Is It Just Me? (Caveman Syndrome)

Growing up, I lived in a house with a large family. Mom and dad were married and we lived in the ghetto. My father was famous for three things as far as his children could tell. He gave out a mean “ass-whoopin'” as he termed them, he made the best steaks in the world, and he was a brilliant speaker. My father was an old fashioned man. He did not believe in letting me grow my hair long or get cornrow braids, he didn’t believe in rewarding disobedience, he was the type that kept it so real that it would hurt. Both of my parents were recovering addicts but rather than ruining their kids by lying about it or using us for their habits, my father had an approach of his own.

I can remember him bringing all 5 of us kids into the living room and showing us videos about drug use and the problems that could come as a result of partaking in them. He gave each child a book with illustrations and instructed the older children to read with the younger children. I can remember being a child and my father forcing us to watch the “Nick-news W5” Special featuring Magic Johnson talking about the danger of  HIV and Aids. My father actually spoke to me often about promiscuity and the issues of sexually transmitted diseases. My father knew the Bible as though it was his name. My father was very strict in the opinion of many who knew him. As I got older and entered my rebellious teenager phase, I wanted to know about the world. I started to notice that just about every girl I knew was promiscuous and every guy I knew did some type of drug. I smoked a little weed and got a little ass when I could. I did most of the things I did during that phase as a statement. I very quickly started to quit smoking and I got into reading the Bible and some other materials. I wasn’t looking for religion when I looked into my Bible. I was wondering why I had such a deep need for what I considered to be morality.

I believed in something that I had not expressed through my actions. I wanted to be a better person. I wanted to find a wife that did not believe in casual sex. I started changing the music I listened to because I had become disgusted by most of it. I wasn’t disgusted by the swearing but by the lack of good intention in the lyrics. I started to feel alone and whenever asked about my position on certain topics I would be alienated and ridiculed by my own friends and family. They labeled me a caveman.

Is it just me?

Onyx Contributor:  Eli Phoenix

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