Why Angry Millennial are Wrong & It’s OK to be the Good Guy to Women

By:  H.T., Website:  Rogue Black Nerd

In recent months I’ve been told to be the happy, caring loving man that I am at my core and to be honest, I have a hero complex that modern society wishes to quash to stop me from “simping”.  What draws frustration is that, to be honest, it’s not that being a loving caring man counts against me, it’s the perception from other men onto me about me being the loving caring man that at the very minimum is not desired by many women whom most would call the most physically desired women.  I look myself in the mirror and call bullshit.

Now on some level it’s true that yes, as far as this generation goes, many times it feels like it’s more accepted for women openly to not only be shallow but materialistic.  But again, this is perception and by someone else’s (say a woman’s) one could argue that this generation of men are responsible for indulging women who only go for rich or physically attractive men.  I mean, call Blac Chyna or any of the other countless women that rappers “date” for a few weeks and leave, but it’s men on the whole that give these women some degree of social currency as desired women.  So can we really call them the bad guys for taking a date and a check just cause she’s popular?

I say all this because as it goes, I’ve been informed that my frustrations with dating and women aren’t fully from an honest place.  And I thought about it from a more existential place.  One thing I often hear on social media is that the only reasons that our grandparents stayed together for 30+ years was because chances were they grew up during a time when being a divorced woman meant men viewed you as damaged to the point beyond redemption.  This is actually true as the movie “Fences” comes to mind.  As much as you felt for Denzel Washington’s character, the fact was he was a bad husband.  But these things were the norm.  But seeing as we are 20 years beyond the normalization of no-fault divorces in courts by now, many of us are used to the idea of kids being raised with divorced or even remarried parents and half siblings.  For men of this generation, I think the reason there are so many men who cling very hard to the ideal of getting married and having kids is because many men were, as said on here by many writers, were raised to seek the lives of their grandparents.  What I think happened was that social media upset the social norms in many ways.

For one, I think one thing we need to admit is that for as shallow as we perceive this generation to be, I actually believe it’s more a situation of us being more open and due to social media, a more educated society.  Face it, even if your grandmother was a beautiful woman in her youth, I’m willing to bet a decent amount of cash that if we look around, a lot of men from the boomer generation that lived the conservative life of the 50s and even 60s weren’t the best looking men who likely only got any women because likely women around them were told to settle.  Honestly, if you break it down, the real fear suburbia had about the hippie movement was that clearly it was the most attractive women of their areas going off to travel and fuck dirty jobless hippies while they, hardworking smart upstanding men were ignored.  Sound familiar?

I bring up social media because that’s what brings a similar effect as the flower power movement:  now women had the final say in who got to have kids with them, or just had sex if you factor in birth control. I truly think the angry men of this generation underestimate how little appeal they hold for their lifestyle as for one, the social imperative to find a rich husband is so low that yes, it is reduced to a choice.  Yes, since the beginning of modern western civilization, there has always been women who are attractive and make their main goal to live off rich men.  But the fact is that such women are either existing on public assistance without shame or are dying out because women are making enough money to survive on their own.  For as much as the men of means today wish to view themselves as heroes, the fact is that we no longer live in a world where independent women are told that the world will view them as less than for being single into their later years.  Another prime example of how far the world has evolved is the documentary Crazy Love where the story is told of a woman who was brutally blinded by a man who was obsessed with her, only decades later to marry him due to societal pressures.

I say all this because in reality, I myself suffer from delusions of grandeur that being the asshole will net me more women.  The reality is that first and foremost, no woman owes me sex or affection PERIOD and that as a whole, men today wish we could in fact go back to the days of our grandparents in terms of gender relations as things weren’t as complicated due to the fact that for past generations the act of marrying for utilitarian reasons was just beginning to die out at the turn of the century.  By the 50s, men were still marrying for the idea of being in love as sold to them by society although it was built on patriarchal standards.  By the 70s, women in mass began to reject these ideals and live and love as they wished.  By the 90s, the taboos of love as it related to race, sexuality, religion and socio-economics began to break down en mass.  Even now, I take most of my more effective dating advice from my dear friend muse who is a single mother of 2 and two of my friends who are a polyamourus couple.  I bring up all these things about them as fact is the people I often listen to while like me are straight men seeking monogamous relationships.  The fact is, I lack their will to discriminate against other lifestyles and in a way view them as competition to the life I wish to live.  If anything, I go to my friends who are in an polyamorus relationship because they know very well what attracts what to the opposite sex in large.  When you break down the logic of the more conservative men of the millennial generation, in the end there really isn’t room for a man being himself honestly in their eyes towards women.  As a man by the standards of ideologies like Red Pill and PUA, men must still fill the shoes of the Ubermensch with wealth to attract only the most attractive women of society while simultaneously complaining that the modern woman lacks morals and standards because women demand men to be these things while ignoring women who do not demand these things of men simply because as men we do not like to admit that we keep this mentality of “men must be rich, tall dark and handsome” going because none of us like to admit how shallow we are.

Shallow because in the end, for as much as any of us complain that dating is hard, I think I and many others need to admit that the reality is that for many of us, our greatest obstacle is ourselves and our male privilege that tells us that just being the bare minimum means we should be given the top tier women because we’ve been told that the losers are so high that women should love us unconditionally for not being broke trash.  But consider the fact that women today do not need to seek the most wealthy man out or even the best looking ones.  If anything, women today can easily make enough to support themselves and their kids and date or just seek casual partners for sex based on looks because honestly there’s no real reason to settle.  The fear of being called a hoe isn’t a big fear and the so called alpha male narrative is reduced to a joke.  Men today flock to the idea of being the most desired male and blame their shortcomings with women on feminism because for better or worse, the modern woman has taken control of who they decide gets laid in mass.  I honestly have to reject my stance that men would be better if women would engage better men as for this to be true en mass, this leads down the dangerous road of men making the threat that if they don’t get laid, they’ll kill innocent people a la Elliot Rodgers.

In the end, I can’t sit and agree with the ideas that red pill men have that if you make a little more money, look a little better or just act like more of a dick women will flock to you.  Honestly, women like attractive men regardless of how they act as do men with attractive women, so it’s not some huge revelation.  And to be honest, the idea of women liking assholes and hating “simps” is a half truth that forgets the fact that these are men who still on some level are objectifying women and these are women who regardless of how they treat “simps” or the men they actually like are just as shallow and are only given country on the grounds that these men are still giving them attention.  Think about it, the only thing that sets the so called beta male apart from the modern ideal image of the alpha male is that so called alphas might get sex and attention from women with honestly no real effort put it by perception as in his opinion, as long as he doesn’t have to buy said woman anything or do anything for her, he’s gotten over.  The reality is that in the end, women can and will get what they want in society because social media systematically gives essentially every woman an audience of men who enough will find attractive, thus why so many men are attracted to these philosophies as most men don’t know how to compete when it’s clear that the standards of meritocracy no longer favor men who are just there and don’t offer much.  I’m not saying that giving your all to someone who’s made it clear they aren’t interested is right, but to assume a woman’s choice in men boils down to whether or not you have something concrete like looks not only says that potentially you are dealing with a shallow woman, but that at absolute you are shallow for thinking love is like buying a tv or even getting an achievement in a video game that if you just pay or do certain things, you’ll be rewarded.  Yes, I think it’s time we all as men just admit that we aren’t owed anything by women and to just be ourselves and accept that women will choose us on their standards and not based on what we think they want.  Call me a captain save a hoe if you want, but I honestly have reached a point where I’d rather be on good terms with multiple women I’m not having sex with than having sex and be hated by dozens of women.  Honestly, other men & myself today can’t seriously complain that women embrace shitty men when it’s clear that we’ll embrace toxic behavior just because other men who display it get some women to like it.  Ask yourself, is it the toxic behavior or is it charm, looks or that on some level there’s a part of him that offsets the things that you may view negatively?

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