Listen Black People…You Did Not Descend From An Egyptian King or Queen

When Black people refer to themselves as Kings & Queens, there is a segment of the population who do it purely as a term of endearment.  Reason being is because Black people are taught that our history starts at American slavery & that’s it.  So in order to develop a deeper sense of pride & appreciation, some of us bestow the titles of King & Queen upon one another opposed to referring to each other as…well…slave.

Then there is the other population…

There is also another population of Black people who love to remind everybody that Black people are Kings & Queens.  This population is known as the Hotep Tribe hailing from the ancient land of Blacklantis where they make it their business to unapologetically inform everybody they come into contact with that Black people descended from Kings & Queens.  Not just any ole random King & Queen tho.  More specifically, they are referring to the ancient Kings & Queens of Egypt.  The Hotep Tribe goes all out to ensure that if you are Black, you know exactly what your “true” history is.  In some ways I admire this tribe for simply trying to instill a sense of pride in a bunch of lost & clueless Black people who know absolutely shit about Black history beyond slavery.  So I can’t completely shit on this tribe….but, they have to stop lying to people.

Here’s the real deal…

Damn near every single African slave brought over to the Americas came from mainly 2 countries in Africa:  Senegambia (Senegal) & Angola.  Both of these countries are on the west coast of Africa & neither one of these countries are no where near Egypt.

“B-b-but how do you know that???”

Simple.  There’s this little thing called mitochondrial DNA which all women pass down to their kids.  Without getting too smarty-arty & all scientific and shit, a person’s roots can literally be traced back thousands of years following the mitochondrial “trail” of women in one’s family tree.  And for most Black people whose ancestors came over here as slaves, damn near every slave in the Americas mitochondrial DNA can be traced back to Senegambia & Angola.  The vast majority came from Angola.  Why Angola?  Well first you have to understand that it is estimated that 5 million African slaves were taken from Africa & approximately half of those slaves ended up in Brazil in South America.  Next you have to look at the geographic locations of Angola & Brazil.  It is literally a shorter trip from Angola, Africa to Brazil, South America than it is to go up to the Caribbean & North America from Angola or Senegambia.

For the other 2.5 million African slaves that didn’t end up in Brazil but ended up in North America & the Caribbean, most of these slaves came from Senegambia & about a quarter of them came from Angola.  Out of the slaves that wound up in the Caribbean & the US, it is estimated that only about 400,000 of those slaves actually ended up in the US during the entire course of the slave trade.  Out of that 400,000, it is further estimated that approximately 100,000 of these slaves came from Angola.  So even here in America, a Black person has a 1 in 4 chance of having his/her roots traced back to Angola as well.

So what does this have to do with being Kings & Queens from Egypt?

Well, since you asked…not a damn thing.

Damn near every Black person whose ancestors started off as slaves in America DID NOT come from Egypt.  As a matter of fact if you were a slaver back in those days responsible for capturing slaves to be sold later on in just the US only, it wouldn’t make any damn financial sense to travel to Egypt to extract slaves.  Do you know how damn big the continent of Africa is?  For those of you who don’t know, here’s a description:  Africa is so damn big that you can fit the ENTIRE continental United States (all 3 thousand miles from east to west coast) comfortably INSIDE the continent of Africa with room to spare.  So now imagine being an African slaver.  Imagine having to sail your slave ship from Charleston SC all the way to the Strait of Gibraltar to enter the Mediterranean Sea to travel an additional approximated 3,000 miles minimum just to get to Egypt to round up some slaves.  Then imagine having to make the return trip.  Since slavery was all about money, it makes absolutely no damn financial sense to travel an additional 6,000 miles on top of the miles you must travel to go back & forth across the Atlantic just so you can get you some slaves from Egypt.  No $en$e at all.

So where does this leave us?

More than likely that member of the Hotep Tribe trying to convince you that you descended from the Kings & Queens of ancient Egypt are full of shit.  To be honest, most of these dudes (because that’s what the majority of this tribe is comprised of) are doing nothing but engaging in faux Black historical mental masturbation in an effort to try to get some pussy.  That’s it.  They figure if they can come off sounding all extra smarty-arty & intelligent by informing you that Egypt’s real name is Kemet (its for real for real name is actually KM.T…spelled just like that) that, if you are a woman of course, the panties will get extra moist as they mesmerize your mind with elaborate talk of being former Kings & Queens.  That’s the real game.

What they don’t want to tell you is that more than likely you did not descend from a King or Queen.  For the sake of pretending, let’s just say that some Black people actually did (which could be possible considering ancient Egypt wasn’t the only African country with Kings & Queens)…how many damn kings & queens do you actually think existed in Africa?  Just take a wild guess.  Just out of the 400,000 slaves that ended up in the US, do you think all 400,000 actually descended from a king or queen?  Get real.  Somebody had to have descended from the every day average person living their life all the way down to the dude responsible for collecting animal shit.  I know that’s not sexy or glamorous, but it’s the truth.

But why do they claim Egypt so much?

Simple.  Because white society has romanticized the shit out of ancient Egypt, and we all know how Black people love to have white people tell us what we should or shouldn’t like.  If white people romanticized the shit out of ancient Ehtiopia instead of ancient Egypt, every Hotep member would claim Ethiopia & know Ethiopian history like it’s nobody’s business.

So in the end my Kings & Queens, maybe 1 or 2 of you actually did descend from an African king or queen coming out of Senegambia or Angola led by a great warrior-king similar to that of Shaka Zulu (which is actually more plausible than an Egyptian king/queen considering the Zulu Kingdom was literally next door to Angola).  Maybe a few of you descended from some African family of nobility.  Maybe a few of you descended from just an everyday average African just trying to live day to day.  But let’s stop pretending like some of you didn’t descend from an ancient jump off, side piece, hoodrat, double dick clutching chick, bummy ass dude, or the nigga tasked with collecting animal shit.

Everybody didn’t come from a King or Queen my brothas & sistas.


PS:  Check out all the angry Hotep comments below trying desperately to hold on to greatness from 5000 years or so ago.  Be amazing if they applied this energy into something beneficial that could create a new legacy of greatness today leading into the future…but no, just more mental masturbation.

Your favorite mulatto.
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