A Parent’s Nightmare…But “What Should You Do” About it???

So…I’m looking through my social media websites, and I come across a pic of a young boy and girl taken intimately (or lustfully) with the boy having a tight grip on the buttocks of the young girl…with the age factor looking like between the both of them at the tender age of 12.  The question is asked, “What would you do if you come home and you see your daughter like this?”  Naturally, the majority reaction has been, “I’m whooping tail immediately!” or “I’m going to jail or hell ’cause I’m going to kill someone!”  Some commentators said they would’ve whooped both kids…some just said only the boy (huh?)!  Someone actually said they would take their daughter to get monthly birth-control shots and that it is for their benefit for them to do so! (WHAAA???)  Ultimately, the reaction sparks anger in the lives of parents who invest into their children!  “This is BLASPHEMY…AN OUTRAGE!  Who would allow this to happen?  How did it get to this with my child?!?  Well, guess what…I’m going to DO SOMETHING about it!  He/she will never see the light of day again!!!”

This is considered to be the worst nightmare for a parent…to catch their pre-teen child engaging lustfully in a passionate kiss!  Yep, I do agree that an immediate punishment should be warranted in this case.  But then, I’m also looking at the issue as to what led your precious child to engage in a passionate moment at such a young age?  Your child learned that from SOMEWHERE…or SOMEONE!!!  As parents, some of us are quick to lash at out on an issue that concerns the well-being of our child, especially one so lustfully graphic…and I agree.  This is our natural instinct…to protect our child by any means necessary!  Our dearly beloved children are the most precious God-given gift we could ever have!  Even if our significant other left us, they will always be our kids…whom we have a major part in raising them to grow up and be responsible adults (if you are involved directly in your child’s life).

But I also think if you wish to prevent issues like the photo presented, you need to evaluate everything that your child may have gotten exposed to that would allow you to witness this “incomprehensible” nightmare!  Some of you may say you’ve done the right thing….you raised them up and trained them up in the way they should go, so when they get older, they will never depart from it…so ultimately, there is NO WAY they should’ve been engaging in any type of sexual act such as the one being presented.  I beg to differ!  Unless you have completely shut them off from all types of social media…i.e. the TV, their computers, their cell-phones…where they can engage in “adult” conversations and get exposed to artists like Nicki Minaj and J-Lo strutting their assets…or maybe even exposing them to shows and movies where the same type of explicit content is running rampant in your home (let’s call out a popular one…saaaaay Scandal), there is no way you can prevent them from not seeing the “sex-selling” exploitation that is going on out there.  Now, some of you will try this stunt and possibly consider locking your child up in a basement until they reach the tender age of 17…thinking you probably know what’s best for your child and completely impose your dominance over them!  THEY WILL OBEY YOU OR ELSE!!! NOOOO…I’m not saying that either!  I beg of you…DO NOT choose this route of shutting them off from all aspects of society.  If you decide to do that, they will do everything to get out of your home and engage in the very thing that you tried to prevent them from getting involved in, and then you’re wondering…why are they so buck-wild as an adult?!?  I didn’t RAISE them like this!!!  I only did what was BEST for my child!  I don’t know HOW this happened!

Now some of you are looking at me and saying…okay, what would YOU do, guy?  You just said don’t shelter my child…but yet if I don’t do something, I may have to risk letting my child learn the realities of life the hard way!  So what do I do?  Well, one thing I learned is this…your child is a reflection of you and whomever you got involved with to have them!  They will adopt your personality…some for the best, some for the worst (depending on how you led your life)!  Not trying to exploit flaws…but if you were “out there partying, drinking, and having a good time with your bad self” when you were coming up and still try to do those things even after you had your children, there’s a STRONG possibility that they will want to do the same thing.  Some of you loved the way you were raised by your parents when you were coming up…particularity in the 70s, 80s and early 90s where child-beating and harsh punishment for a stunt like this did not land you in jail or court.  But this new generation is a lot smarter…more advanced…and a little bolder in rebelling and turning you in if you try to repeat the same “philosophies” installed in you by your parents.  Plus, you have adults that don’t believe in spanking and believe that a “time-out” is all a child needs! So…back to what I would do!  Well…

This is what I would do…spend quality time with them at every given opportunity.  Let them see at an early age that you’re invested in their well-being.  Do not assume that going to work during the week, paying the bills in the house, and providing a roof over their heads when you come home at night is enough!  It isn’t!  It also requires a sacrifice from you to get away from your activity of free time to go talk and mentor to them about the cruel world out there!  Let them know that life is NOT social media or what they see on TV all the time!  Give them a goal to look forward to, and push them towards it!  Get them and yourself involved in their school, sports or activities (boy/girl scouts) that enhances future goals…it will occupy their free time so they won’t invest in…other pursuits!  Talk to them about sex (THE RIGHT WAY!!!)!  Tell them that even though sex is a good thing, they should learn to savor themselves until they become mature adults!  Show them how to respect and manner themselves around someone that they may have feelings for….and PLEASE try to convince them that those feelings will come to fruition at a mature age (17 or above..AFTER they complete high school) and by then, your child will know when he/she is ready for a true relationship!  Hopefully, you can also get the parents of the person whom they have feelings for t0 adopt the same philosophy.  You’ll be amazed at the results you get when you provide that interaction!  Failure to do so will result in your child finding a parent figure somewhere else.  Now even with that, you may have a child that may go through the “rebellious” phase, but they will respect what you are trying to do with them as a parent!  Ultimately, show your love and appreciation and let them know that you care about them and you want them to be successful in life.

Love, Peace, and Blessings, everyone!

Onyx Contributor:  Franklin Ball