At What Measure is an Ex?

THERE’S SO MANY SONGS talking about getting back with yours (thanks Drake).  There’s so many people taking yours after you broke up; your friends may want to even flirt with the idea.  With all this emphasis on the ex these days, it’s only right to wonder… at  what measure is an ex?

So what makes an ex what it is?  Of course there has to be some level of a relationship that had to exist; one cannot be an ex if you never were in a relationship… or, never had them.  Relationship versus sex.  Hold up — before we can get into the definition of an ex, what defines a relationship to begin with?   Can a jump off for example, be considered an ex?

No matter what, there’s no way a jump off can be an ex.  No way.  No matter what feelings they may catch.  Next.

 Can a person you didn’t sleep with be an ex?  Only as a teen in high school.  Or adolescent in middle school.  Or a kid in elementary school.  As an adult, I highly doubt someone you didn’t sleep with can be an ex.  Sex is the thing that really makes a relationship official.  Of course there are some exceptions; if you are dealing with two paraplegics in wheelchairs who can’t fuck of course I’m not talking about them.  Feelings plus physical lust/love makes a relationship in this case.  If you disagree, show proper love and comment on it.

Let’s get one thing straight — An ex-husband or ex-wife are legal terms due to the fact that marriage and divorce are legal terms.  Therefore, there’s no such thing as an ex-husband or ex-wife loosing their ex status while flirting with getting with them again.  You are adults, there’s no way that those legal terms will fade; they are legal terms.  Just had to get that out there.

So the relationship came and ended, now what in the world makes him/her an ex?  For how long?  Because Nicole in the 5th grade for me, if I met her now (I’m 32 at the time of publishing of this Truth) and spoke of her, I would not identify her as an ex.  It’s too long ago.  We are radically different well over 20 years later.  It would be absurd to speak of her — and ultimately treat her — as if she was an actual ex of yesterday.  Why is that?  It’s too easy; it was ridiculously too long ago.

I figure that an ex is an ex due to whatever conflicting interest that broke you up.  I believe that an ex is defined as an ex because they are still “high risk”.  In other words, if that person is still high risk if you were to get back with them, based on the thing that broke you up the first last time?  That’s an ex ladies and gentlemen.  If you broke up with him because of his mismanagement of  money, and he still doesn’t know how the handle? He’s an ex.  If she has a stank attitude that you could not bare, and she still has it?  She’s an ex.  If he cheated, and he still cheats?  He’s an ex.  If you got tired of her listening to her dumb ass lonely girlfriend full of bad advice and she still goes to that lonely dry cunt for relationship advice?  She is STILL an ex.  Oh and by the way, if YOU are the one with the problem, then YOU are an ex which makes that other one an ex until you fix yourself. 

It is only that simple; an ex is a person who you in very recent history had a relationship with who still poses a threat of breaking your heart, causing undue stress, just fucking up your mind, body and/or soul.  The good news is that many people do develop; nothing in life stays the same.  But at the same time, they may get even worse.  So Onyx Truthers, understand that an ex ceases to being an ex when they cease being the agent of your heartbreak.  But at the same time, do not be fooled by those who make attempt on only appearing to change; promising one thing but retracting their claim of change when you fall in love again.  That is called being low-balled.  A concept found in relationships, worthy of a future article.  I promise to deliver that truth soon.

Photo credit: Johnny Silvercloud

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