All These Dudes Getting Called Out for Sexual Harassment is Exactly Why I Question Who Gives Me Dating Advice

By:  H.T., Website:  Rogue Black Nerd

In light of apparently a fuck ton of men on Twitter be outed as sexual predators ALONG with the daily outing of men in Hollywood who are sexual predators, let me take this time out to simply say that THIS is why I have always been apprehensive of who gives me dating advice.  As I write this, I will leave for a date that I got following Gil’s advice about believing in myself and confidence, meanwhile a lot of my peers give me advice that if you put it in perspective, it does sound incredibly dangerous as modern logic would dictate that their advice would result in potentially catching a charge, if not just being labeled a creep.  “But all the girls we be fucking like it when you get them drunk and grope them.”  Okay that’s YOU.  As for ME, I don’t feel comfortable with that as even if she accepts it, the next girl might not.  Therefore, it’s just best to not do it.  Not to pass moral judgement on these women, but the ones that tend to be okay with this kinda shit are never my type.  I’m not looking for a nun, but I’m also not looking for Ava Devine.  I’d like a nifty balance.

The problem at hand is that to put it bluntly, Charlamagne Tha God was right, a lot of young men were raised to believe rape culture was the norm in how we relate to women physically or sexually.  Whether it’s aggressive pursuits of contact information, following a woman around a venue, getting a woman intoxicated to get sex from her or just unwanted physical contact, these sorts of things have been considered the norm in terms of men getting sex or even dates from women.  Speaking for myself, I can tell you with a straight face that in my attempts at trying any of this shit it has ended badly.  And the one thing that the teachers, the parents and the women themselves said was that at no point did I NEED to do any of this just for attention from a girl.  The fact is, the idea that this is what a man does to get a woman’s affections comes more from the ideas of courtship that was developed back during times when women essentially had no rights.  Women nowadays, despite some obstacles, do very much have rights and can say no, but because A) some men refuse to let go of the past and B) some women indulge these power fantasies, these ideas persist.  While I don’t entirely blame one side for this, it must be said that to a degree, this goes on because so many men still get rewarded for their toxic behavior.  This is why I refuse to take part in it.  Every criminal has seen a guy who wasn’t truly cut out for the life of one, every athlete has met another athlete who wasn’t cut out to stay on the team, and plenty of men who spent their lives being a player has looked at me and realized I wasn’t cut out to be one myself.

“But you just need confidence, and swag and to dress better…”.  I’ll give you dress better, but the fact remains that the way my confidence exists, I don’t feel confident making women uncomfortable, and I can clearly tell when a woman isn’t in the mood to talk like this or has gotten sadly used to such harassment.  Like when I went to a restaurant with friends, two of them kept aggressively flirting with the waitress.  Now, was she uncomfortable?  As far as I could tell, she seemed flattered and is used to guys shooting their shot with her.  But when they started referring to her as “my wife” I could see her getting a bit creeped out.  Still, she gave one of them her snapchat.  I should also add that she openly mentioned she has a boyfriend.

In this day and age, such actions do not bode well period.  Even if the women you did this to were for it, the fact remains that that at some point this won’t work across the board.  As much as people hate it, the “angry feminists” have more pull these days and will gladly get you or anyone else out the paint if they feel they are a creeper to women.  Fact is, even being a good looking guy who is a total creep to women doesn’t cut it anymore.  Everyone who complained that women pick bad men are now getting their solution as now being not a creep in the new wave.  And I’m here for it.

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