The 20 Steps of Becoming a Social Justice Warrior or a Super Duper Pro-Black

Step 1:  Create a social media account.  Post a bunch of randomness that displays how your life is either genuinely exciting, mundane or just flat out sucks.

Step 2:  Watch as your timeline becomes flooded with images & videos of black people being killed or brutalized by white people and the cops.

Step 3:  Become hypnotized by the beautiful status updates of a more advanced social justice warrior or super duper pro-black who can articulate how & why they believe black people are allowed to be terrorized.

Step 4:  Introduce the word “white supremacy” to your vocabulary and start shouting it all over social media.

Step 5:  Learn the word “coon” and use it as frequently as you do the words “white supremacy”.

Step 6:  Pick your team:  the social justice warriors or the super duper pro-blacks.

Step 7:  Immerse yourself deep into either the SJW or super duper pro-black ideologies.

Step 8:  Out of nowhere, turn into a ridiculously angry person online for no reason at all other than to keep up the appearance that you are truly angry about whatever the hell your team is telling you to be angry at.

Step 9:  Pay attention to your LIKES.  The angrier you present yourself, the more LIKES you’ll be rewarded.

Step 10:  Relentlessly get into social media arguments to prove just how angry you can be when other people try to figure out exactly why you are so damn angry and why you can’t find non-angry ways of expressing your thoughts.

Step 11:  Become so angry that hardly anybody in your real life wants to fuck with you or actually claim you in a positive way.

Step 12:  Become so angry that people from your original social media life begin to unfriend you or block you which then convinces you that you must be on the right path to doing something “important” (you’re not).

Step 13:  Become so angry that you actually become the stereotype of the angry black man/woman that you claim to despise so much because everything that literally falls out of your mouth is nothing but pure anger as if your life actually just flat out sucks (because it does).

Step 14:  Become so angry that you graduate to a way of thinking that you can never be wrong and that everybody else is either a coon, asleep, or a racist.

Step 15:  Become so angry that you go out of your way to see how many times you can get blocked or banned from your social media profiles you use to inform the world of just how angry you are.

Step 16:  Become so angry that you now start ostracizing white people who once rode hard for you thereby causing them revert back into their nonchalant white ways of thinking niggas are crazy which thereby creates your self-fulfilling prophecy that all white people (or any other race) are inherently racist towards black people…yet failing to realize that maybe some of these white people just got annoyed with the stereotypical angry black person clogging up their social media profiles for no damn reason other than to just be angry for the sake of being angry.

Step 17:  Become so angry that you try to solicit money to help fund one your projects that was created out of anger only to realize that nobody wants to contribute to an angry black person’s project simply because you are just angry all of the damn time for no reason.  You’ll get a few dollars tossed your way from other equally angry knee grows, but the overall project won’t amount to any significant other than being a project created by and funded by a bunch of angry knee grows who just want another avenue to display their relentless anger about mostly nothing.

Step 18:  Go super duper knee grow Saiyan angry to the point that you now turn up the anger to run off black people who may have once supported you but they too got tired of getting angry at reading your angry shit day in and day out.  These niggas decided that there’s more to life than social media anger.

Step 19:   Become so angry that now your anger turns on other people in your social justice warrior or super duper pro-black tribe to where you know must resort to screenshot/dragging & FB live sessions to prove just how angry you can get at other black people…yet hardly ever showing that level of anger towards white people.

Step 20:  Spend the rest of your days living in social media anger hoping you can attract & procreate with another social media angry person so that you can produce future social media angry babies to keep your lineage of social media anger moving forward long after your social media anger takes you to an early grave with a tombstone that says, “Here lies one angry ass social media nigga…”.

And that’s pretty much the steps to becoming a social justice warrior or a super duper pro-black.

Your favorite mulatto.
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