I’ve been married to the mother of my two kids for 9 years & some change now, so I’ll admit, I’m not worried about child support payments & don’t foresee myself ever having to worry about that problem for the foreseeable future. But I can understand how people who are not in my situation may experience some bullshit in relation to paying child support. It’s just one of the consequences of not choosing the proper mate to procreate with I suppose. I really don’t know. What I do know is those on the receiving end of the child support (I’m assuming mostly women), these people have a higher probability of getting over when it comes to receiving child support payments than the person paying the money out every month. What exactly do I mean by getting over? Glad you asked. Currently through my understanding based upon very limited knowledge & my intellectual laziness of not giving a damn to actually research this shit, men bear the brunt of the responsibility to ensure these child support payments are paid on time each & every month and women…they just collect the money & are SUPPOSED to apply that money towards the welfare of the child. Yes I know there are single fathers collecting child support from women. I got it. But for the sake of this article I’m just going to place men in the role of paying & women in the role of receiving. Any gender inequality issues you may have with this article, go tell it to someone that gives a damn. Moving on.
Now where was I…oh yeah, so once again due to my very limited knowledge & my unwillingness to research this topic beyond the thoughts that pop into my head as I’m writing this, men who pay child support money must ensure they make these monthly payments on time or they run the risk of either dealing with back payment penalties & fines OR run the risk of getting locked up in jail. Women on the other hand, well all they have to do is collect the check under the BELIEF that the child support money will be properly applied to the welfare of the child that the money is being allocated to. I say BELIEF in all caps because that is exactly what it is…a belief. Men are expected to BELIEVE that the mother of his kid will be properly using that money to take care of the child, but how is the man to ever truly know? What actual documented proof does a man have access to in order to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the money he pays out monthly is actually going to the kid & the kid only? I’ll let you in on a little secret: THERE IS NO PROOF, just the word of the woman he makes the payments to. If she says she spent all of that money on the child, then that’s it. He has to BELIEVE & accept her word for it no questions asked. Meanwhile, when it comes to the man paying those monthly payments, there is no honor system in place that runs off of the belief that he is making those payments. There is a paper trail in place to ensure he is making those payments. So how come there is no paper trail for the woman to ensure she is properly applying this money towards the welfare of the child? Simple, a paper trail would give a woman a disadvantage in court & we all know how courts tend to favor women 99% of the time in issues of custody or child support. An audit of how the money is being spent might actually expose a lot of women who are purposely being fraudulent with child support money. You know, spending some of the child support money on the kid and then taking a portion of that money to get her hair & nails done and later on claiming that either the dude isn’t paying enough or he didn’t pay at all that month. Don’t act like I’m making this shit up. We’ve all seen enough TV court shows or actually know women in real life who do similar shit. So what’s the issue with creating a system to verify the spending of the child support money in order to prove that every cent allocated towards child support is actually being spent on the welfare of the child?
According to a few women on Facebook with whom I spent a few hours debating this topic with, women tell me:
1. It would be a huge waste of the courts time to go through a bunch of receipts if the child is not being neglected and the parent is only paying a small fraction of what it actually costs to raise a child.
A huge waste of time. Really? Is it a huge waste of time for the courts to dig through the receipts to see if a man is actually making child support payments? No. Is it a huge waste of time to initiate the process of actually putting a man on child support from the jump? No. So it’s ONLY a huge waste of time if there is a requirement placed upon the woman to actually prove what she is doing with the child support check. I mean after all, if it wasn’t for the countless women out there who purposely misuse child support funds, then we wouldn’t even be entertaining this idea at all right?
2. Keeping track of receipts is too much work. There are just too many things a parent has to buy for a kid that makes keeping track of receipts damn near impossible. It’s petty.
Really? As mentioned earlier, my wife & I have 2 kids. My wife & I do not spend money EVERY SINGLE DAY on our two children. Seriously, the average person in America does not spend money on their kids every single day. If they do, they are idiots with no desire to become financial stable.
Here is the reality about receipts (understand I’ve never been mandated to pay child support):
Exactly what is the intended purpose of child support? The intended purpose is for the man to offset the cost the mother would incur from raising her child alone. That’s basically it. We all know children are expensive but let’s not act like parents are dropping racks every single day on their kids. It’s just not happening which is why I do not want to hear this “keeping track of receipts is too much work” foolishness.
Let’s analyze these receipts:
Listen, my above list is just the basic bare necessities I can think of when it comes to making sure a child is properly cared for. I am also purposely neglecting to discuss how much income the woman may be bringing into her household to contribute to the pool of money for taking care of her kid. I’m sure I’m leaving out a few expenses here & there but even so, a sane person is NOT spending money every single day on their kid to the point where they cannot keep track of the money they’ve actually spent on their kid. In the above examples, that’s about 13 damn receipts right there. You mean to tell me, you as a woman can’t keep track of 13 damn receipts each month that can actually prove my child support money is actually being properly applied to my kid? Seriously?
3. It’s not your money! It’s the child’s money. None of it is your money. Only the child should use it.
Really? It’s not my money? So let me get this straight. I as man must go to work everyday to earn an income so I can meet my monthly requirement of paying you child support so I that I don’t get penalized or tossed in jail…yet you are telling me that this is not my money & I shouldn’t be concerned with how the money is being spent. Really??? Is this what some of you women really believe? If that’s the case, then how much of YOUR MONEY can we legally declare to be the child’s money as well?
“None of it is your money. Only the child should use it.” Ok. Well exactly how do we go about PROVING that the child is ONLY using the money & not the mother for her personal benefit? Some random woman out there reading this blog post, please explain to me exactly how does a man prove that the child support payments he is making are actually being 100% strictly applied to the benefit of the child. How can a man prove that if women are determined to not provide documented proof of how the money is being spent? WE CAN’T! And you women know this. So if we ever had to go back to court over child support issues & if I ever found myself explaining to the judge why I believe you to be not properly spending the child support money in the manner it was intended, the first thing the judge is going to demand from me is proof. Proof that can backup my claims of you misappropriating my child support payments. Guess what, how can I prove that if there is no system in place as to where I can provide documented proof of every transaction that occurred with the money I’ve paid you in relation to our child? I can’t & you women know this.
I’ll just be blunt about this. Women who oppose a checks & balances system that provides a paper trail & audit system to not only ensure men are paying their monthly child support payments BUT also demands documented proof from women on how the money is being applied…these women are just full of shit & looking to get over & defraud the system plain & simple. There is no simple way of putting it. If you as a woman can conjure up every excuse in the world to justify why you believe you should not have to provide documented proof of how child support money is being spent, then more than likely you are not using the money 100% on the child. More than likely the money being paid out for child support is being spent on your personal needs, wants, & luxuries as well. Just keep it real. There is no logical reasoning you can produce to convince any real man with intelligence that you should not have to be held accountable for how you spend child support money. None whatsoever.
In a perfect world, child support issues would be worked out by the parents with no court involvement, but we all know that ain’t never gonna happen. Luckily for me, in real life I don’t have to worry about this bullshit. For the rest of you knee grows out there going through it everyday with your baby mamas, I feel for you but always remember…you chose to skeet up in that chick & these are just some of the side effects of that skeeting. But as far as the child support money goes, you damn right there should be a system in place that can verify how that money is being spent. If you are a mother who is doing all of the right things with her child support, then providing documented proof shouldn’t even be a problem. Aside from the documented proof possibly protecting the man legally in court, this same documented proof can be used in your favor to explain to the judge why you might need more due to inflation or the cost of living. Just give the brotha some damn copies of the receipts, how hard is that? It’s only hard if you are trying to scheme the system.