Michael Sam’s Now Infamous Kiss

It seems like if you are black, gay, & just happen to date a gay white man…you’re a recipe for disaster, at least according to all of the chit chat I’ve been hearing in the last few days in reference to Michael Sam.

As most of you should know by now, Michael Sam is the NFL’s first openly gay player.  Michael Sam shocked the world this past Saturday after his name was called announcing that he had been drafted by the St. Louis Rams.  In celebration of being selected to play in the NFL, Michael Sam and his boyfriend decided to cherish the moment on live television with a kiss….and let the fuxxery begin.

**Disclosure**

I have absolutely no issue with gay people.  They do their thing & live their lives as I shall do my thing and continute to live my life.  When it comes to public displays of affection, whether it is from gay people or straight people, I’m not interested in seeing anybody slobbing down their significant other period.  But that’s just me. 

Moving on….

For starters, Black men in America are taught at a young age that they are deemed the most serious threat to society.  We are a threat regardless if we are educated or not.  Black men are also taught at a young age that we must work extremely harder than the next man of a different race in order to possibly reach the same levels of accomplishments as the other man.  Black men are further taught at an early age that if we don’t apply our mind & body towards the pursuit of excellence then we shall be faced with 2 severe consequences in life:  dead or in jail.  Lastly & shamefully, Black men (especially in the last 20 – 30 years or so) have NOT been taught properly as a whole how to grow up and become men who take care of their responsibilities….mainly helping to raise their kids.  The Black community has countless single mothers raising children on their own with countless absent fathers either dead, in jail, or simply no where to be found.  Being Black in America is an experience unike any other from the time a child is born all the way to their final breath in life.  All Black people understand this whether they want to admit to it or not.

I’ve stated this before & I shall repeat it again: I don’t care how much further our society has come along in terms of the never ending fight for equality, homosexual people have a LONG WAY to go.  Most people I know can tolerate & accept people living the gay lifestyle, but at the same time there isn’t any 100% true acceptance of the lifestyle. Most people I know would prefer to see gay people happy and carrying on about their business without putting homosexual displays of affection out in the public. Most people I know can accept white men being gay, Black or white women being lesbians, but truly accepting a Black man being gay is still a pill that’s hard to swallow for a lot of Black people. Some of you reading this might strongly disagree with me & that’s ok, but I’m not making this shit up off the top of my head. Being gay is one thing, being a gay Black man is a TOTALLY DIFFERENT thing especially as it pertains to the Black community.

The Gay Black Man

Of all the things Black people must endure in today’s society, nobody probably gets it rougher in my opinion than the gay Black man.  Not only does this person have to maneuver through life simply just being a Black man in America, but this man must also deal with the stigma that comes along with being gay.  I’m not talking about the stigma that comes from American society as a whole.  I’m simply talking about the stigma that is presented to gay Black men from Black America.  The Black community has its own unique sets of internal battles we face everyday such as:  light skin vs dark skin, oreos (Carlton Banks type), the glorification of being a thug or a hoe, absent fathers, single mothers, and a whole host of other shit we as Black people fight over daily amongst ourselves.  But the guy who gets it the absolute worse is the gay Black man period.  There are a lot of people within the Black community whom feel that being Black and gay is the ultimate disgrace & betrayal to the Black community.  Trust me, I have conversations with these people all of the time.  These people feel that with all the shit our culture has to endure and has endured over the last 400 years, the last thing the Black culture needs to be worried about is Black men becoming “soft” in the ever continuing struggle for true respect in a white dominated society.  The anger and the disgust is real.

The anger comes about mainly due to the weakening of the Black family starting with the Black man.  As I’ve stated earlier, there are simply too many single Black mothers raising children on their own due to absent fathers.  Now I am in no way implying that single mothers are responsible for young Black boys growing up to be gay.  What I am saying is, there is this belief amongst a lot of Black people that a boy growing up in a single mom home with no real male guidance is going to eventually take on traits & characteristics deemed feminine which would ultimately lead to these boys turning out to be gay later in life.  This is the message & belief that is being pushed out there especially by the super duper pro Black knee grows of America (this is NOT my belief).  So when some in Black America witness a young Black male grow up to become gay, a lot of people within our culture just feel that it is another blow against Black America in an effort to keep us weak & held down.

Interesting Twist

I was listening to the Rickey Smiley Morning Show on the radio earlier today.  On the show, there is a cohost by the name of Gary (Gary With Da Tea) who just happens to be a gay Black man.  Now of all the people in the world that you would think would be the most supportive of Michael Sam sharing a kiss with his boyfriend on live TV, Gary was highly offended.  Gary wasn’t necessarily angry at the fact that 2 gay men exchanged a kiss on live television, Gary was angry at the fact that Michael Sam’s boyfriend is a white man.  I kid you not.

This is an interesting aspect and also another mark in the negative column for gay Black men I suppose.  Think about it, how many times have we heard Black women complaining or showing utter disgust for some Black men who become successful and adorn their arm with a white woman?  We hear that shit all of the time.  Now here it is, some gay Black men are reacting the exact same way as Black women in relation to a successful gay Black man adorning his arm with a gay white man.  How crazy is this shit.  It just goes to further prove that being a gay Black man in America, you’re going to catch hell from every angle in Black America.

In The End…

Personally, I do not want to see 2 grown men exchanging slobs anywhere regardless of their race.  Nor am I interested in seeing 2 heterosexual people slobbing each other down as well.  I understand Michael Sam’s excitement and celebration with his boyfriend as I understand the anger coming out of the Black community.  But at the end of the day, that is Michael Sam’s life & how he chooses to live his life has no impact on how I choose to live my life.  As far as me explaining this to my child if he ever sees it, honestly, I’m just going to have to be real with my son & explain to him that some men like men & some women like women.  It is what it is.  No need in trying to pretend the gay lifestyle doesn’t exist because it does & it’s out there in full force.  It’s just another reality of the world & society we live in.