolerance.  In accepting someone, you are realizing everyone isn’t perfect, or maybe you had unrealistic standards.  In approving of someone, you are finding the things you like in a person.  In approving, you are saying, “hey, THAT is okay,” or “I really like that!”

You can always find something to approve of in a person, and you can also always find something to disapprove of.  If you are always look for things to disapprove of, you will be that negative personality, that negative spirit.  No one wants to be with someone who always and/or only highlights what’s wrong with us.  Positive character brings out the positive in people and negative character brings out the bad.

A sound strategy to approving of people is to catch them doing something that seems secondary to them, but might be a bigger part of their identity.  Perhaps something that doesn’t have a license, degree, or other proof of expertise.  Hunt for the non-obvious, on things that are begging for confirmation.  Compliment a doctor on his medical expertise may seem like ordinary flattery, but compliment this same “doctor” on how he grills steaks on a cookout and you will win him over without question.  Many of men have met the woman who knows she has “pretty eyes”.  Compliment her on something else that’s not so obvious.  This small game of looking for the non-obvious treasures in people will make you a better person to be around in itself.  We all hunger for approval, and best part of it is that the fact that it isn’t hard to provide this need.

So there you have it, Accept, Appreciate and Approve.  With these three concepts put in practice, you can attract and/or keep whoever you wish.  By all means, please allow yourself to try this out.  In employing all three I guarantee that you will feel like a better person, and that alone is attractive in itself.

Photo Credit: Johnny Silvercloud

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