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Lessons For Marriage

By on June 28, 2014

Lessons For Marriage

***NOTE- I did not necessarily perform the actions mentioned in the following lessons.  Some are lessons I have learned from other individuals I have come across in life.****

1.  Honesty is the best policy.  So is owning a gun.

2.  Be faithful, or don’t get caught.  Refer to lesson 1.

3.  The easiest way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

4.  Never allow in-laws to overly indulge in alcohol in public.  Or anywhere else for that matter.

5.  Always have a camera.  You never know when a funny photo may be used for revenge.

6.  Pre-Nuptials are just a nice way of saying Preemptive strike at your wallet.

7.  Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.

8.  You know you have reached the peak of personal comfort in your marriage when you catch yourself having in-depth conversations with your spouse during all aspects of bathroom use.  ALL ASPECTS.

9.  Marriage has no guarantees.  If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

10.  Marriage is finding that one special person that you can annoy for the rest of your life.

11.  The most important lesson of all:  When you find the one person you think you want to marry, 1) listen, 2) love, 3) smile, 4) and never forget to laugh.  In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce.  The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.

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Just a guy with some years on him that calls it like I see it. My opinions my be offensive to some and funny to others. My goal is not to offend but to create asymmetric thought. So, if you're offended...oh well. Maybe you deserved it.
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