Kinfolk Kollective Might Be on to Something with This Post…

By:  H.T.

Let me start by saying I am still attracted to plenty of black women.  The friend I have alluded to in past articles is black (though she’s mixed with other races, but is dark skinned).  I think Lupita Nyongo is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen.  And Michaela Coel & Susie Wokoma drive me wild.  So, despite having a white girlfriend, I’m not blind to attractive women who are also black.

Now, I say all of this to touch on something Asher brought to my attention.  Apparently, over at the Kinfolk Kollective there was a post about anti-blackness and attraction.  And well, shit got out of hand.  First things first, I can admit there isn’t a sense of self-hate when it comes to black people not being attracted to other black people as I’ve met black people raised in the sticks who still were attracted to other black people, so at a point, it really falls on one’s choices.

However, one of the misconceptions about interracial dating that was exasperated because of Get Out is that interracial dating equals that the black person being indoctrinated into the idea of white supremacy being normalized.  If anything, people dating outside their race have taken on an additional challenge in dating white people, let alone marrying and having kids by them as now you have to deal with a culture that on a macro level is hostile to you but even on a micro level it’s still uncomfortable.

One example of this was when I was meeting my girlfriend’s family and one of her cousins is Filipino and German and her husband is, well, as white as the rest of the family.  When we were talking she said something that stuck with me:  she mentioned that because she’s already half white and her husband is white, she noted that “her kids will likely grow up never realizing they’re Filipino”.  And she’s not the only one with this issue.

Fact is, there is a difference between not being attracted to other black people and sucking it up and expanding your pool and dealing with the uncomfortable truth that even if they accept you, they’ll never fully understand you.  But when it comes to the black people who aren’t attracted to other black people, I just rack it up to hypergamy fueled by self-hate.  Hypergamy because the belief is that by sticking to races outside black people, the belief is that they can marry their way out of blackness and be accepted in a society that will view them as special.  But alas, this just isn’t true.  Even the Latino community tried this when the Cuban communities started being anti-black to fit in with white Floridians but still faced racism.  And I already shared a story of what Asians face dealing with the white community.

Despite writing that blerd men should date outside their race, I can agree that it’s not easier by definition.  We could find love outside our race, but there are still issues anyone would face.  But to say as a black person that you don’t like black people is a self-imposed issue.  Every ethnic group can produce attractive people, so to say THIS ONE SECTION of humans can’t produce attractive people is, by definition, racism.

So as much as I hate to say it, Kinfolk Kollective is right.

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