I saw a hashtag on Twitter today called #GrowingUpBlack & I found this hashtag bringing back some good ole memories of yesteryear. As I was getting a lil emotional from the feelings of nostalgia reading them, a few of my fondest #GrowingUpBlack moments popped up in my head as such:
1. Everybody who either had a German Shepherd, pit bull, or Rottweiler named their dog King. If your family owned a black cat, that cat’s name was Ebony.
2. Saturday mornings were strictly reserved for cleaning the house and developing an unconscious awareness for the appreciation of 60s, 70s, and early 80s funk & soul music.
3. There was a candy lady hustling Lemon Heads, Boston Baked Beans, Nerds, Nowalaters (yes I spelled it correctly), & oatmeal cream pies on every street.
4. Your mama or your grandmama telling you to close her screen door to keep the bugs from coming in the house, yet totally neglecting all of the big holes & tears in the screen door.
5. There was always that one fine ass mama that came up to the school cause her kid was messing up & all the dudes be like “DAMN…YOUR MAMA FINE AS HELL!” You be like “Shut up! Stop looking at my mama!”
6. The day your dad figured he could save some money by cutting your hair knowing damn well he never used a pair clippers in his life.
7. When one of your siblings got an ass whooping, EVERYBODY got an ass whooping. Then while your brother or sister is getting their ass whooped, you’re over in the corner laughing your ass off until it’s your turn.
8. Trying to decide which was worse: your dad’s fat belt or your mom’s skinny leather belt she would beat you with as soon as you hopped up out of the tub.
9. Speaking of tubs….saving the bath water for your sibling to use next. Reflecting back on that now…that was just pure nasty.
10. Going to grandma’s house & seeing the Black version of the Last Supper hanging on the wall.
11. Going to grandma’s house & seeing a giant wooden spoon & fork hanging on the wall.
12. Going to grandma’s house & that elderly relative that lived in that back room that never came out that was creepy as hell & smelled like old person.
13. Going to grandma’s house & that one uncle that never moved out. Matter of fact, his ass is still there.
14. We all had 3 sets of outfits: school clothes, play clothes, & church clothes.
15. Going to grandma’s house & seeing that new TV sitting on top of the old floor model TV.
16. When getting into a fight, your biggest fear wasn’t losing the fight to the other kid, but getting your ass whooped by your mom or dad for losing the fight to the other kid.
17. Asking your mom can you get some McDonald’s & your mom telling you she can make a better hamburger than McDonald’s only to discover that burger is just a big ball of greasy ass meat slapped between two slices of bread.
18. When the street lights came on & you turned into Usain Bolt trying to get back into the house.
19. “Imma tell your daddy!” was the scariest thing you’ve ever heard.
20. The day your mom or dad threatened to come up to your school the next day cause you were acting up & you ended up being on your best behavior all day that day.
21. Never truly understanding what the phrase “cotton-picking nerves” meant.
22. Before you can finish even asking a question the answer was NO.
23. Getting the “Don’t touch nothing or ask for nothing” speech before going into a store.
24. Never fully understanding why grandma had plastic on her couches.
25. Fried bologna sammiches.