I have been hearing variations of the phrase, “People make time for what they want,” a lot lately. It is usually in the context of being too busy to date or how others want you to date them. Honestly, I hate the phrase. Alone it holds truth but not without caveats that differ for everybody. Yes, it is true that people make time for what they want, but different passions and priorities make for divergent agendas and desires. Follow me….
A while ago, I had this epiphany about wanting (needing) to take my writing to the next level as I work on my second novel. A lot of life lessons came from writing and publishing the first including the fact that all people don’t hold the same passion that you do for your craft. The process is very time-consuming, but rewarding. Support varies (and is greatly appreciated by the way), but it is foolish to think that all bear the same excitement for what makes you happy and feel fulfilled.
Regardless, the passion that drives most writers and artists of any type sometimes stands above friendships, recreation, sleep, and other things. I am talking about that type of artistic passion that bombards your thoughts at any given time despite what is going on. It also makes dating quite difficult sometimes.
I noticed how some of the people who I was “getting to know” over the course of my journey in literary arts (as well as other hustles) are excited to see one’s determination and work ethic until it pushes their time with you aside too many times. We often give a pass for people with other obligations like raising young children, doing community service, and working on graduate degrees. Talking to other creative types, it is often that the same passes are seldom given during the grind times, or there is toleration during times of success. Unless you find an artist in the same field or a person as passionate about what you do, someone usually ends up disappointed. Yeah, yeah, yeah…it is not a question of making time for someone who likes you and want to be with you. It is expected and mutually desired. The issue comes in when the support isn’t there or when your time with them collides with your passion.
It is a difficult paradox to balance or prioritize the passions that drive us to write that next chapter or rap lyric, paint a masterpiece, or mold a new figurine versus wanting to spend time (and be passionate) with someone that makes our hearts flutter with lust and love. I heard many women say, whether to me or not, that they want to be a man’s top priority. Maybe that is fair…I guess, but we artistic types tend to want to share that top spot with our chosen passionate path.
In the end, we remember those that are down with us during the hard and busy times, and we want them to be there to celebrate with us when we come out on top. Hell, what is success if you have no one to share it with? At the same time, I don’t expect anyone to forever be patient until my late nights, conference calls, and business engagements pay off. Maybe it is a blessing (or a vetting process) to figure out that some potential partners believe in you while others don’t really care. Maybe I just make a bad potential mate…lol. (Naw, that ain’t it…LOL.)
This song by Mali Music makes sense and kinda describes the plight.