One phrase that will probably never go out of style any time soon within the black community is “There are no good men. They are either married, dead, or gay.” Just recently (as in 3 days ago) I heard a woman say that & I thought to myself, well, if that is her criteria for what she believes to be a “good” man, then what in the hell is going on in society as to why we keep churning out “bad” men? How have these so-called bad men started outnumbering the good men? Who is allowing these potentially good men to go bad? Finally, how are sorry ass black men even created to begin with???
Everybody for the most part has somewhat of an idea as to how “good” black men are created. Most believe good black men come from 2 parent homes, have a strong & responsible male role model in their lives, they go to school & graduate, avoid jail, marry their girlfriends, become an active father in raising his kids, & ultimately just become a productive member of society trying to do the best he can in life. Nothing wrong with that at all…I’ve probably described countless millions of black men in America just now, too include myself. Now, the flip side to this…what really causes a potentially good black man to become a sorry ass black man. I use the phrase “sorry ass black man” because I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard that phrase growing up coming from either relatives in reference to their boyfriends or just in general useage. So if you are offended by the phrase “sorry ass black man” well…too bad. It is what it is. Fact remains, there ARE A LOT of sorry ass black men roaming the earth as we speak. To the lady I heard say a few days ago that there are no good men, well possibly coming from her background & perspective, that may be a fair assessment…to her.
Anyways, I’m about to list my reasons for how sorry ass black men are created. This is just based off my experiences in life in seeing sorry ass black men. I could talk about white men, Hispanic men, Asian men, green men, blue men, X-Men, etc. Instead I’m going to talk about black men. If that presents a problem to you, leave a message in the comments.
4 Reasons How Sorry Ass Black Men Are Created
1. Lack of Education: We all should know this by now especially as your 30s creep closer & closer. As a teen in high school it’s understandable to a certain extent if a teen can’t comprehend the value of an education beyond his 140 character, Instagram, twerking, I’m about to be the next rapper attention span. But if one can’t even graduate high school because they think 2+2 = Jello, then realistically, what are we as a society about to be dealing with? We’re about to be dealing with the next dope boy, jack boy, hoodlum running around with his pants damn near down to his knee caps talking AND typing as such “wuh dehs bishz talmbot…ii keepz it a hunnid ma nii”…TRANSLATION: “what these bitches talking about…i keeps it 100 my nigga.” Unfortunately, I discovered I had to become fluent in this gibberish for the simple fact I kept getting pissed when I read something from a cousin of mines on Facebook. For the life of me I still can’t figure out why someone would type that way. It honestly takes more effort to type the exact way you speak than it does to type in proper English. When you have a lack of education, you get a bunch of sorry ass black men with aspirations to become dope boys, rappers, & thugs whom all talk like they just immediately left the dentist office after receiving a shot of novocaine in their gums.
2. Lack of Financial Literacy: If all the financial understanding of money you have is that of “bands a make her dance”, “racks on racks on racks”, “10, 10, 10, 20s, & them 50s bitch” & “income tax season”; chances are you are well on your way to a staring role in How Sorry Ass Black Men Are Created. We all like money, we all know that we can buy nice & shiney things with money, we all know that money can possibly improve the quality of your life. What we all DON’T know is that the true power of money resides in one being able to help other people, increase one’s net worth through investments, starting a business, or just putting money away for a comfortable retirement. The power of money does not reside in walking around with dope boy stacks in your pockets, buying out the bar, or making it rain in the strip club…then going back to your section 8 housing complex flexing like you’re the man. It amazes me how someone living in section 8 can appear to “stunt” harder than me. I guess with $35/month rent versus my stack and above mortgage payment per month it is easier to appear to be the man. Sometimes I love to withdraw a few hundred or a few thousand out of the bank in 20s & 100s & I come home and make it rain on my wife…but then I usually pick all that money back up & go to the store & spend it on it’s intended purpose like washer/dryer sets, fixing up my bucket parked out in the driveway, or taking my wife & kid somewhere for the weekend to chill at. It doesn’t really appeal to me to walk around with a dope boy knot in my pocket just so I can occasionally pull it out & look at the chick over the counter and say something like “yeah lil mama…yeah…i’m gettin’ it skr8 like dat ya feelme.” TRANSLATION: “Yes, lil lady, yes, I’m getting it straight like that you feel me?” Me, I’d rather say something along the lines of “hey wife, LOOK…no debt, fat ass emergency fund, look at the performance on these investments, tickets to Hawaii. I’m doin’ it str8 like dat ya feel me.”
3. Women Allowing Sorry Ass Black Men to Exist: Yes I said it! Don’t like it, deal with it. Women are to blame for this shit too. A man will only do what a woman will allow him to do. If you as a woman allow a man to run all over you and talk to you any kind of way & you continually allow this man to come back into your life, then you get what deserve plain & simple. Sure some can throw out the lame reasoning of how this is how they were raised to be treated by men, or this is all they’ve ever known….BULLSHIT! Everybody in the world has a sense of right from wrong whether you initially recognize it or not. It’s called your intuition or your gut feeling. It’s a basic human survival trait instilled in you since the creation of humans. If you repeatedly allow a man to act a complete damn fool with you, call you out your name, run up & ruin your credit, live in your house while he doesn’t work or pay bills, cheat on you, & does not raise his own kids…then I’m sorry, you get what you deserve. You can only use the line “he loves me or cares about me” only so many times before you ass needs to wake the hell up. Seriously, some of you women out there contribute to this epidemic of sorry ass black men. Some of you are in relationships with them or you are currently raising one. Yup, if you have a teenage son who doesn’t go to school, sags to his ankles, doesn’t work but stays with money in his pockets, maybe a baby mama here or there…then guess what, you’re contributing to the next generation of sorry ass black men. Don’t like it…then do something about it. Gain some respect for yourself.
4. Fathers Leaving Their Kids. This is probably the worst out of all. Nothing disgusts me more than a man who will leave the child he helped to create. Even if the man & the mother don’t stay together, leaving your kids, that’s some low shit. Men who grow up to be sorry ass black men have really no one to thank but all the sorry ass black men who walked out of their lives. Yes, I know some sorry ass black men have fathers in their lives and they still grow up to be sorry, but I’m willing to bet it’s more that don’t than those that do. You want to leave an impression on a child’s life…be there. Be there as a father to guide, teach, & provide for them. I mean, if you got enough money to toss around in the strip club or be the first one standing in line to buy a pair of Jordans then I’m sure you have enough money to pay child support or better yet, spend TIME with your child. Spending time with your child instead of just sending in payments or buying them stuff will always prove to be a better investment in the long run.
This list could go on & on but these are the things that stick out to me the most as it pertains to the creation of sorry ass black men. I know this may be offensive, demeaning, stereotyping, or whatever; but honestly, I don’t give a damn. I see this all the time everywhere I go online & offline & I’ve yet to figure it out as to why this appears to be such an accepted attribute of black culture here in America. Yes, I also understand that every other race/culture is filled with their fair share of sorry ass men. But guess what, I’m not talking about them. Maybe one day I will in another post, till then I’m talking about black men. If you don’t like it, like I stated earlier…feel free to leave a comment expressing your disdain & I’ll respectfully reply back to you.
photo credit: Thomas Hawk