Motivations For The Perpetually Single

The dating struggle….

It’s real.

I know because, that’s been my life for a while now. The  dating, the etiquette, everyone asking you “When are you going to get you a man/woman?” The awkwardness you experience when everyone but you is in a serious relationship.

The reasons are different for each person. Perhaps….. you haven’t met anyone who has made a positive impression upon you in the relationship department,or you just feel as if you need to be on a dating Hiatus. Perhaps the thought of a committed relationship scares you to the point where you begin hyperventilating and break into a cold sweat as tears come to your eyes while you fight the urge to cry like a two year old in time out…*looks around and then raises her hand* No? Just me? Ok.

Whatever your reason, I need YOU to know that it is OKAY! Though many people will tell you otherwise, there is nothing wrong with being single. Television and other media will have you believe that singleness is a disease to get rid of. But there’s plenty of perks in being single. It’s a phase and I suggest that you take that time and use it to the fullest advantage, because when you are no longer single, it will all be gone. *poof*

The following is a short list about why I’ve personally found it to be acceptable to be single and why you don’t have to be ashamed of your perpetual singleness!

1.) Finding “The One” is a game of chance and a function of TIME: There are 7.2 BILLION people on the face of the Earth. That means there are ROUGHLY 3.6 Billion people (assuming that you are not bisexual) to choose from. And most of them are not even in America. Especially if you are not one to travel, what do you realistically think the odds are that you’ll run into “The One”, especially with only a few years of actively “looking”? Pretty Slim.

2.) Forever is a long time: The average life span for the entire world is ABOUT 70 years. If we all found “The One” when we were in our in our 20’s through 30’s, that’s an entire 40- 50 years you will be bound to the same person, for the rest of your life. There is really no rush. I assure you that you do not receive extra points for finding your true love earlier in life….Unless you are going for a world record….In which case, What are you doing!?!?! Go find you a man/woman RIGHT NOW!!!

3.) You can make yourself better…stronger…faster…: Let’s be honest…You need work…Yes, I know you are fabulous and awesome, but EVERYONE can use some self-improvement. When you are single you have ample time to do so. Overtime at work? Why not, it’s not like you have someone waiting for you to come home! Cooking class? Sure! Been looking for some gym time? Now’s your chance! Didn’t you say you were going back to school? Why not go while you don’t have family obligations?

4.)You may not know what you want, But you know what you DON’T want:  You deserve congratulations, because you DIDN’T settle! Think about it…There’s someone who MAY have just been willing to marry you. But you? You ruled them out, and kept it moving. Yes, you are now single, but is it better to be in a relationship/marriage with someone you don’t care for? You stuck to your guns and didn’t lower your standards. #Kudos!

5.) You are Wild and Free: You can  still do as you please! You can drink out of the juice carton. You can come and go at all times of night. You can sleep with whomever you want. You can go see horrible movies that you like without the judgement. You don’t have to check in with anyone. You’re free to be as crazy and as unpredictable as you like!

6.) You get to KNOW yourself: Being single allows you to date, meet many people, gain experience, and find out your likes and dislikes. You also get to reflect upon past relationships and think about what you can do to improve your interactions in the next one!

I understand that its hard out there, but the key to being happy no matter what your marital status is to make the best out of what you have. When I speak to the married women that come to my job, they all tell me the same thing:’

“Enjoy it while you can.”

It’s not that they are unhappy with their husband and slew of children, but being single is a situation that (if all goes well) you don’t get to repeat! Get the most out of it, so when it does come time to take those vows you have no regrets! Good luck on your journey and remember your singleness is only what you make of it. It can be a sweet vacation or a lonely journey…Which do you choose?

Onyx Contributor:  Finesse Apprvd

photo credit:  Thomas Hawk