Many who have known me over the years know that I am usually attracted to and date women that are older than me. My ex-wife is seven years older, and the max age in difference myself and someone I dated is 12 years. As I get older, the gap in age difference is closer, but the attraction to “real grown women” hasn’t changed. I don’t even flinch when my friends joke with me saying things like, “These ladies better watch their moms.” (Hell, in some cases that is true.) LOL…
I was recently at a blogging conference where a plethora of beautiful sistas were in attendance. I kept it cool though being around all that beauty and brains (as well as common interests) was sometimes overwhelming. One in particular kept my attention (though from a distance), and I unfortunately never got the chance to speak to her that way that I would liked. She was older than me (not sure how much older), and she had this sense of fun and air of regality that emanated from her. Whew….
As I sat in one of the sessions this past weekend, my mind’s stream of consciousness veered off into thinking about why I shamelessly like older women like the one attending the conference. I will share a few reasons that come to mind.
Maybe I think it is related to growing up around a lot of beautiful women including aunties, teachers, etc. Maybe something sparked in my young mind that still resonates with me now. I don’t know. Maybe my old soul was more mature than my age, and it had a thirst to coincide with girls/women similar in age of my soul…maybe. Maybe I just recognize that older women (not all though…to be clear) usually don’t have time for the games after learning from their past lessons or have better things in their present to do. They usually know who they are and what they won’t deal with. Maybe it is a mixture of the above and more.
I will say this though. Dating older women didn’t necessarily mean that I was dating better. Check this… I have realized that sometimes dating older women is just dating…older girls. There is a sense of deeper disappointment when a 47 year old does trifling crap or acts on the maturity level of a 24 year old. Sooooo disappointing!! Though human, I guess I expect much more maturity, less drama, and a sense that they know what they want therefore adding to my disappointment. (Trust me…I got horror stories for days!!)
While in my distracted mental state during the conference, I thought of a discussion that I had a long time ago. What are the levels or names assigned to women as they get older? Are they appropriate?
As stated in the title, I am talking about the cat related names that we have all come to use and love. LOL. I can remember debates about what are the proper age ranges for each title. The definitions changes regionally and even by perspective, but the rationales are usually the same. Let me list the age ranges and cat titles as I use them.
Thundercats – The youngins. Usually around 20 – 30 in age. Cute, vivacious, and energetic. Usually maturity is lacking, and the desire for fun and entertainment is high.
Cubs – The mid-range age beauties. Usually between 30 – 36ish. Definitely more mature than the Thundercats. This seems to be the age range where ambition and goal-setting is at the highest and the crossroads time between immaturity and maturity.
Pumas – My preferred range. From knocking on 40 to the late 40s. They usually have learned from their mistakes and have grown comfortable with who they are and what they want (including appearance, sexuality, and life goals). While some are just figuring it all out, some are rebuilding. (Extra shout out to all of the beautiful Pumas out there!!)
Cougars – The original term and widest range. 50 and up. Usually seen as more aggressive, fully comfortable in their own skin, and taking no bullshit (because they have no time for BS). There are some gorgeous Cougars out there who can still hang with the Thundercats and Cubs…watch out now!!
I have heard variations of the terms. I have heard ladies in the Cougar range being called Thundercats. I have heard Pumas being called Cougars. Whatever. It doesn’t change anything. My attraction remains the same. Personally, I go no lower than Cubs regardless of looks. Maturity is attractive. I am not above dating a Cougar either, and I have…in the past. Will I trade young, energetic perkiness for seasoned, softer femininity when the choice is presented? Shiii…..damn near every time!
I did a little research on how and why women are grouped into age categories that are aligned with a particular cat species (except for Thundercats…lol). Actually, in studying the cats mentioned, there are some descriptions fitting for the stereotypical characteristics of women in the age ranges including level of supposed aggressiveness in dating, eagerness, and how they go in for “the kill”. (Yes, there is an article that compares aggressive dating women to how wild cats kill their prey…true talk.)
In summary, I prefer the attention, touch, and time of a woman slightly (relative term) older then me compared to a younger one. My preference doesn’t necessarily make dating easier, but it may have made it more fulfilling….maybe. Ladies, laugh and debate among yourselves which category that you belong in. I am curious of your comments.
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