Random Thoughts About Wypipo, Ancient Egyptians & Sunscreen

The other day I was going into a local corner store up the street from my house.  As I’m walking up to the door, a white woman dressed in some shorts & bikini top was approaching the door at the same time I was.  So I grabbed the door, let her go in first, then I proceeded to follow.  While I was entering the store after her I noticed that her skin was hella red appearing to have suffered from overexposure to the sun.  When I say red, that shit looked painful.  I assumed that later on her skin would probably be cracking & peeling as she tried to treat that burn.  Anyways, I proceeded to get my items out of the store and return to my car.  As I sat in my car getting ready to leave a thought immediately rushed into my head and that thought was:

Ancient Egypt.

Ancient Egypt?  Yes, ancient Egypt.

You see a few days prior to that I read an article on the Daily Mail trying to claim that ancient Egyptian mummies dating back from 1400 BC to 400 AD were more genetically related to ancient populations in modern day Turkey, Syria, Jordan, Israel & Lebanon.  Basically in a nutshell, the article stated that these particular mummies were not African…in knee grow terms, they weren’t black.  The interesting thing about this article is that, the article could quite possibly be correct to a degree due to the heavy European & Arab influence upon ancient Egypt of THAT particular time frame which more than likely contributed to the Arab look of modern day Egyptians today.  The reason why I could possibly concede that argument somewhat is due to one of the most famous Egyptian rulers in all of history:  Cleopatra.  Cleopatra herself is believed by many historians to be of mixed race consisting of Egyptian (African) & Macedonian (European).  Another aspect about Cleopatra is that she was the mistress to Julius Caesar, Rome’s most famous emperor which she ended up giving birth their son Ptolemy Caesar in 47 BC.

I mention all of this about Cleopatra and these mummies to point out European influence during that time frame was pretty heavy and that time frame falls right in line with that of Cleopatra & Julius Caesar lives.  Now how this all relates to sunscreen & whether or not the ancient Egyptians were essentially Europeans (a bunch of non-melanated people as depicted in damn near every movie) is this here:  white people will use this article to “prove” that ancient Egyptians were not black.  They will use this article to further reinforce their belief that black people were not intelligent enough to construct the great monuments of Egypt such as the Great Pyramid and the Great Sphinx of Giza.  White people for years have been running around doing their damndest to convince the world that it was white people who built those great monuments and that ancient Egypt was a white civilization started by a bunch of Europeans who migrated down to Africa, and this article will help champion their belief of this to be true.

But here’s the problem with all of this here:  The Great Pyramid & the Great Sphinx were constructed 1000 years prior to the dating of those mummies that the article in the Daily Mail are trying to claim as non-African.  White people have this tendency to hang on to dear life for Cleopatra as not being African because she is born of a mixed race to the point where too many white people honestly believe that ALL ancient Egyptians were essentially just a mixed race of people, and the movie Cleopatra starring Elizabeth Taylor helped to solidify in white people’s minds that ancient Egyptians were everything BUT black.  So any and everything related to ancient Egypt in their minds was not of any African/black creation…it was all white (or mixed race) if you let them tell it.  But once again, if we were to go strictly by Cleopatra and her being a mixed race person, the Great Pyramid & the Great Sphinx were constructed 2500 YEARS BEFORE Cleopatra was even born.  Yes, 2500 YEARS.  Cleopatra was born in 69 BC.  I honestly think too many people fail to realize just how extensive the history of ancient Egypt truly is.

Let’s get back to this sunscreen…

Now that I’ve informed you (in case you didn’t know) that the great pyramids of Egypt along with their other most famous monuments being constructed at least 1000 years prior to those mummies the Daily Mail claims to be more European & Arab than African and I’ve also informed you that white people’s most cherished ancient Egyptian pharoah by the name of Cleopatra was born 2500 years AFTER these monuments were built, the question that I have to ask is this:

How in the hell would white people have survived the intense heat & the sun of ancient Egypt when here we are in 2017, white people have failed to produce a sunscreen formula to keep them from cooking in the sun?  How sway?

I’ve never been to Egypt, but I have spent a year of my life literally living in the desert of Kuwait back in 2006, which geographically speaking is not too far away from Egypt.  For those of you who have never been to that part of the world, when you look up in the sky to see the sun, the sun looks like it is so damn close to the earth that you honestly believe you can reach out & touch it.  The sun is literally sitting in the sky beating down on you as if you are an hour old hamburger at Burger King that’s been sitting under the hot lights waiting for some customer to buy you.  Seriously.

Twenty years ago I used to work at clothing store in this outlet mall down in Orlando called Pointe Orlando.  Pointe Orlando is on this street called International Drive.  International Drive (I-Drive) is nothing more than another tourist attraction.  Anyways, while I was working in the clothing store, a white woman from England came into the store bright red, chugging water & soaking up every ounce of AC she could get because her body just could not handle the Florida heat.  She looked over at me and noticed I was wearing jeans.  She then asked me how in the world can I survive down here wearing jeans.  I just looked at her & told her that I’m from here…so I’m good.  She then asked me how in the world do people survive down here without wearing sunscreen.  This time I told here that I was born with a natural sunscreen called melanin.  She looked perplexed, drank her water and left.  For those of you who have never visited Orlando, FL we have a lot of Europeans come visit Disney World, Universal Studios & all of the other touristy stuff.  One of the things these Europeans are known for doing is literally slathering on layers & layers of sunscreen onto their bodies to where they honestly look like greasy pigs, and I’m not saying that to be demeaning.  I’m simply telling you that they have so much of this stuff lathered on their bodies that one would think they just jumped into a swimming pool full of Crisco grease to prepare to hop their asses into the oven to be cooked.  Put it like this, white people from Europe (and white Americans from up north and other places) who come to visit Orlando are quite possibly the sole reason these sunscreen companies are still in business.

Anyways, what’s this got to do with ancient Egypt?

Ok.  So here’s the deal.  If in the year 2017 white people have failed to produce a sunscreen formula that can actually protect themselves from the sun, then how in the hell can white people honestly sit up here with a straight face & claim that ancient Egypt was a non-black country?  How can they honestly sit up here & proclaim that all of the ancient great monuments & structures were built by non-black people (despite the evidence of the ancients literally drawing themselves on the walls of these monuments)?  If a white person can’t survive the Florida sun, then how in the hell could a white person from Europe survive the sun in ancient Egypt when it came to the construction of the Great Pyramid etc?  It literally doesn’t make any damn sense at all.  Literally.  The mummy article, I can possibly concede that point due the rise of the Roman Empire during that time frame, but still, 2500 years BEFORE all of this alleged European “greatness” sprung about when African greatness was thriving, what in the hell was really going on in Europe beside barbarism for the most part?  Seriously?  So you mean to tell me a bunch of people in Europe 2500 years before the glory days of the Roman Empire were responsible for the great monuments of ancient Egypt?  C’mon son.  Be real.  The reason why I’m harping on ancient Rome is because quite literally when it comes to European history, nothing significant took place before that.  Nothing.  So a bunch of people who accomplished nothing of real significance prior to April 21, 753 BC (the day Rome was believed to be founded) actually were responsible for a great civilization that predates ancient Rome by almost 2000 years?  You mean to tell me, a white person in the year 2017 who’s body cannot handle the sun here in America for more than 15 minutes could honestly handle the sun in ancient Egypt to devise & construct a great monument such as the Great Pyramid of Giza?  Get the complete fuck all the way outta here with the bullshit.  There’s just no fucking way.

But, in an effort to hang out to their white denial, some of these idiots will retort to saying, “Aliens built the pyramids!” as another way to avoid giving credit where credit is due:  BLACK PEOPLE WERE THE ANCIENT EGYPTIANS responsible for all of the greatness which has caused white people to romanticize the hell out of ancient Egypt.

You muthafuggas can’t even sit in the sun for 10 minutes without risking skin cancer…yet you all are responsible for all of the greatness of ancient Egypt.

Your favorite mulatto who isn’t interested in your feels.
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