Stop the Absurdity of Double Standard Behavior

Today in the New Age society that we live in and the diverse ways technology has allowed us to connect with one another there are so many complex levels we relate to one another on, in addition to how we define and label those we interact with. Many times in an effort to get to know one another or fulfill the innate need for companionship we set ourselves up for failure, lose sight of what is important, and/or get labeled incorrectly due to the way we have misrepresented one’s self.

I know right now one of the biggest topics we as women are bombarded with daily is ‘how to please your mate’:

On a day to day basis there is this pressure from the media to be a certain type; to be pleasing not only in society but in the sheets and nowadays we need to just totally do away with everything and “Think Like A Man”. This type of rationale is absurd! It is as if the male is automatically the ‘correct’ aspect of the relationship and the female is just lost, dazed & confused, and should adapt and get on board. Not only is the pressure one sided, but it is as if it is just one half of the equation’s responsibility to maintain the livelihood and lifespan of something that when done properly involves two.

Let’s be sincerely honest with each other; there is a double standard today for how a woman behaves intimately and how a man, or shall I say male, behaves intimately. There has always been and continues to be a war on women and their ingrained femininity/sexuality. The Western civilization is not as evolved as they proclaim to be in this arena. Have you ever heard the saying love your sons and raise your daughters? Now as a result, a lot of folks are either unfaithful or unequally yoked with someone who has not practiced the things they so arrogantly desired and demanded in a mate. I am just like a male in the sense that you don’t want a ‘hoe’ or a promiscuous mate…well neither do I?! You have these male hypocrites running around so misguided by their role and the part they play with other people that now you have these perverse beings demanding purity or chastity when they themselves cannot begin to know what it means to be chaste or restrained.

Now here is my disclaimer for you literals out there: I am NOT saying that there aren’t any men out there who are not disciplined and pure! But I am simply saying that in the general sense there is a double standard of a woman’s behavior versus a man’s. It just is…and for those who think that there isn’t or that there is good reason for this please, please, please do away with all the ignorant justifications of why a woman should be ‘more’ pure than a man. Simply put if we are aware, fully mature, and on our way to enlightenment and spiritual wisdom we can very easily see from the testimonies of our fellow counterparts that male promiscuity can be very, if not oftentimes, even more damaging than any female. If you claim be of a certain intellect regarding monogamous male/female relationships and cannot grasp this truth then I beg your pardon and ask that we look at our current situation at a more humbled objective standpoint. We are looking objectively not so that we can place blame or point fingers but so that we may address the issue more wholeheartedly and sincerely giving both our sons AND daughters half a fighting chance in an area of their lives that is very vital to their overall well being. Now please don’t confuse my efforts, I am not here to argue the level of difficulty it is for a man to control himself nor will l suffer a fool for too long on this topic simply because one refuses to see how displaying restraint is important to both male and female behavior mainly because if we cannot begin to know the cause of a thing, how can we begin to confront or remedy it.

You might be saying well how do we ‘remedy’ the situation? Well, my main proposal is that we must stop making excuses for one while persecuting and chastising the other. Since both parties are involved, both need to be equally responsible.  We cannot do that if we are putting pressure on one while excusing the other not if we propose to lead healthier more conscious minded productive lives; if this is not your aim then carry on but if it is, then lay claim to this truth. Therefore, we need to ‘raise’ both our daughters and our sons by at the very least decreasing the gap of what is expected of one party over the other if we hope to give them more fulfilling long lasting interactions with their mates. More to come on this topic.

Onyx Contributor:  Mahogany Jones

Photo Credit:  Thomas Hawk