Why Most Women Are Lonely On Valentine’s Day

photo credit:  Thomas Hawk

Why Some Ladies Are Not Valentine’s Day Material

It’s that time of the year again where men are bombarded with commercial after commercial reminding us to drop some money on flowers, candy, & jewelry for our woman or a woman we have a strong interest in.  This is also the time of the year where women can feel extra special and possibly rub their specialness in their friends’ faces by secretly comparing who received a better gift.  Finally, this is also that time of the year where some women love to profess to the world about how much they love themselves & why they do not need a man in their life.  The truth about the second category of women is this…these women are single…for a reason.  The tired excuse of good men are either dead, in jail, or gay is old & false.  The real reason these women are single is because they have forgotten how to act like women, which I shall explain…so keep reading.

**Side note:  I’ll probably be called a misogynistic pig even though I’m NOT…but then again, I’ve been called worse & simply don’t give a damn.***

3 Reasons Why Women Are Single & Will Not Be Getting Flowers On Valentine’s Day

1.  The Need  To Be Treated Equally On ALL Levels To A Man

There are too many women walking around the face of this earth whom feel they need to be treated equally on ALL levels to a man.  Now understand, I am not implying women are or should be treated as second class citizens, subservients, slaves, or whatever.  I’m talking about women who think that the basic roles of men & women that society has deemed acceptable since the beginning of time no longer need to existence due to their sex.  Things that society overall has viewed more of a man’s job, women now think they should be able to do as well.  For instance, I recently had a conversation with a woman who was pondering the idea of proposing to her man AND then she was discussing the possibility of her man taking HER last name.  First thing that ran through my head was WHERE THEY DO THAT AT?!  Since when did it become acceptable for women to get down on bended knee to propose to a man & ask him to take her last name?  As long as I can recall this has always been a role designated for a man (at least as far as a man doing the proposing…taking the last name is another article for another day…which is coming).

Another example of women wanting to do what is primarily designated for men is playing the provider role versus mastering the nurturing role.  Now, I understand if you are a single woman with kids then you have to do what you have to do for the sake of your children.  But if you are in an active relationship with a man who is the father or soon to be father of your kids, then you need to let this man handle his business in being the provider.  Him being the provider in no way insists that you play the role of a stay at home mom slaving away in the kitchen.   What I am implying is, it should be the man’s ultimate responsibility to ensure you and the children are taken care of to the best of his abilities whether you work or not.  His goal in life should be to ensure his family has all they need & could possibly want & anything the woman can bring the household should be viewed as extra.  Now call me misogynistic all you want, I don’t give a damn.  I come from a long line of men in my family who proudly took it upon themselves to make sure their families were taken care whether his woman could financially contribute or not.  I also come from a family full of women who understood their man’s role in taking care of his family to the best of his abilities and anything she could do to add to the overall value of the family was well appreciated.  So why should I change shit now?

Now if you women out there have a man who isn’t taking care of his responsibilities as a real man should & you are playing his role better than him, then you are at fault for tolerating that shit.  If your man is of sound body & mind & fully capable of working, then there is no reason for him to be laid up in the house watching TV all damn day while you are out grinding for the benefit of the family.  Also, if you are a woman who feels the need to push your man to the side and play his role, then that clown you are with is weak as hell period & needs to turn in his manhood card and start tucking his shit from now on.

No REAL man wants a woman who does not respect him as a man & prevents him from handling his business as a man to take care of his woman and/or family.  Call me or this principle old school but that’s the truth.  The only women that I tend to find that have issues with this are women who don’t have a man or can’t keep a man.  And guess what, they won’t be getting any flowers or candy for Valentine’s Day this year from a man.

2.  The Burning Desire To Proclaim Your Independence

I get it, I get it…I really do.  You can take care of yourself & do bad all by your damn self.  I get it….what else is new?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman who can take care of herself with or without a man.  In fact, it can come across extremely sexy but at the same time it can come across with a “fuck you” connotation.  Just like I outlined in the first point about how it is in a real man’s nature to take care of his woman…guess what, a real man doesn’t want to hear this shit about how you can handle your business and do bad all by yourself being thrown in his face every chance you get.  After a while of saying it, it gets to the point of…well, why the fuck are you with me then?  Get gone.

Regardless of if you can take care of yourself or not, a man needs to constantly feel like he can take care of his woman.  No real man wants to feel helpless or not needed.  No real man wants to be with a woman who makes him feel like he is inadequate in his responsibility of taking care of his woman.  No real man wants his woman throwing how she doesn’t need him in his face every 5 minutes.  A real man wants his woman to always look to him as her first line of defense in case shit starts to go wrong.  A real man wants his woman to respect his God given natural role as a protector & provider even if he isn’t the bread winner.  For you women out there who feel the need to constantly express to the world that you can do bad all by yourself, well…don’t expect any flowers or candy.  You so bad, go buy your own shit.

3.  The Need To Be The One Who Wears The Pants In The Relationship

A real man will ALWAYS lead the way while accepting constant input from his woman on how to get from point A to point B.

If the above sentence is too much for you to comprehend or you just flat out disagree with it, then it’s probably a reason why you are single or in a questionable relationship.  Every woman I know from the young to the old that are in meaningful relationships with a man understand & accept that their man is the head of their relationship.  Now you can base this on Biblical principles or just societal norms passed on through time…but it is what it is.  How many longterm meaningful relationships have you ever seen where the woman wears the pants in the relationship & is considered the leader?  This is not a sexist thing, this is simply understanding the basic roles of men & women.  I’ve been stressing this point the entire article.  NO REAL MAN WANTS A WOMAN WHO FEELS LIKE SHE DOESN’T NEED HIM, RESPECT HIM, OR ISN’T WILLING TO FOLLOW HIM.  If a woman is with a man and this man is of sound mind & body & she feels the need to take the lead in that relationship, you can bet your last dollar that relationship is headed for disaster.  I can’t think of one relationship from an average couple all the way to a celebrity couple where the woman is leading that relationship.  NOT ONE!  But guess what?  Women that are willing to accept the fact that their man wears the pants & is the captain of their ship, those are the women who tend to get married, start a family, build a life, and grow old with their man.  Point out one instance where it is the opposite way around.

For you women out there who prefer to wear the pants & be the captain of the ship…don’t expect any flowers or candy this year.  No real man is going for that shit.

Summary

A good man is a real man that will hold you down in the sense of having your back at all times, put the D on you, provide for & protect his woman/family, be honest in telling you about your flaws & victories, & will ALWAYS lead the way as he accepts constant input from you how to navigate from point A to point B.  That’s what real men do.

Unfortunately, it’s about to be some lonely depressed women on Valentine’s Day throwing up the bullshit facade of “I love me…I don’t need a man…I don’t need a gift for Valentine’s Day…blah blah blah.”  Stop lying to yourself.  You aren’t fooling anyone.  Being lonely is depressing, especially around this time of the year.  If you would let a real man do his job, those of you who are lonely this season might be receiving some flowers & candy and quite possibly have a penis to play with that doesn’t require batteries to operate.

Please understand that this whole article is pertaining to women who deal with or are afraid to deal with REAL MEN.  I’m not talking about these playa-playa type of clowns running around here.  If you are a woman who is about her business, then it should not be that hard for you to decipher between a REAL MAN and playa-playa type of fool running around.  It really isn’t that had to tell the difference ladies.

As always, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
Light skin dude with an opinion
  • Apryl Jones

    Let me start of by saying that I think maybe your intent may be to help those ladies out there who are single and ‘lonely’ on Valentines Day. I just have to say that when are we ever gonna put some of the responsibility on men to uphold their end of the bargain? It seems as though women are held to a set of stricter standards and not regarded as special if single. We have to stop blaming the ladies so much. It wasn’t cool when people were on the male bashing tip and it is just as uncool to be on a ‘you’re single and it’s because you don’t DESERVE to be in a relationship’ tip either. Can the ladies catch a break in this arena; can we give credit as to what the women are doing RIGHT and not so much as to what the women are doing WRONG. Ok I get it!!! I’m single, it’s my fault, and more importantly I’m not special!!! Isn’t that the message that men and other involved women are trying to relay. Is this Christian like? Are we promoting increased awareness or provoking self hate? Why are the men sooooo harsh on the ladies and regard them in such a inhumane, posessive, performance based: the glass is half empty not half full situation. Last time I checked living and life alone is not an easy task and no one should act as though they do not have their own demons to deal with and that neither the man nor the woman should have a ‘tap dance to my music or else’ mentality. I think we need to get back to being real. I don’t know if it is because we have adopted so much from other cultures in attempt to being more ‘evolved’ that we have forgotten the one thing the brings us to the head of the class and that is to continue to embracing one another and to struggle with each other and not put a set of westernized illusionist performance based idealism of self worth. That goes for both male and female. Mainly because love and life is precious and since we were made in HIS image and did nothing of our own to earn it no one is more or less ‘deserving’ of it than another. Simply put it is a blessing and while there are things to make oneself more attractive and appealing no one and I mean no one can say who will or won’t recieve that blessing of love and more importantly that it will or won’t last. So I just wish people would stop acting as though they have monopoly on something that when truly experienced can not be explained. Peace be unto you good friend!!

    • Gil

      This article really isn’t a matter of blaming women or men. This is really a matter of men & women understanding each other’s roles based off of societal norms that have been in place for literally thousands of years. Whether you draw these conclusions from religious texts or just what’s been passed down from generation to generation…fact remains, men have always been taught to lead, provide, & protect. It’s engrained in our DNA. So when a woman tries to “buck the system” so to speak…I don’t know of any real man that wants to provide & protect for his woman that’s going to sit back & let her play his position.

      I’ve yet to see it happen & that relationship goes on to flourish into something meaningful that can withstand the tests of time.

      • Apryl Jones

        That isn’t the point I was addressing, that men should lead and so forth. I am simply saying that the approach is not infused with love and encouragement….

        If you would let a real man do his job, those of you who are lonely this season might be receiving some flowers & candy and quite possibly have a penis to play with that doesn’t require batteries to operate.

        And whether it is your intent or not you have put more of the, I’ll say responsibility than blame, on the female. The men for one reason or another feel no since of loyalty, kinship, responsibility even as a leader as you put it. Seems as though the more wiser of the two would display more wisdom and patience. Maybe I am not putting it the right way but I know with anyone when I sincerely want them to change there is a way to approach and I ‘feel’ a lot of the ‘wisdom’ is infused with condescending tones as to those of progression; you know get more flies with honey. Besides if we want to talk about unattractive behavior the last thing a women ‘real’ or otherwise wants is to feel the pressure of the status quo. Real intimacy involves getting down in the trenches not leave at first sign of mishap. But I guess if you are not in it for the long haul the quick and easy route would be to get a lion that’s already tamed instead of knowing as the lion tamer to tame a lion yourself. If we want to get into the ‘Man’ and what is role is and I’m pretty sure that doesn’t mean running at the first sign of trouble. But again if you have ill will or inproper intent then you will run so maybe instead of an article about why women won’t be getting anything for Valentine’s Day we should discuss the ill-intent of these men against so many of our women.

        • Gil

          My whole point in emphasising the phrase “REAL MEN” was to identify (without having to explicitly go into detail) who these real men are. The men you described in your last comment do not fit the definition of a real man. Most real men are not running from a situation they willingly chose to be a part of. Further, I’m not laying the blame strictly on women. In this particular article I am, however, pointing out some women. These women know who they are as most of us reading this know exactly who they are as well.

          As far as a man feeling no sense of loyalty, kinship, or responsibility: you’re either dealing with a grown ass child or you’ve allowed this man to act this way. A man will only act a certain way towards a female if the woman allows it. If a man calls you a bitch, you have 2 choices: check it right then and there or act like it didn’t bother you. If you act like it doesn’t bother you, then guess what…don’t be surprised if he believes it doesn’t bother you & he chooses to call you a bitch in the future.

          Women have a lot of control in how to get a man to act “accordingly”. At the same time, when a woman starts dealing with a “real man”, she needs to understand that just b/c you got this man to dress nice, whine & dine you, take care of you and the kids, etc…don’t think for a minute that is a sign of weakness which would allow for you as a woman to think you can step into his shoes & start playing his role.

          Both men & women contribute equally to the success or failure of a relationship indeed. I’m not saying all men are perfect & I’ll more than likely I’ll be writing an article of the failures of men in the future as well. It’s just I chose to address this issue primarily with women b/c after all, who is Valentine’s Day really marketed for…men or women? I don’t know of one man who gives a damn about receiving a gift on Valentine’s Day. The only gift we are concerned about is getting some pussy…and it doesn’t have to be Valentine’s Day for us to be rewarded with that lol. Women on the other hand tend to view Feb 14 as some national historic day they hope & pray they will not be passed over on.

  • James Smith

    Good stuff Gil.

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